Wow, it feels good to be back on these pages. It’s been quite awhile! The last few times I’ve posted here I always find myself giving some variation of that intro, and it’s sad. Because the one thing that always reigns supreme for me is the written word. A lot of you motherfuckers can’t even read these days, so it’s much more lucrative to run my mouth on the internet. Nonetheless, this is my personal favorite when it comes to my online output.
The next natural question then would be, “Why doesn’t your fat ass write, then?” Well, like I said, I make more money running my mouth. But, it’s not just that. It takes time to write and I just don’t find myself having much of that these days. Two shows a day, five days a week. The setup for that, the prep for that…real life shit on top. You can quickly see how these things add up. Still, I’m making a promise to myself to come back here much more often.
I’m thinking of that Happy Gilmore scene now…
I won’t even mention the mythical book. OK, well, I guess I just did. Point is, I haven’t forgotten all the written word enthusiasts. I’m one of them myself.
Why am I here, again? I don’t think I’ve made that clear. I mentioned being a fan of writing. One of the reasons is because I always feel like it helps me clear my head a bit. It takes the jumbled up morass of bullshit that is my conscious mind and orders it, at least for a time. I find myself becoming more patient and more strategic the more that I write. I’m not sure if it’s like that for everyone, but I’ve certainly noticed it with myself.
Tweets do not count in the above calculation, which is one reason I took several days away from that platform. The other is because I think a break was needed for me to delineate the first part of 2021 from the end of the year. I’ve let people who are pieces of shit, quite frankly…people who have personally betrayed me…get way too much time on my own platform. They don’t deserve the acknowledgement and I think that part of the show has taken away too much time from the rest of it. The pie chart is out of whack, so to speak.
This is not even addressing the wild bullshit that’s made up by anonymous spergs on the daily. That’s certainly something I’m gonna be ignoring, too, going forward. I’ve had long stretches before where I’ve done just that. But it’s easy to get in the mindset of, “I need to correct this heinous lie, lest someone actually believe it.” But, truthfully, there’s so much outright fabrication and fanfiction from those sectors at this point that I don’t even think it matters. In fact, who gives a fuck anyway? I actually want those people to hate me, because I hate them as well. I often wish them dead, their family ruined, them out on the streets…just as all those things have been wished on me by that same mob. So, why even care? It makes no sense, logically. And for the few people who may be convinced by those idiots, the same thing applies. Eat shit and die.
So, stop sending me musings from the grifter lawyer who allegedly pimps out his wife to black dudes. I don’t care about the child pornographer who runs the fanfiction forum, unless it’s his arrest report or obituary. The twink down in Dallas who finally came out of the closet? Nah. Leave it. I have more important things to worry about. Like, the Killstream.
Speaking of that program, I will be returning on October 25th at 9:30PM EST. I’m still working on the upcoming guest list, but here’s what I have so far:
Tues, October 26th: Vito Gesualdi and Dick Masterson
Thur, October 28th: Tommy Sotomayor makes his Killstream Debut
Tues, November 2nd: Raging Dissident + Virginia Governor Election Night
Thur, November 4th: Nick Fuentes vs Styx – The China Question
Fri, November 5th: Adam Green vs Myles Poland – Is Christianity Jewish Propaganda?
Unfortunately, I’m not able to announce the reopening of Killstream.TV just yet. The site has been getting hit by attacks since August. Imavex, the people who work on behalf of our partners from SecureServer, detailed this in their own press release. These things happen, but this seems to be a deliberate attack on the Killstream itself, along with some of the other right wing creators who use SecureServer. We sent out a message and told people to change their passwords, etc. The bank said there was no danger from the “last 4” information, but some changed cards anyway, which I understand. I thought that would be enough, however the attackers have still been messing with some of the core functions of the site. So, the decision was made to take it down.
This has turned out to be more complex than originally thought because of the nature of the assault. I had a call on Thursday with SecureServer. They offered me the ability to break the contract I have with them, but said they hoped that I wouldn’t. It was then explained that it would take two weeks for them to get the site back up on the new solution. Given what they said and what I already have invested in the operation (not money-wise, just time and effort), I told them to go ahead with the fix. That’s where we are now. They also offered me a month’s refund, but I told them to add it onto the user’s subscriptions instead.
I’ll send another email out to subscribers later this evening.
Where does that leave us? Here, I guess. It’s been a long year. The stuff I talked about in the intro aren’t the only things that have gotten me off track. I also have some well documented disputes with unnamed parties in my personal life. I think I’ve spent way too much time on that stuff, too, at least as far as “in public” goes. Those things will continue to progress without me tweeting about it. I do have a criminal court date early next year, on a charge that most thought was already behind me. I expect to come out on top, because I’m not guilty. But, you never know how these things may turn out. Just to put it all out there, it’s a misdemeanor with an 11-month max. Absolute worst case scenario is out by Christmas 2022. Nothing like that would ever break me. I think most of you know it. But, those are the facts of the matter and it’s better, in my mind, to just put them out there.
Oh, before I go: Shoutout to my Mom. I miss her so much. The year has been…well, it’s the worst year of my life because of her passing. There’s just no getting around that. She could have went in a perfect manner and it still would have been the shittiest time ever. But, as I’ve talked about, that’s not what happened at all. For that reason, it’s been extra tough. She was stolen away from me through the neglect of others and I didn’t even get to be with her on the day she died. It’s something I can still barely comprehend. How could this have happened to me?
Fact is, it did. And I’m still here. There is nothing anyone mentioned in this post, obliquely or otherwise, could ever do to top that feeling. Honestly, there’s nothing in this life that could ever break me on such a level ever again. It’s kind of liberating in many respects. These people have no idea what hard times really are. A short bid in jail ain’t it and neither are f****** online making up bullshit. Getting a call in the middle of your show, asking for permission to put your Mother on a ventilator and initiate brain surgery? Yea, that’s it.
Another acknowledgement: May, who is carrying my child, has been a great, shining light in my life. She’s also put up with all my bullshit over the past year. AND, on top of that, she’s carrying my daughter and just hit 14 weeks. So, I would be remiss if I didn’t give her the proper credit as well.
See, not everything is shit. Also, ONE MORE shoutout to all the supporters, who most definitely are not shit. I’m still proud of our output this year and I hope you are as well. I took the last four days or so to recharge, which I know I don’t often do. I think it will be to the benefit of the show, though, and hopefully you will agree.
OK, OK, I’ll stop with the writing…for now.
What must it be like to live in abject fear?
Not the everyday variety. Life is hard, and we’re all scared, to some degree. Sickness, death, birth, life…the mysteries of existence. These things have torn at the psyche of great (and lesser) men since time began.
Fear itself is not new.
What I’m talking about is a different kind of fear. One that keeps you from leaving your house. One that causes you to change the name you were born with. One that pushes you into deluding your fellow citizens into the nightmare COVID regime.
All because, at your core, you are a scared, old man who’s simply afraid to die.
You’ve never had any real convictions your whole life. You’re proud of that, even! Or, so you say. In reality, you are a scared child praying, hoping, wishing that you could escape your just rewards. You’ll do anything, suck off any one, to avoid it. You simply can’t live as you have portrayed yourself. It’s too much! You cry about it in Twitter dm’s, you whine to your fat Asian hog….but deep down, you know this is what you signed up for.
And you can’t fucking stand it.
You entire life is a fabrication. You duck and dive and do whatever you possibly can to avoid the piper getting paid. You put your own family at risk. You do anything, anything at all, to avoid simply owning up to your deeds. You have no core whatsoever, and what you do claim as personality traits are simply things you read on a message board.
Most people would see this as a hellish existence…because it is.
There are mistakes I have made, to be sure. But I could never, and would never, live like a fucking bitch. Scared to leave my house…scared of the name my Daddy gave me…scared of fucking COVID…scared of anything and everything.
It’s all terror to you when the microphone is off.
We all know it, too. It’s very easy to see a scared old man, coughing up one of his last breaths in between lame monologues that weren’t even funny 2 years ago, much less now.
I literally would have rather died in the street the other day here in Lisbon than live like a fucking coward, if you can even call what I described above as “living.”
Some people are fine with the delusions. They are comforted by them, even. I understand! I, too, used to love the thought of Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy. But there comes a time when childish delusions about a childless loser must come to an end.
It’s the natural course of life, you see.
Well, if you actually live life. If you live like scared, old, bitch…well, maybe you continue on in your delusions.
I won’t hold it against you!
The Emperor has no clothes, he has no children, and he has very few white blood cells left (allegedly).
Maybe, in another life, he wasn’t such a pussy.
See you tomorrow night on the Killstream!
I really didn’t want to write a long ass article on Cancer Man James Augustine (formerly James O’Shaughnessy) and all this gay ass Gator shit, but, you know, if you never go into detail on your side and your thinking, people will just run wild with their own bullshit. I really thought my last post was one of the greats here on the site. I didn’t want to add to it. But then Gator went on air and apparently mischaracterized some things, so it just has to happen.
I say apparently, because I didn’t watch a single minute of their 8 hour therapy session. Let me lay out some indisputable facts, however.
I told Gator I wanted him off the show the day after Andy Warski and the fat lesbian he does a show with sent a goon to my actual home. The reason? He was joking around with Warski about “xanaxberries” on Twitter.
We’ll have to invite you to the next one. Bring some xannyberries.
— Traitor Gator, Bringer of Harvests 2WUR🌽 (@GatorTimeYT) January 22, 2022
This is a guy, Gator, who I’ve paid every month for almost 2 years. I’ve literally put food on this fat motherfucker’s table, and he’s joking around with the cokehead who just sent someone to my home…on the very same weekend, taking shots at my past drug usage? Disloyal is not the word. Disgusting, is more like it. Gator would be crying in his dakimakura if someone came to his shitty ass apartment.
I’ve mentioned this already, but I wasn’t frightened in the slightest about the clown coming to my house. I would have loved nothing more than to come out there with my baseball bat and crack his fucking skull open. But, you know, I have cases and court concerns all over the fucking country (unlike others, I don’t run and hide in my anime dungeon, change my name, etc). It’s just not something I’m at liberty to do, especially with my daughter about to be born in 2 months.
But you know who was upset? My fiancée, May. She didn’t lose her mind in fear. But she didn’t know who it was at first and it was a frightening situation. Why, you ask? Someone tried to kidnap her out of home in September 2020. The bastard is going to be sentenced for this next week. This is public record. But the way you hear people certain scumbags talk about this, it’s no big deal to come to my house and scare my 7-months pregnant fiancée who was almost kidnapped from her home last year.
Yea, if you think like that, you can just kill yourself. Even 30 seconds of fear is 30 seconds too much. Plus, all the people you see talking shit would literally piss their pants if someone showed up to their house. But I’m supposed to be cool with that?
Punks thought it was hilarious to visit my home and scare my pregnant fiancee. Why might she be scared? She didn’t even know who it was outside at first, for one. But what about after?
Someone tried to kidnap her last year from her home. The guy pled guilty to felonies. KF Take? pic.twitter.com/dvKuYF2uYB
— Ethan Ralph (@TheRalphRetort) January 25, 2022
Gator knew someone tried to kidnap May last year. He knew it all. But he still saw fit to roll me under the bus for cheap Twitter laughs. Why? Because he’s weak in mind and spirit…a little bitch, to be quite honest. The very least someone in his spot could do is keep his fucking mouth shut and have some kind of honor. But, you know, that’s not Gator, apparently.
Oh, and he wasn’t happy with his compensation? Well, that’s news to me. Gator (and I really hope he tries to deny this) never once complained to me about one red cent. Men ask for more money if they want more money. I don’t run a fucking charity. And to be quite honest with you, he’s been phoning it in for months and barely even appearing on the show. A guy like Southern Dingo has added a million times more to the on air entertainment the last 6 months. No one with a brain can argue this.
The dude wasn’t pulling his ample weight. That’s the simple fact of the matter.
Anyway, after I caught the beatdown here in Lisbon, I messaged him and tried to just forget that. Let’s put it behind us, etc. This was my good friend! I thought, you know, let me let this be a lesson! Life is more important! We did put it behind us, briefly, although he still didn’t want to come back on the show. Which, to be honest with you, I was more than fine with. Then, he went on Twitter and got in his feelings after I wrote my last post. He said he would wish me the best of luck in my future endeavors. This is a line I’ve used (it comes from Vince McMahon) and he did it to fuck with me, without question. I wrote him on Discord and said there would be no further need for us to talk and he gave me the Discord for my show that I had him “running” (in reality he did very little after the setup.
The next time I heard from him, he was snaking on me with the prolific out and proud homosexual streamer, Flamenco. I think I had said something about getting rid of the dead weight on my own live show, but other than that, I was very measured in what I said about this fucking goblin. He goes on an 8 hour whine fest lol.
It was clearly planned and premeditated. Which, you know, is fine. That’s how this business goes. But anyone acting like this fucking sniveling weasel has any ounce of honor or moral standing is full of shit. He was my personal little bitch for years for the low, low price of $200 a month. The fuck can make up whatever the hell he wants to now, but that’s the truth. If you wanted more money, you should have asked for it, loser.
He’s now on Twitter bringing my son into his attacks, so I think that says pretty much all you need to know. The dude is scum and I wouldn’t piss on him if he were on fire. Hopefully this cancer shit is the gift that keeps on giving and spreads to another…sector.
Speaking of cancer…”Whyyyyyyyyy, whyyyyyy would you say something about DADDY JIM?”
Some fucking old man who shakes his cancer medication bottles and talks shit about me every time I hear him open his goddamn mouth on the topic? The shit isn’t even funny. It’s some old, stale joke, like his actual life. The guy lives in a fucking constant state of fear, refuses to even leave his home, lest he get sneezed on and die, and was dead wrong on the biggest issue of our lifetimes, COVID-19. For months he promoted the nonsense that we needed to shutdown our whole world. He came on my show and said the same. Then, he disappeared for a year and has still yet to own up to the worst call of our lifetimes.
And he’s just an annoying faggot. Joking about someone is one thing. I joke about myself constantly. My life is insane. But when every time you see someone, they’re talking shit, it’s not good natured. It’s a guy trying to put someone else down and I just don’t think some old, scary-minded, anime dungeon-having freak deserves any respect any more. At one time, I felt differently. I’ve been very deferential to the guy. That shit is beyond over. I’m not Gator. I don’t roll over for anyone.
Everything you see from him is fake. He was scared shitless of getting sued by that old Monograph loser, so shitless, in fact, that he changed his own name. Do you know how that was discovered, by the way? His camwhore partner got her card pulled because she was too sloppy to keep up (sloppy is a theme with her). This is the Mighty Metokur! The fake king of anonymity who namefagged his whole life…who was against Patreon and merch, before he was for it…who is actually just a scared senior citizen not too far off from the literal nursing home.
I’m way past acting like this dude has any standing to talk shit about anyone’s life and not get some smoke in return. Motherfucker, you sit in your house, terrified, and watch Japanese cartoons all day. I would sooner die than live your pathetic existence, and that’s no hyperbole.
Some people wanted me to go into detail, so there you go. I think you’re starting to catch my drift, whether you agree with it or not. I’m not gonna live as a fake. I’m not gonna give deference to subpar ex-employees who ratted on me while I was in my hospital bed. And I’m for damn sure not gonna give any more fucks about addressing anyone or any topic
If you want the smoke, you can get it.