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<blockquote data-quote="bemis" data-source="post: 10886" data-attributes="member: 197">I'm not keeping track of the days, but it's been a long time for me since I gave up flogging the dolphin.&nbsp; I've failed a lot in the past, and could fail again, but wanted to tell you guys what helped me the most and maybe it helps you.&nbsp; For most of us, when we stop we're forced to sit with ourselves.&nbsp; That thin veneer over loneliness is gone, and you just have yourself and the truth.&nbsp; That's tough because the truth is I ought to be ashamed.&nbsp; Why bother being accountable to somebody like myself, a known penis grabber?&nbsp; I'll just fail again, make excuses, doubt myself, hate myself, and fail again. I have to be accountable to somebody else.It took me a while but I swallowed my pride, and pushed down my shame just enough to start going to church every week.&nbsp; In about two months I'd met a few people after mass, along with my priest.&nbsp; Mostly really nice old ladies who actually care (old catholic ladies really do care about you, and if they say they'll pray for you, it's basically a done deal--she's doing it).Now any time I start thinking about straying from the path, all of those people around me in my life come to mind.&nbsp; How could I face them again after I've failed? They've spent time of their own praying for me, and how am I repaying their help? How could I give the face smiling at me as I enter the chapel a reason to frown? The priest, who has sacrificed his life to bring me the Eucharist, how could I belittle his sacrifice?You might think &quot;that just makes failing even worse&quot; and you're right.&nbsp; What would hurt the most is they would forgive you, and accept you with your weaknesses, and love you anyway.God is a father, Mary is a mother, Jesus is a Son.&nbsp; That is a family.&nbsp; The Church is married to Christ and so we are in that family. You belong to that family, and surrounded by them you will find all the strength you ever need.&nbsp; There will be somebody who sees you for the good person you really are.&nbsp; Give them reasons to think so. Don't go it alone.[ATTACH=full]1821[/ATTACH]</blockquote>

[QUOTE="bemis, post: 10886, member: 197"] I'm not keeping track of the days, but it's been a long time for me since I gave up flogging the dolphin. I've failed a lot in the past, and could fail again, but wanted to tell you guys what helped me the most and maybe it helps you. For most of us, when we stop we're forced to sit with ourselves. That thin veneer over loneliness is gone, and you just have yourself and the truth. That's tough because the truth is I ought to be ashamed. Why bother being accountable to somebody like myself, a known penis grabber? I'll just fail again, make excuses, doubt myself, hate myself, and fail again. I have to be accountable to somebody else. It took me a while but I swallowed my pride, and pushed down my shame just enough to start going to church every week. In about two months I'd met a few people after mass, along with my priest. Mostly really nice old ladies who actually care (old catholic ladies really do care about you, and if they say they'll pray for you, it's basically a done deal--she's doing it). Now any time I start thinking about straying from the path, all of those people around me in my life come to mind. How could I face them again after I've failed? They've spent time of their own praying for me, and how am I repaying their help? How could I give the face smiling at me as I enter the chapel a reason to frown? The priest, who has sacrificed his life to bring me the Eucharist, how could I belittle his sacrifice? You might think "that just makes failing even worse" and you're right. What would hurt the most is they would forgive you, and accept you with your weaknesses, and love you anyway. God is a father, Mary is a mother, Jesus is a Son. That is a family. The Church is married to Christ and so we are in that family. You belong to that family, and surrounded by them you will find all the strength you ever need. There will be somebody who sees you for the good person you really are. Give them reasons to think so. Don't go it alone. [ATTACH type="full"]1821[/ATTACH] [/QUOTE]

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