Clique Theory

Clique Theory

$lave’s Note: This is a mirror of Taken from here.

Clique Theory Outline

Looking at Life, Losing, and the Law School Scam

Brought to you by The Clique Masters of JDU

All material contained herein is a compilation of all- original posts previously posted on the JDU/Off-Topic Forum, and have been edited for length, clarity, and spelling, but not necessarily for consistency; and certainly not for political correctness or profanity. “Unless you can scientifically prove that any of these basic tenets of Clique Theory are wrong please do not attempt to posit counterfactuals to them and do not ask questions that can be easily answered by following this outline.”

Readers are forewarned. Stop Caring ®

Mortem in Circuitu
(Death Is All Around Us)

Table of Contents


  1. Genotypes & Phenotypes


  1. Basic Clique Classifications


III. Sub-Cliques


  1. Identification of Cliques


  1. Identifying the genotype and phenotype
  2. Career Accomplishments ≠ Clique
  3. Clique = Destiny


  1. “Stay in Your Lane”


  1. Ascending Your Clique
  2. Attempting to escape Clique = Disaster
  3. Cliques for Dummies


  1. Clique Traits in a Nutshell
  2. Careers For Cliques
  3. How to get a Job by Clique
  4. How to ID and deal with a Scumbag
  5. What Nerds and Scumbags have in Common
  6. Educating the Cliques
  7. Clique Math


VII. Case Studies


  1. Portrait of an Anonymous Loser as a Young Man
  2. Paul of Tarsus, Loser Who Becomes Ascended Loser
  3. Peter of “Office Space”, Loser who becomes an Ascended Loser
  4. President Bill Clinton, Loser, Scumbag, or what?
  5. Abraham Lincoln, Jockengineer
  6. Clique Assessment of Gov. Chris Christie
  7. Loser Georgecostanza
  8. Woman Clique Priorities
  9. At What Ages Do the Respective Cliques Peak?
  10. Lifespans of the Cliques
  11. Losers v. Nerds: GPA
  12. Cliques and Academia
  13. Clique Theory and the Law School Scam
  14. Law School by Clique
  15. Not Caring ® by Clique
  16. Lane v. Clique
  17. Holiday Plans by Clique
  18. Cliques in the Looney-Bin


VIII. Historical Cliques and Pseudo-Cliques


  1. Feudal/India/Modern America
  2. The Evolution of Cliques
  3. The Black “Clique”
  4. Asian “Cliques”


  1. The Politics of Clique


  1. Ideologies in a Nutshell
  2. Preps make the best Presidents
  3. The Politics of Cliques
  4. What Happens when a Loser becomes a Leader
  5. Communism and Capitalism vs. Clique-ism
  6. How the Cliques Fight
  7. How Nerds Rule the World
  8. The Future, by Clique
  9. Ridding the World of Excess Losers


  1. Q & A


  1. Does a Moral Universe Preclude the Existence of Cliques?
  2. Can you use Punnett Squares to determine Clique?
  3. How do I Straighten my Son out?
  4. Is there a Clique for late bloomers?
  5. What purpose do Preps serve?
  6. At what point in life to Cliques manifest and how soon are they enforced?
  7. What is the difference between a Cliqueless Loser vs. Becliqued Loser?
  8. So…according to Clique Theory I’m a Loser?
  9. Can a Loser be Rich?
  10. Does Clique Determine Character?
  11. Is it possible for a Loser to pull himself off as a Jock?
  12. What is the biggest obstacle for a Loser to pull off being a Scumbag?
  13. Are White Jocks relevant anymore?
  14. Can a Scumbag be a Hipster?
  15. Does Marriage alter Clique? What about inter-Clique Dating?
  16. Is there more divorce among inter-Clique couples?
  17. As a Loser, what is the best/worst type of person to be interviewed by?
  18. Why Couldn’t I get the $11/hr. Airline Handler job I applied for?
  19. Should CT be taught in the schools?
  20. My Brother wants to Drop Out of College
  21. Someone explain how the alpha/beta dichotomy works in Clique Theory?
  22. Is CT a Religion?



  1. Heresies


  1. CT  is a based on a purloined, overdrawn movie analogy
  2. CT  is unscientific and arbitrary
  3. Veering out of  your Lane is not always disastrous
  4. “Modified” Clique Theories?
  5. The “Rebels” Heresy


XII. Sociological Implications of CT


  1. Clique is the Opus Magnum of Sociological Theories
  2. CT and the Law School Scam




  1. Explaining Genotypes and Phenotypes to Losers who Failed High School Biology
  2. Does Clique Theory Have a Future?
  3. Why Losers make the Best Posters
  4. Clique Chess Thread
  5. Using Clique Theory in Real Life
  6. Population Distribution by Clique
  7. Apologia





  1. GENOTYPES & PHENOTYPES                                                           (Theimmigrant)


Americans are raised to believe that acts of will are what matter in life, but this is wrong. Optimism is a message sold by liars. Fatalism is credited. Every act of will is limited by genotype and phenotype, and is even a PRODUCT of genotype and phenotype, since they are generated by your brain which is a product of your genetics. This is why it’s impossible to escape your Clique. Really the ONLY thing you can do to improve yourself that won’t end in disaster is to try to reach the Ascended Form of your Clique, i.e., a Woman becoming a Hot Girl, a Scumbag becoming a High Prole, or a Loser becoming a High Loser, such as liberal arts professor, head of state, or villain. In order to do that, you need not only the will, but a certain amount of luck.


  • Clique is a combination of genotype and phenotype. (See Glossary if you flunked high school biology)
  • You are born into a clique and clique is as unalterable as eye color or fingerprint.
  • While occasionally it appears that someone has changed cliques, a scientific observation will always show that he was misclassified previously. Genes can be dominant or recessive; Phenotype, expressed through gene dominance, is what is salient.



  1. BASIC CLIQUE CLASSIFICATIONS                                (Theimmigrant)


  • There are and always will be 6 primary clique classifications:









  • A Jock can be misidentified as a Prep, or a Loser can be misidentified as a Scumbag, it happens.
  • There are also individuals, who are hybrid between two Cliques, so what appears to be a normal Scumbag might, in truth, be a Scumgineer. This does not mean that he transitioned from Scumbag to Nerd but rather that his half-Nerd genotype took longer than usual to manifest in his phenotype being previously overwhelmed by his Scumbag genetics.
  • There are hybrids between them. A Woman can be hybrid Woman clique with another clique or even (extremely rarely) two other Cliques. Not all women are Woman Clique.
  • (A) Guy can be born into a Prep family that had recessive Scumbag genes in their genotype. (Then, when he leaves home, he reverts to his true self in order to achieve homeostasis. (Onefortheteam, 9/10/13)


III.   SUB-CLIQUES                                                                     (Theimmigrant)


  • The Loser Clique is subdivided into cliqued Losers and cliqueless Losers.
  •  Cliqueless Losers aren’t really PART of the Loser clique per se but they are classified there for various scientific reasons.


  • The difference between a cliqued Loser and cliqueless Loser is that the cliqued Loser will be part of some Loser community (Goth, FauxNerd, whatever) while the cliqueless Loser is reviled by all and is by definition a Loner.
  • Cliqued Losers will gather together for support while cliqueless Losers will be shunned even by other cliqueless Losers.  Friends = People who form social alliances based on Clique and Phenotype. No one wants to be friends with a Loser, not even other Losers. Posters are cliqueless and have Bad Phenotypes
  • There are, of course, overlaps in certain areas between the cliques. For example, you will find both Jock and Prep executives. Likewise you will find both Scumbags and Losers doing menial tasks.



  1. IDENTIFICATION OF CLIQUES                                      (Theimmigrant)


Everyone understands Clique Theory on a sub conscious level. It is innate, because people naturally divide into groups to war for sex and power, and the most natural groupings in nature are based on genotype and phenotype. However, cultures can choose to set up rules, norms, and laws that either reinforce Cliques, or try to break them down. As has already been noted, the U.S. is set up in a way that not only solidifies Cliques, but ensures that we have the strictest Clique system in the world.


1) To identify someone’s clique you do NOT look at their station in life but rather at their GENOTYPE and PHENOTYPE.


  • Cliques manifest in a person’s phenotype, not just their personality, or even their demeanor. Jocks have more robust builds and bigger dicks than the lower cliques, and a magnetic countenance due to high testosterone. Nerds have larger heads and are awkward. Losers can be similar phenotypically to Nerds, but they will have a more Losery countenance. Scumbags look like Scumbags.
  • Clique body types are unalterable. The problem with Losers is that their metabolisms conspire to give them bad phenotypes. Diet/exercise will never completely do it for a Loser: he will always be fat and/or weak.



Clique is largely DNA driven and can be generally be detected within 5 seconds of meeting someone, but a lot of people are on the cusp of various Cliques and can enter them, even if they do so awkwardly. A Bad Prep is going to be way, way more successful than a Good Loser. Like, ridiculously so. A Jock who is bad at sports is going to be accepted into the Jock Clique just for playing and pretending to like sports. He’ll never be a Good Jock, but he’ll date Hot Girls and have a job in a back-slapping field. Many, many Losers would make very good Nerds.

Particularly if you’re a smart Loser, all you have to do is re-orient your interests away from liberal arts and towards Sci-fi and stuff.


There is no moving beyond it. Literally anything you do, you’re aligning yourself with one Clique or another. Even if you disavow all job interviews or any interest in liberal arts careers, your Clique will follow you to the grave.


Live in a cabin in the woods? Nerd/Loser. Teach English in Japan? Loser. Walk  around saying “High school is so over, I don’t talk to anyone from high school,  I’ve Matured well beyond my peers, Cliques are so 1999.” Loser. You literally cannot escape Cliques unless you’re like a really cool character in a movie or book with no discernible friends who always gets the girl with no effort.




  • Paul Krugman and Thomas Friedman have the same job but Krugman is a Nerd and Friedman is a Prep.
  • Kevin Smith is rich but is still CLEARLY by genotype and phenotype a Loser.
  • John McCain = Prep (Military version). His is father (and grandfather) were both Admirals. Jocks in their Ascended form are the military leaders and elites.


  1. Career Accomplishments do NOT define Clique                         (Keithd, 8/14/13)


Do not make the mistake of concluding that that career path or professional accomplishments define Clique. They don’t. Genotype and phenotype define Clique. Personal and professional accomplishments are then the result of your Clique, with acts of will only able to determine whether you end up in High or Low status within your Clique.


Losers get Bad GPAs because they become mentally ill trying to change Cliques. (See Case Study 1). Qfora’s own Andy did better in college after joining a frat than he did as a try-hard loner Loser. Losers need structure to excel. Left alone to work independently, they would just wallow in ignominy all day. Andy joining a frat put him in a position where there were clear goals and expectations for him to meet.  The reality is that being a Loser means that someone is always trying to pwn you. Sometimes, a Loser’s worst enemies are fellow Losers. Losers see other Losers as competition, and many Losers are in denial about their own Loser status, and foolishly think that pwning other Losers will gain them entry into a Clique. Whenever a Loser is making advances by excelling in academics, professionally, or seemingly making waves flirting with a Hot Girl, someone will attempt to pwn him, because it just doesn’t feel right to observers.

Losers are constantly distrustful of one another. Everything a Loser achieves comes at the expense of another Loser. It’s a zero-sum game. Engineers create entire industries that never existed through the sheer force of engineering innovation. Losers displace Men with their ambition if they’re lucky; Engineers create and displace infrastructure.

  1. Clique Determines Destiny


These factors are all immutable and genetic, and determine one’s Clique and thus destiny. A common misperception and a conscious lie behind the Law School Scam is that “anything is possible”.  No it isn’t. Clearly some things are impossible. It’s impossible to square a circle, for example. There are actually a finite number of possibilities in the material universe. There are limits. Those limits are based on the way subatomic particles are arranged. Those arrangements are what determine our genotype and phenotype, which in turn determines the composition of our brain, and thus our personality, IQ, etc.


Actions are the result of your genotype and phenotype. You are shaped by the way other people treat you. Also, your acts of will are simply the product of your brain, which is determined by your genetics. Ultimately we are just combinations of subatomic particles and what we do is determined by how those subatomic particles are organized.


This is why Clique Theory encompasses both Determinism and Fatalism, and is in fact superior to both.                                                                                         (Keithd, 8/27/13)





1) GENOTYPE and PHENOTYPE are what define Clique


2) Accomplishments and careers DO NOT define one’s Clique


3) Clique status is immutable and determines your destiny.




  1. “STAY IN YOUR LANE”                         (Theimmigrant, date unknown)


Ascending Within Your Clique


Clique Theory is not completely fatalistic. Your Will is what determines whether you’ll be a Low Loser or High Loser, for example. But Will can’t change what’s immutable. When you use your Will to veer outside your lane, Bad things happen. Imagine if Einstein had tried to become a pro-athlete. He would have been bad at it, and the world would have been worse off without his contributions to science. That’s what we’re saying. That Einstein maximized his happiness by understanding that he was in the Nerd lane, and did what it took to become the Best Nerd possible.


Attempting to escape Clique = Disaster


Sometimes a person will belong to a certain Clique but be doing something totally outside that Clique’s areas of competence, such as a Loser playing professional sports or a Prep working at a gas station. This is caused by a failure of that person to stay in their lane and usually portends disaster. People who do not stay in their Clique Lanes do not often have happy endings to their stories.








Clique Flowchart






  1. CLIQUES FOR DUMMIES                                                 (Exnite)


  1. Clique Traits in a Nutshell™                                 (Exnite, 10/3/13)


Advantages: Old money; trust-funds set up at birth; connections; highly selective breeding leading to high IQ’s and good phenotypes; exclusivity; self-confidence; contempt for all other human beings outside the “Club”; laws specifically tailored to protect them; no moral compass other than Noblise Obligee; everything pre-wired for life-long success; hard to fuck up.

Disadvantages: Arrogance, snobbishness; aloofness; A-Hole-ishness. Another weakness of Preps is being personally corrupt. They’re so used to stealing money from the system and from the other Cliques at the professional level that it spilled over into their private lives. That’s why Prep politicians are constantly embroiled in influence peddling to tawdry sex scandals with Bimbos and Scumbaguettes.


Advantages: Athletic prowess; courage; leadership; teamwork; work ethic; competition-driven, success oriented; rugged phenotypes; bigger dicks.

Disadvantages: Arrogance & narcissism; lower IQ’s; lower self-awareness; lower adaptability once sports careers end; susceptibility to cheerleaderettes; physical injuries/early burn-out; lowest life expectancy of all Cliques. Off-the-charts superstitiousness.


Advantages: Superior IQ’s to all other Cliques; engineering and technology prowess; planning skills; perfectionism; ability to construct atomic weapons in the garage at an early age; oblivious to the powers of women .

Disadvantages: Oblivious to humanity; zero social skills; impractical; terrible phenotypes; physically weak/emotionally clueless; no self-awareness; highly susceptible to intimidation and bullying; poor eyesight.



Advantages: Brute strength and endurance, manual skills & craftsmanship; reproductive prowess; feral nature and instincts unencumbered by reflection, nuance or moral delusions.

Disadvantages: Lowest IQ of all Cliques; minimal education; zero self-awareness; poorest planning skills; poor impulse control; highly susceptible to substance abuse and the lure of Scumbaguettes.



Little more than Swiftian Ya-Hoos, their incompetence is a menace to themselves and others.

Advantages: NONE. Their high IQ’s plus high self-awareness are actually disadvantages, as these traits just  aggravate their frustration and sense of failure as they attempt to jump their Lane; erudite, but only in things that don’t count, like Liberal Arts.

Disadvantages: Inability to win at anything no matter what they do; highly aware but delusional; poor phenotypes, work ethic and motor skills; voracious sexual appetites but poor prospects tend to lead to perversion; highly susceptible to “get rich quick” schemes like Liberal Arts and the Law School Scam; lifetime non-dischargeable debt loads as a result of going to Law School; uncontrollable compulsion to spend their lives posting.


Advantages: Powers of manipulation, seduction, intimidation and outright Bitchiness that are incomprehensible to the other Cliques; high pain tolerance and endurance; lowest IQ’s for data processing but highest emotional IQ’s; totally instinct driven.

Weaknesses: Emotional; irrational; mistake and depression prone; physically weak; highly susceptible to the claims of religion and being pwn3d by other rivals within the Woman Clique; completely driven by their biological clocks and reproductive cycle.


Black “Clique”


Advantages: Athletic, sexual and musical prowess; a high hip and coolness factor; moral high ground; a legal system heavily slanted in their favor.

Disadvantages: Indecisiveness about their role in society; self-defeating behavior quotient (SDBQ) even higher than that of Losers; highly susceptible to being pwn3d by everyone; increasingly strange first names; language skills only vaguely approximate English.



  1. Careers for Cliques:                                                                              (Keithd)




  • Investment Banker
  • Medical Doctor
  • Prepxecutive
  • Manager of Losers




  • Cop
  • Professional athlete
  • Coach
  • High school teacher
  • Sales
  • Military
  • CEO




  • Engineer
  • Parallel Programmer
  • Medical Engineer
  • Medical Doctor
  • Quant
  • Startup Founder
  • Scientist
  • Professor/Academia
  • CEO
  • CIO
  • CFO



  • Administrative Assistant
  • Telemarketer
  • Any office job with low pay
  • Mall cop
  • Teacher*
  • Nurse*
  • Sales*
  • Dentist*
  • Medical job that isn’t Nurse or Doctor*
  • Liberal arts professor*




  • Factory worker
  • Construction worker
  • Mechanic
  • Tradesman
  • Drug dealer
  • Cop/Prison guard*
  • Military*
  • *Betters moving in on this territory due to bad economy; there are limited economic opportunities in the 21st century for people with bad phenotypes.
  1. How to get a job by Clique

If you’re a Jock, interview with a Jock; if you’re a Prep, interview with a Prep; if you’re a Nerd, interview at any job that requires Engineering; and if you’re a Scumbag, go to a workplace that requires manual labor and kick someone’s ass. If you win the fight, you’ll be hired.

If you’re a High Prole (Scumbag, Ascended Form), go to a workplace that requires manual labor and kick the ass of the Scumbag who just won the fistfight on the shop floor. Then ask for a job as foreman.

If you’re a Woman, go to any liberal arts firm and make $43,350/yr.

If you’re a Loser, go on 300 job interviews until you catch lightning in a bottle and happen to walk into the interview room and identify the interviewer as a fellow Loser within .05 seconds. Accept the salary without negotiating, which will range between $19,000/yr and $43,350/yr. Make peace with the fact that you will never be promoted and that all your career moves will be “lateral.”  (Keithd, 9/10/13)


  • Scumbags, in earnest, just need to show up to the job site in their pickup or motorcycle (not a car) and ask if they’re hiring. Same for the fast food place etc. Then, they have to call and follow up. Do this like 5 times and you’ll have a Scumbag job. (theimmigrant, 9/11/13)
  • I talked to a roofer the other day. He was younger than me, had long hair, spoke really broken English, had forearms the size of hams, and had a hot girlfriend. A true High Scumbag. He probably makes about twice as much as me (in cash), but works his fucking balls off.Still that’s so much of a better fate than that of the Liberal Artist, who has been conditioned to fear Hard Work, and sucks at it anyhow. Plus the Scumbag can selectively ignore people by pretended to not speak English. (unemployedalcoholic, 9/11/13)




  1. How to Identify a Scumbag   (Theimmigrant/Keithd, 5/26/13)


Scumbag is the most misunderstood of all Cliques. This is likely because of the name, which tends to be used as an all-purpose derogatory term. In Clique Theory, however, a Scumbag is a specifically-defined term with a pseudo-scientific meaning and must be applied carefully and correctly.

All Scumbags will possess at least two of the following characteristics:


  1. Highest level of education attained is high school.
  2. Working for cash while on SSDI.
  3. An unkempt residence.
  4. Enrolled in TANF/Food-stamps, and/or WIC
  5. A vehicle financed over 60 months; or major non-essential component of vehicle (Rimz, upgraded exhaust system, stereo system) is financed.
  6. Sub-650 credit score.
  7. Tattoo on arm below the elbow and/or above the neckline.
  8. No less than 1 felony or 1 misdemeanor and 5 moving vehicle violations.
  9. Past due on child support.
  10. Amount of children exceeds amount of times wed.
  11. Adjusted gross income that has never exceeded $24,000 since the real-estate crash.
  12. Reliance on pay-day advances
  13. Inability to describe the functions of the Federal Reserve.

Defining Characteristics of a Scumbag                 (OP believed to be Keithd)

Mental: Perhaps THE defining characteristic of the Scumbag is a lack of abstract reasoning ability. The Scumbag cannot imagine the future, cannot connect the present with the past, and has a very weak grasp on the theory of mind (the understanding that other people are independent beings with their own thoughts and feelings). This, coupled with a short-fuse temper, is what leads the Scumbag to commit most of his Scumbag acts. Take domestic violence as an example. Most people get angry at their significant others and may even want to hit them, but they realize A) Hitting a woman is Morally Wrong; B) Hitting a woman may lead to Legal Consequences; and C) If you hit This Woman it might Damage Your Relationship. These thoughts prevent you from acting on your violent thoughts or feelings. For the Scumbag the thought “Lurlene make Snake angry” is unrestrained by such abstract ideas and so Snake commences punching the object of his dissatisfaction. He may feel bad about it once his anger has passed, he may promise not to do it again (after all why would he hurt Nice Lurlene who he loves, a creature he does not connect to Mean Lurlene who tells him to stop drinking, since Scumbags have a poor sense of object permanence.) he may face Serious Consequences, but it doesn’t matter. Next time Lurlene angers him he will go right back to it because he Lives-In-The-Moment and in the moment he is angry. Grrr, Snake Smash!

This inability to reason governs the rest of the Scumbag’s life. He knows he has a crappy old car but is shocked when it breaks down and finds he has made no alternative plan to get to work. He is aware of a Court Date but blows it off because off-roading would be more pleasurable. He is then surprised when the cops show up and act like it was a Big Deal. In many ways the Scumbag, despite having some language skills and tool use capacity, is more animal than man. He goes drunk driving in an area he knows is patrolled by cops, is belligerent when ticketed, goes to jail for assault, and gets back out only to go drunk driving in a cop-infested area again. (An aside: Cops are often high-functioning Scumbags themselves, known as High Proles. See infra.)

These traits also make the Scumbag Clique difficult for outsiders to understand. A Scumbag will sleep with his friend’s girlfriend and be confused when said friend is angry at him afterwards. They will engage in violent altercations with people and expect no bad feelings (even though Scumbags can hold an Irrational Grudge against people they perceive as having harmed them). Scumbags are volatile and unpredictable. You can be their best friend one moment and worst enemy the next, then best friend against before the end of the night.

Physical: Scumbag is a strong Clique, after Jocks, Jockgineers, and Medical Doctors. Their strength comes from a combination of the physical labor they do (even Scumbags who do not have paying jobs spend their time doing physical activities like wrenching on cars or poorly building illegal additions to their dwellings) and a genetic propensity towards strength. This strength can be amplified and paired with surprising speed when the Scumbag is angered, since they have the highest adrenal response of any clique. In appearance the Scumbag is likely to wear worn and threadbare clothes with stains and patches, have a generally unkempt appearance and many tattoos (this is because they do not understand the future and so have no compunction against altering their appearance permanently.) The Scumbag will often smell of sweat, motor oil, and cigarettes, with the addition of alcohol at night. Showering regularly is discouraged in the Scumbag community.

Vocations: Scumbags do not fear danger so employers favor them for dangerous jobs such as unskilled construction, trucking and other transportation, and similar jobs. They also have a high tolerance for the disgusting, so many sanitation workers and janitors are Scumbag Clique. The Scumbag is poorly suited for any job that requires punctuality or high-order reasoning. Scumbags can also be politicians from areas that demand their politicians have low intelligence and education.

Peak: Scumbags tend to peak in their late teens/early 20s before their reckless lifestyle catches up with them. There is often another, smaller, peak in their 40s when they get to see their children follow in their Scumbag footsteps. Nothing makes a Scumbag Dad prouder than picking up his Scumbag kid from the jail on a charge of public intoxication or statutory rape. Scumbags are able to live vicariously through their children, but only if they are also Scumbags, since Scumbags have no interest in the activities of other Cliques.

JDU Encounters:  Most JDU members primarily encounter Scumbags from the safety of the Internet. Scumbags need a lot of Legal Services, often in criminal and family law contexts. They make Horrible Clients for Lawyers (who themselves tend to be Liberal Artists, Losers [Nerds and Liberal Artistry are mutually exclusive], or Preps), as their lack of forward-thinking ability and inability to take Advice often will hamstring their cases, and they will Take It Out on the Lawyer.

Scumbags represent Human/Feral instinct, and are almost entirely unaware or acknowledging of other Cliques. Scumbag wouldn’t attend a dinner party of Medical Doctors and Liberal Artists if God* invited him.


ScumJock: This is a fairly common hybrid and many Scumbags can appear to be Jocks in their youth due to their superior strength. The ScumJock is distinguished from the pure Scumbag by his athletic superiority and his possession of some level of motivation and understanding of delayed gratification (see working out/practice.) He is differentiated from the pure Jock by his tendency to get into trouble and lack of foresight. The athlete who gets face tattoos, drives drunk on a suspended license before the big game, or is in constant trouble with the law is likely a ScumJock hybrid.

Fratbag: The prototypical Prep/Scumbag hybrid belongs to a fraternity at a State School where he is failing out. He is distinguished by his Bad Grades, lack of understanding of social cues at a Prep Level, and lack of foresight in his sexual assaults. A Prep predator carefully plans his rapes and grooms his victims while a Fratbag just clumsily attacks, leaving lots of evidence and leading to trouble for him and his Frat. Fratbags can get jobs in politics but often derail themselves through scandals caused by their failure to think ahead.

Scumgineer: Rarest of the Scumbag hybrids because engineering generally requires at least some level of abstract reasoning ability. Occasionally a Scumbag savant will have this ability in one area but not in another or a person from a Scumbag family will have other Scumbag traits but also ability to reason. Scumgineers are rare but have great value to employers in Scumbag heavy businesses who need engineering done. It’s all well and good to design your oil rig back in a Cushy Office in Houston but who is going to go implement your plan on the high seas, surrounded by convicts and other Scumbags? The Scumgineer comes to the rescue. His Scumbag side allows him to mesh with the Scumbag clique working on the rig while he does your engineering labor. He also has the typical Scumbag’s lack of fear of danger, so his danger premium is relatively low. Scumgineers can also be found in other Engineering Jobs but they are wasting their value there and often wash out quickly, unable to mesh with the Nerds. If you ever meet a Young Scumgineer do the world a favor and guide him to Field Work where he will be happy and productive.

Loser Scumbag: The lowest of the low. These are Scumbags who are rejected by their own Scumbag Clique, such as Serial sex offenders, Career Criminals (themselves a Distinct sub-Clique) who consistently get caught, perpetually unemployed Mechanics with missing fingers etc. A Loser Scumbag is a dangerous person and should be avoided.

Ascended Scumbags: The High Prole. Certain Scumbags manage to gain a level of abstract thinking later in life. They become high Proles and can do more complex work than the average Scumbag. Tradesmen are often ascended Scumbags, as are Good Mechanics, many police and firemen, and effective blue collar managers (Many blue-collar managers are just normal Scumbags because you need someone who can communicate with the Scumbag rank and file and who will work in an office.) High Proles never lack for work and can make 6 figures or more, especially if they go into business for themselves.


  • Like, 90% of rural America are Scumbags. Their phenotypes are SO obvious. This has been generations in the making. (theimmigrant, 8/22/13)


  • When you go to a Scumbag area of town, you always know it because it’s full of Scumbags, and they’ll do Scumbag things. Like, when you enter a Scumbag neighborhood, they all just stop what they’re doing and stare at you. Not in a way that makes you think they’re going to jump you or anything. But then they just sort of stare at you until you go away, like they’ve never seen a non-Scumbag before. Either that or they’ll quickly disperse or run inside, like you’re the po-po or something, and I guess they assume that it doesn’t seem stranger or more suspicious that they’re running inside abruptly instead of just continuing to mind their business.
  • Also, Scumbags drive big trucks that make lots of noise, and they wear clothes that are supposed to be considered “edgy.” Scumbag women dress like skanks when they’re young, but usually have three kids with three different guys by age 21, two of whom were fathered by Scumbags, and one of whom is a mixed race kid because the girl had to find out if black guys really do have bigger dicks. I get the feeling that Scumbag women are easy, kind of like Hipster women, but in both cases, you have to be in the right Clique to fuck them. So the Scumbag version of ****head probably pulls mad ass among the Scumbag girls.
  • Scumbags are guys that eat fried bologna sandwiches in Richmond. (Exnite)
  • Sugar packets are like catnip for Scumbags. (Cleverloginname, 9/18/13)
  • If you ever want to know anything about the party scene anywhere, just ask a local Scumbag or Scumbaguette. Scumbags always know about the party scene because Scumbags don’t foolishly spend their lives thinking about liberal arts, trying to keep up with the Joneses, or Engineering things. Your average Scumbag starts partying at like age 13, and keeps doing it as long as physically possible.Scumbags have jobs that require punching a clock and doing routine tasks like moving things or lifting things that don’t require taking work home with them or working past shift change. And even if they do, they get paid “overtime,” which gives them more money to spend on partying. Scumbags will routinely say things like, “I go out 5 nights a week,” though this is only like one week out of the month, right after they get paid, at which point they use their entire paycheck on going out, and don’t have any more money until the First, or until they fix someone’s car or something. The only time Scumbags don’t go out is when they’re broke, they have too many kids, or when they accumulate so many DUIs that they are disallowed from driving anywhere other than to or from work by law. (Keithd, 9/14/13)
  • Scumbags get laid constantly by all sorts of women; they do that because they are feral. They operate totally on instinct and never think about the consequences. Losers have lost this innate instinct, replacing it with silly, useless concepts like what constitutes a social construct. They only get laid whenever a unicorn graces their presence. (Onefortheteam, 9/14/13)
  • Losers have it the hardest though. They are the most cerebral of Cliques when it comes to women, and they usually have to get really drunk to regain any of their feral instincts or spontaneity. (Wily, 9/14/13)
  • If you ever want to know anything about the party scene anywhere, just ask a local Scumbag or Scumbaguette. Scumbags always know about the party scene because Scumbags don’t foolishly spend their lives thinking about liberal arts, trying to keep up with the Joneses, or Engineering things. Your average Scumbag starts partying at like age 13, and keeps doing it as long as physically possible.Scumbags have jobs that require punching a clock and doing routine tasks like moving things or lifting things that don’t require taking work home with them or working past shift change. And even if they do, they get paid “overtime,” which gives them more money to spend on partying. Scumbags will routinely say things like, “I go out 5 nights a week,” though this is only like one week out of the month, right after they get paid, at which point they use their entire paycheck on going out, and don’t have any more money until the First, or until they fix someone’s car or something. The only time Scumbags don’t go out is when they’re broke, they have too many kids, or when they accumulate so many DUIs that they are disallowed from driving anywhere other than to or from work by law. (Keithd, 9/14/13)
  • Scumbags are like the cockroaches of the human race. If class warfare actually broke out Losers, Preps, Jocks, and Nerds could all slaughter each other till extermination, and Scumbags will still survive, despite their apparent inability to plan beyond 5 minutes. Truth be told, Scumbags would be humanity’s only hope for survival. They go and we’re all doomed. Do you know how to build a house where the roof doesn’t leak? A Scumbag does, even if he hasn’t been taught. Some shit is just high level feral. (Onefortheteam, 9/14/13)
  • Scumbags don’t know how to build a home in its totality. But thanks to division of labor, a team of Scumbags, led by a Jock or Prep, can implement the Nerd’s design. (Anotherjd, 9/14/13)
  • Scumbags are the very essence of America. While Preps were sitting pretty in East Coast cities or plantation houses, Scotch-Irish Scumbags were out there killing Indians, clearing land, and planting fields. Scumbags won the War of 1812, led in the Battle of New Orleans by Andrew Jackson, the greatest Scumbag in American history. Scumbags won the Mexican War; otherwise Themmigrant’s hometown would be Ciudad de Carson.

The decline of America can be directly attributed to the ascent of the Loser. Preps, like the poor, will always be with us; every nation will have a ruling class, they’re almost irrelevant. We sent the Scumbags’ jobs overseas and told their kids they were worthless without a Liberal Arts degree. We know how that’s been working out. (Ellellou, 9/14/13)

  • The Scumbags are doing just fine, thank you very much. It’s the sons and daughters of boomer liberal artists who worked as a middle manager at Chrysler for forty years pushing paper who are the ones that are fucked up. If Scumbags find their way to “college” it’s usually to a community college to get a welding or HVAC certificate.(Sparky, 9/14/13)
  • Nerds and Preps just understand things in the abstract. Give a Nerd a hammer and nails and somehow he’ll manage to nail his hand to the shingle of a roof and hang helpless until a Scumbag bails him out. Well it depends, in today’s day of division of labor the Scumbag is more dependent on the Prep’s ability to plan on the macro level. Revert to sticks and stones and Scumbags are the cornerstone of survival. (Onefortheteam, 9/14/13)
  • Scumbags are the backbone of this country and probably all countries. Preps can’t fix a water heater or really do anything other than paper work. Scumbags could harness perpetual motion in a few days with the right budget. NASA shouldn’t be hiring Nerds, they should be hiring Scumbags.

Losers are thinking about things while Scumbags are doing things. The Loser secretly envies the Scumbag. The Loser has Expectations which he knows he can never fulfill, and the Scumbag has no Expectations and is free to move about life as he pleases, often very spontaneously. In high school the Scumbag is working on cars and fucking the girl next door, while the Loser is thinking about liberal arts and jerking off. The only thing Losers and Scumbags have in common is wearing nametags to work. Even then the Scumbag’s nametag is sewn on or painted on a truck cab, and the Loser’s is clipped on. (Unemployedalcoholic, 9/15/13)



  1. What Nerds and Scumbags have in Common (Keithd, 8/27 & 29/13)

Neither of them is self-aware.

Nerds, despite Hollywood constantly conflating them with Losers, are essentially walking brains. They are brains with a vestigial body. They care about Engineering and nothing else. (Note: video games and science fiction are subsets of Engineering).

Have you ever met a Nerd Woman? If so, you’ll realize that she has no clue how to do basic, make-herself-look-hot things that other members of the Woman Clique learn to do at like age 14. She also lacks natural sexual charisma, even if she is proportioned correctly or has great facial symmetry. She’ll walk around wearing frumpy sweatshirts even if she has perky c-cups that are begging to be shown off.

The Scumbag, similarly, lacks self-awareness, but for the opposite reason — the Scumbag is instinct-driven and has not developed higher order intellectual capabilities, like reasoning, understanding cause-and-effect, or impulse control. This leads Scumbags to be as close to nature as a human can get.


Scumbag Women are inherently sexual. Scumbag men are more driven to embrace violence than any other men, and violence is the means by which you survive in nature.

The lack of self-awareness on both the part of the Nerd and Scumbag makes them oddly contented Cliques. Contrast both with the Loser, whose heightened, almost super self-awareness ensures that he will feel the tinge of ignominy throughout his pitiful Loserly existence.


Losers look down on Scumbags’ lack of self-awareness, while Scumbags think Losers are educated idiots, recognizing that many Losers have Good IQs and Bad instincts, but because they are Scumbags, they are unable to articulate it that way or to understand it. So Scumbags will just decide that Losers are “dumbasses” and pussies and will Not Respect them. Also, Losers are incapable of doing any type of Scumbag work without fucking things up. This adds to the Scumbags’ disdain for Losers, who can study liberal arts but who can’t seem to mop a floor properly.


Losers loathe and fear Scumbags more than any other Clique, because of their virile strength, violent natures, and freedom to say whatever is on their minds. Altercations with Scumbags never end well unless you can project strength and win through intimidation. (Keithd, 8/27 & 29/13)

In fact, I think a major reason why Losers try so hard to get into white collar fields is to avoid Scumbags. I mean, Jocks are bad enough, but at least educated Jocks are sometimes protective of Losers because of some shared educational experiences (went to college together, etc.) and because Jocks sometimes feel magnanimous.  There’s like, no shared experiences between Losers and Scumbags, except that often neither makes a lot of money. Actually, this fact makes their relations worse. A low desk-monkey Loser looks down on a Scumbag for not have a BA and knowing facts; while the Scumbag looks down on the Loser for not being manly and knowing how to do things. 
(Wily, 8/29/13)

This is why High Losers understand that the only path to success for a Loser is to either find a non-Loser benefactor, sort of like Francescadi-whatshername did by marrying her Jock husband, or to basically go full Nietzsche and make an amoral Will to Power one’s sole goal in life. (Theimmigrant, 9/18/13)

High Losers tend to be sociopaths who victimize other Losers, their only potential target. (Vespucius, 9/18/13)

High Losers can fit in executive board meetings. (Causanortis, 9/20/13)

I suppose high Loser is a Loser that by sheer luck becomes immensely successful

(Pharmstudent, 9/20/13)

Theimmigrant is correct. A Loser can be rich. Clique Theory does not predict wealth, so much as it predicts how members of different Cliques handle life’s vagaries, as well as its more predictable moments. When a Loser becomes rich, he will be Bad at being rich. He may become an unpleasant miser, or he may be a dislikable asshole, or he may try to do Good Things with his wealth, but end up being ineffective at it. Whatever he does with his wealth, he will suck at it.

For a stylized version of what a rich Loser is like, please see the end scene of Office Space in which Milton awkwardly hangs out at a beach resort. The worst thing about being a Loser is believing that everything that happens around you has something to do with you, when in fact No One Cares about you or anything you are doing. Understanding this fact takes the sting out of being a Loser. (Abazungu, 10/1 & 14/13)

Many Losers and Scumbags die like 30 seconds after hitting old age. “Brief illness” = heart attack. Of course. They can’t get a Top Disease, so they pull a Cheney. (Theimmigrant, 10/3/13)

Cheney is a Loser, but maybe not a High Loser. Although he became very powerful I think he may experience very low life satisfaction and happiness, in which case he is not an Ascended form of anything. (Myth, 10/11/13)

Only Losers can be comedians. (Theimmigrant, 9/21/13)


6) Educating the Cliques              (OP believed to be Keithd)


An important topic that comes up is “How to Raise One’s Child by Clique”. If you bought into the “high school doesn’t matter”, then B.S.! Parents, teachers, and the media aren’t helping. They’ve all colluded in spreading the lie that Cliques don’t matter, or don’t exist in adulthood. How hypocritical of adults to think that Cliques are immature or quaint when they are the very foundation of our society.


Imagine if a study were done on the average earnings by Clique, broken out by educational level. A Jock dropout would probably beat most Loser PhDs.


Prep: Buy them Abercrombie, DO NOT buy them **** from JC Penney, drive them everywhere, buy them a BMW ASAP, enroll them in SAT Prep, if they suck at sports, enroll them in sports that cost money and thus limit competition e.g. hockey, golf. If they are physically weak, focus on having them participate in the “soft” sports like golf, tennis, handball etc. which can be useful in closing multi-billion dollar leveraged buy-out deals in the future. Find online paid services to write their term papers and paid imposters to take their standardized tests, and even go to class for them. Make sure they maintain at least a “Gentlemen’s “C” average during undergrad years by making a substantial endowment to the University Board of Trustees. Get them a high grade hooker no later than age 16.


Jock: Enroll them in Sports, make brownies for Scouts. Buy weightlifting equipment and secure the required uniforms. Make them sleep in the uniform, next to their football, baseball bat etc. Inculcate them with the history of sports. Hire private coaches. Make them practice relentlessly Hire faux students to go to class for them so they get their 10,000 hours in by the time they go to college. Get them a low grade hooker no later than age 16.


Nerd: Buy them an Atari with BASIC installed and make them teach themselves BASIC. Enroll them in online virtual reality worlds. Buy them Flash drives and Flash costumes and make them watch “The Big Bang Theory” every night. Purchase any and all new technology gadgets but throw away the instruction book so they are forced to figure it out for themselves. Purchase books on masturbation.


Loser: Teach them that God exists, and then mock them for their morality when they are 12, encourage them to suck at sports, look the other way with their academics, buy them Bad Clothes, pressure them to go to college and look the other way when they foolishly major in liberal arts, passive-aggressively show your disappointment and disapproval with them by, say, randomly speaking highly of Engineers, do not buy them a car, do not help pay for college (maybe, like, books for the first year, or help with the FAFSA, but that’s IT). Expose them to porno and JDU/OT. Talk up Law School no matter what their academic credentials are.


Hot Girl: Do not molest them, even though they’re hot, tell them that “SAT scores measure just one kind of intelligence.” Provide an unlimited budget for clothes and cosmetics.


Fat Girl: Call them fat, start force feeding liberalism and Feminism, they’re going to need it.


Ugly girl: Arrange a marriage with an Engineer


Scumbag: Beat them relentlessly. They will never behave, ever, without a strong deterrent, even as adults. Beat the **** out of them, this is how you raise Scumbags and why there is a proud tradition of beatings in the Scumbag Clique. Buy them a 1988 Camaro the day they turn 16 if you haven’t already abandoned your family. Provide trade school training or a trip to the nearest Armed Forces recruiting office.



  1. Clique Math?

Game theory has Nash equilibrium (, thus Clique Theory obviously has Wily Equilibrium. I named it after Wily because it involves math and he’s Asian. I’m sure as hell wasn’t going to name it after Brokenface. Wily, please work out the math behind this in a long-form post. (Cavebro (Oct 7, 2013 – 10:29 pm)

“Stay in Your Lane” is, essentially, the clique Nash Equilibrium. (Thecharmingmresq, 10/7/13)

Thank you for your contribution to the literature. (Cavebro, 10/7/13)


Most of what I know about the Nash equilibrium is from A Beautiful Mind. It’s reached when you pick the best choice for yourself GIVEN knowledge of the strategies of the other players. So the example used in the movie is, there’s a hot girl, an average girl, and an ugly girl – you should go for the average girl, because you know the hot girl will receive the most attention.
ANYWAY. The Wily Equilibrium is as follows:


Where f(x) = pleasure in life, f is the Clique Theory function, x is coolness, P is the amount of coolness needed to be a Prep:

If  x < P
then: lim f(x), x -> 0 = 0
and lim f(x), x -> P = 0

Basically, it’s a bell curve or cosine curve. If you aren’t cool at all, life sucks, and if you’re a Loser, trying to be as cool as Prep also makes your life suck. That’s the best I could do. QED. (Wily, 10/7/13)


I’m so fucking proud of you right now I’m crying. (Cavebro, 10/7/13)


I may have to re-evaluate your Clique status, Wily Coyote. Only a Nerd would try to turn Clique Theory into math equations. (Exnite, 10/ 7/13)


Excellent post. (Cavebro, 10/10/13)


As Wily has just demonstrated, attorneys are terrible at math. But it turns out there IS a branch of “Spectral Graph Theory” in High Mathematics where “Clique” has been characterized. This has absolutely NOTHING to do with JDU Clique Theory, but who’s gonna know that except Nerds? (Exnite 10/8/13)





  2. Portrait of an Anonymous Loser as a Young Man
  3. Paul of Tarsus, Loser Who Becomes Ascended Loser
  4. Peter of “Office Space”, Loser who becomes an Ascended Loser
  5. President Bill Clinton, Loser, Scumbag, or what?
  6. Abraham Lincoln, Jockengineer
  7. Clique Assessment of Gov. Chris Christie
  8. Loser Georgecostanza
  9. Woman Clique Priorities
  10. At What Ages Do the Respective Cliques Peak?
  11. Lifespans of the Cliques
  12. Losers v. Nerds: GPA    
  13. Cliques and Academia
  14. Clique Theory and the Law School Scam
  15. Law School by Clique
  16. Not Caring ® by Clique
  17. Lane v. Clique
  18. Holiday Plans by Clique
  19. Cliques in the Looney-Bin






Case Study 1. Portrait of an Anonymous Loser as a Young Man (Friendlybum)


Hypothesis: The essential characteristics of the Cliqueless Loser are struggle and disappointment.


During very young childhood a child’s peers are defined by their parents and caretakers, so that other children are often forced to associate with a Cliqueless Loser during playdates and park activities and while they wish to eject him from their group, sensing his Cliqueless nature, they cannot because their caretakers encourage them to “share” and “be social” in Preparation for their lives as members of a Clique where they will look out for and aid their fellow Clique members.


The Loser thus does not become aware of his Loser status in its true form until the age when children get to select their own playmates and social peers. In Third grade he expects that Sally Jenkins, whose Nerd mom is friends with HIS Nerd mom, will invite him to her birthday party along with the rest of the class only to find that no invitation is forthcoming and when he asks Sally about it she openly mocks him to the great amusement of all others in the area. He is hurt and disappointed but believes this to be an anomaly in his life and is disappointed again when he does not receive an invitation from Brad or Jerry, and when Mike’s mom forces Mike to invite him he finds himself shunned and alone while the others play.


The Loser buries himself in media and goes to adults for help where he receives the same message, things are tough now but you will grow out of it. The third grade Loser is the 6th grade winner. He believes this for a time, and does see others move up and down in the social strata, but ultimately, if he is smart, he figures out to his crushing disappointment that some are stuck at the bottom and cannot rise no matter their efforts. He holds out hope for reinventing himself in high school and then in college but fails miserably both times because of his natural limitations and the nature of the Cliques.


He will struggle to find a place and be disappointed. He will struggle to achieve like a Jock or a Nerd and be disappointed when he inevitably fails. He will struggle to be carefree and easygoing like a Scumbag but his Loser nature will leave him anxious and, of course, disappointed by his failure.


For the rest of his life, then, the Loser continues futilely to chase a dream he can never reach. Things never come easily to him because he has no lane to stay in. While the other Cliques find their stride the Loser attempts to emulate them to no success. The Nerd enjoys studying and finds it easy. The Loser must spend agonizing hours poring over books to get good grades only to find that they are not rewarded because it is not the grades that get the Nerd hired, the grades and the job are both mere side effects of his being a good Nerd. The Jock enjoys working out and sees significant results, while the Loser spends hateful mornings trying to get in shape only to tweak a muscle or break a bone, setting him back to square one. Even Scumbags can find their place, since they have the ability to ascend to High Prole and become a prosperous plumber or electrician and live a happy life. The Loser can also become a plumber, but he will be the plumber nobody else wants to work with and nobody wants to hire twice, eking out a pitiful plumber existence.


Every time the Loser tries to find a place or a lane he is smashed back out of it and back into his proper place. This leads to a life of failure and disappointment. Nothing comes easy, nothing is stable, and there is no sense of security or belonging.


The saddest thing is if a Loser impregnates a woman while masquerading as be-Cliqued. The child will either be another Loser or will be a Cliqued child that the Loser will pour all of his hopes and dreams into only to find himself rejected by the child when it matures (how many kids don’t visit or really acknowledge their Loser dad even though he tried his hardest to be a good father, while instead favoring their Nerd stepfather who they consider their ‘real dad’?) or his genes will express themselves in another Loser and he will have to experience the pain of vicarious disappointment and knowing the horrible fate that awaits his Loser son.


What must it be like for a Loser dad sitting alone in the bleachers watching his Loser son’s little league teammates taunt or ignore him? That must be very close to hell on earth.


Anyway, anyone can be poor or fat or unlucky but only the Loser can try his hardest every time and receive nothing but disappointment. He is a mule with a carrot dangled in front of his face by a rider on his back, walking ever forward but getting no cLoser to reward. He is a mole in whack a mole, always rising and being smashed back into place by the world. Yet he cannot accept his lot (no lane) so he must constantly be struggling and constantly be disappointed.


Study Discussion, Case 1


  • No. Most people are in Cliques. Also, not all Losers are Cliqueless. Some are in Loser Cliques like Goth, emo, and “Kids who suck who hang out together, and their only common bond is that they are Losers.” The Cliqueless Loser is the type who majors in liberal arts and goes to Law School, e.g. most of Qfora.


  • Age 12 seems to be the cutoff when adults Stop siding with the well behaved kid or kid with the best IQ, and start siding with the coolest kid in disputes between kids. I am CONVINCED that this is primal and instinctive. Sort of like, “this Loser kid sucks, and is just going to pass on his Loser genes if he does it all, so let’s give every advantage we can to the kid with the good phenotype, so that he will Win in life and make the species Better.” There’s just no way for a Loser NOT to Lose, because phenotype is so salient. If you LOOK like a Loser by middle school, you will ALWAYS be fighting an uphill battle with Life. (Ke1thd,  12/23/14)


  • The only way to succeed as a Loser is go to full sociopath. Remember the scene in Breaking Bad, where Gus Fring is being questioned by the DEA, and he Keeps a Straight Face While Lying, Doesn’t Give In To A Table Full of Jocks, etc? A normal Loser would CRUMBLE in that situation, because Losers feel guilty when interrogated whether they’ve done anything wrong or not. The assumption is that they are guilty just by virtue of being suspected by their Betters. The Only Way To Win for a Loser is to learn how human nature works and game it out amorally, thus becoming a High Loser. Though I can’t imagine ANY Loser, High or otherwise, NOT cringing when asked about their parents. (keithd, 12/26/14)






Losers never marry the girl next door.


medicalastronaut (Jan 4, 2016 – 10:55 pm)


Never ever, ever. The Loser goes on his first date at age 16 and a half. He picks up the girl not in a brand new Trans Am (Prep), a rebuilt Trans Am (Scumbag), or a Jeep with no doors (Jock), but in his grandmother’s old Corolla. He spends the entire time respecting the girl and doesn’t get laid, not understanding the end game since, being a Loser, it is his nature to misunderstand the nature of all human interaction. The Loser doesn’t lose his virginity until age 18, when his parents contract with a Liberal Arts college to arrange for the Loser’s forced integration with Loser Women inside of overpriced Soviet style architecture.

In my dorm freshmen year, the rooms were separated by Clique somehow. The A-Wing was for Losers and Liberal Artists. B-Wing was for Scumbags, and Drug Dealers, and C-Wing for Hot Girls and Jocks. The system itself decided where everyone would live and sleep without any conscious human input. Everyone in C-Wing went to frat parties or private parties, and used fake IDs to get into bars. Everyone in A-Wing went to the nastiest parties, usually in basements, often wandering around campus in big groups before finding one open to them, and paying to get in.

Losers also don’t bring a car to school freshman year, since being losers, they believe the propaganda that the campus is a Utopia where transportation isn’t needed. They walk enormous distances and take buses to Walmart at 5:00 PM on Saturday.

This is all due to the Loser’s upbringing by his parents and authority figures. When you are young you are force-fed misconceptions about life. For example that kindness is a virtue, women should be respected, people who assert themselves vigilantly and get what they want are assholes, physical labor is worse than death, and that if you follow all the rules and work hard you can have whatever you want. Then- if you believe and internalize all those things and act accordingly, you become a Loser Adult and live the rest of your life as such. If you instinctively ignore the rules and forget them and just do whatever you want, you ascend into one of the Cliques, get laid in high school, develop a jovial personality, and everyone respects you all the more for having not fallen into the trap. This is how the ranks of man are assembled. Loser parents are secretly ashamed of their Loser offspring for believing all the stupid nonsense they taught them in adolescence.


avalanchediode (Jan 4, 2016 – 11:00 pm)


“Loser parents are secretly ashamed of their Loser offspring for believing all the stupid nonsense they taught them in adolescence.”

Wouldn’t happen. Loser parents believe the stupid nonsense.



medicalastronaut (Jan 4, 2016 – 11:02 pm)


They believe it but nevertheless begrudge their offspring for believing it, often unconsciously. In Losers, massive psychological internal contradictions are normal.


theimmigrant (Jan 4, 2016 – 11:57 pm)


Credited. Credit to Kieth for “getting” this way before I did. Your OP is basically Kieth material imho.

The thing with me was I was always getting in trouble growing up for seemingly no reason. I broke the rules I guess, or at least the Loser version of the rules where everything is stricter. Losers basically can’t win even when they realise that most of what they’re told is flame. For a Loser to stay within society’s expectations of him is like balancing on a knife edge.


keithd (Jan 5, 2016 – 12:48 am)


Yep. This is all canon KeithD material here. I still remember my Loser Woman socially conservative yet fiscally liberal conservative Catholic grandmother’s reax when my brother told everyone that I went to a strip club in college. There was a touch of pride in her reaction, and almost a sense of relief that I wasn’t secretly gay and/or hope that I’d stop being a pu$$y and start getting laid.

The reality is that Loser adults, for reasons unknown to anyone, even to themselves, feel compelled to believe in things that they know are Not True, and then teach their kids these things, hoping the kids will rebel and shake off the shackle of the Loser, maybe even ascending to a Clique propre.



Case Study 2.  Saul of Tarsus, Loser Who Becomes Ascended Loser     (Keithd)


Saul of Tarsus was a Loser. He clearly understood liberal arts given his use of analogies to Mystery Religions in his writings. But he was nothing more than a tentmaker, possibly because he came from Scumbag roots. He also couldn’t get laid, a fact which he bragged about (he said he wasn’t married, and like, all men were married back then). After striking out at OCI, he went mad and became a “disciple” of Yeshua, cleverly modifying his work to sell to the Greco-Roman masses, and thus achieving the rank of High Loser.









Case Study 3. Peter of “Office Space”, Loser who becomes an Ascended Loser




Office Space is actually a movie about Clique Theory. Peter is a Cliqueless Loser who over thinks things, which prevents him from asking Jennifer Aniston out, or standing up to Lumbergh. He doesn’t even realize his own girlfriend is cheating on him, while his Scumbag neighbor, who is feral and operates according to instinct, does…


Peter: I get the feeling my girlfriend’s cheating on me.


Scumbag Neighbor: (nonchalantly) Yeah, I get that feeling too, man.


Once Peter undergoes hypnosis, he stops thinking and begins operating on instinct. Suddenly, his life turns around, because he stops calculating and just starts hunting. He asks Jennifer Aniston out, not in the neurotic, “creepy” way he would have before, but in a natural way, that disarmed her fight or flight instinct. His decision to just blow off work makes him seem rebellious, which people secretly like, which is why he gets promoted.


Essentially, Peter is a Loser who starts to Win at life because he sheds the primary psychological roadblock of the Loser, which is to actually believe it when your parents, teachers, and cartoon characters tell you that they want you to behave, believe in God, and think of other people, when what they actually mean is that they want you to rebel, think of yourself, and realize that God doesn’t exist.


Case Study 4. President Bill Clinton, Loser, Scumbag or What?  

(Onefortheteam, 9/1/13)


  • Bill Clinton is like High-High-Scumbag Prole, the likes of which only appears once   every couple of millennia. His IQ was so high it was simply enough to let him coast through life, yet he couldn’t resist screwing Monica Lewinsky when the opportunity presented itself (Scumbags have bad impulse control).
  • Take away 50 IQ points from Bill and he’s back at trailer parks, drinking natty lite, with multiple baby mamas.
  • Look at his brother Roger Clinton, arrested several times for drug possession and   attempt to sell. He’s also a drifter who occasionally sings (terribly) in dungy rock groups. A classic example of Scumbag DNA.




  • Clinton is tough to categorize. He has the popularity and success of a Prep, the upbringing and sexual proclivities of a Scumbag, and the liberal arts goals of a Loser. In his wonkiest moments, he is even a bit of Nerd.  His most salient traits, though, seem to be of a High Loser (goal of running politics) and Scumbag (fucking up his career and legacy with distasteful women).  (Wily, 8/31/13)


  • No, you pretty much nailed it. He shouldn’t have any Prep in him, though. Romney is                 a Prep. (Theimmigrant, 8/31/13)


Clinton is a Rhodes Scholar and obviously a high Prep! (Myth, 7/31/13)


  • Stop being Bad at Clique Theory. This assumes IQ correlates with the socioeconomic status of your parents, which it does NOT.  A Prep, by definition, comes from an upper middle income family or above. Bill Clinton comes from a Scumbag family, but his interest in liberal arts and his IQ put him in Loser territory. Wily’s above Post is credited. He’s a High Loser with Scumbag background and tendencies. (Keithd, 7/31/13)


Clinton is a High Scumbag. Hillary tried to pass him off as Prep, but the impeachment scandal clearly showed his failure to stay in his lane. A Prep or Jock would NEVER be humiliated like that by Clique-mates. Even the most die-hard skeptic need only to note Clinton’s undergraduate major in discerning his true Clique. Major is highly salient in determining Clique, especially in deceitful hybrids. (Phillybum, 7/31/13)


Bill Clinton = Liberal Arts = Loser/Scumbag.

Jimmy Carter = Engineering = Nerd

Romney = Econ =Prep


Clinton might be like a Scumbag because he was a man of the people, but he was obviously a Prep. You can’t be a Rhodes Scholar without being a Prep.


You might say that his IQ and his grasp of economics were Nerd-like, but he is not a Nerd because of his lack of antisocial tendencies and his leadership ability.


He is clearly a Prep during a time period of transition where the American public was fixated on his sex life and the Republicans were able to exploit this to impeach him because of the political capital that he was costing them by refuting their trickle-down economics/fight wars ideology by implementing sensible policies good for the nation and leading us into a period of prosperity. Science had advanced enough to allow DNA in semen to constitute substantial evidence, the House of Representatives was full of bitter Republicans, and the American public was still obsessed with notions of family values and fairness enough to think that it was some kind of breach of duty to them personally that their president was able to get away with infidelity.


There are gazillions of horndog Preps, if you try to argue that somebody’s label within Clique Theory is predictive of their sexual proclivities, you’re going to be in a world of uncertainty because of the broad diversity in terms of what people consider to be sexually attractive. Not only is there a dearth of evidence on the topic since sex happens in private, but also how do we know that LBJ didn’t have a fetish for blowing monkeys? How do we know that JFK wasn’t turned on by Jew semen? Because he was a Prep? That’s begging the question. (Myth 8/1/13)


  • They have everything to do with phenotype and genotype. Everything. (theimmigrant, 5/4/13)


“Loser” is a term of art. Obviously, as president, he climbed to the highest level of success. But, deep down, a Loser is a Loser and a Scumbag a Scumbag.  It’s an innate characteristic.  (Anotherjd 9/1/13)


  • You have failed to grasp Clique Theory. (Theimmigrant)


  • No, onefortheteam is correct. Remember the rookie mistake of assuming that career path or professional accomplishments define Clique. No they don’t. Genotype and phenotype define Clique. Personal and professional accomplishments are then the result of your Clique, with acts of will only able to determine whether you end up in High or Low status within your Clique. Also, don’t forget Clique Hybrids. Clinton was a Scumbag/Loser hybrid, but like onefortheteam said, he was in the High, HIGH category of each, like, the most ascended form possible.

(Keithd, 9/1/13)


As for Bubba, the Scumbag in him tempered the tendency for mental illness and the Loser part was simply so ascended that his ability to Win could not be repressed. There is also the fact that he’s from the middle of nowhere. Cliques first started in the established eastern cities and outlying suburbs before spreading to the middle of nowhere. He was an early Boomer, and boomers were basically the first generation to have Cliques. Take a look at Ron Reagan – That is a Cliqueless president. LBJ, Teddy Roosevelt – nary a Clique.



  • Stop labeling the presidents of the United States as Losers!                   (Myth)


One does not gain the acceptance of their peers and negotiate themselves into the top executive position in the nation without being anything other than a winner.


A few weeks ago you guys were stretching to find an instance of a “Loserxecutive.” Now you have labeled Clinton and Jefferson as Losers.


You can’t observe what’s going on deep down. The fact that he climbed to the highest level of success is evidence that he is a winner. (Myth, 8/1/13)


  • Preps do not get impeached for screwing an intern.  (Phillybum, 8/1/13)


  • Sure they do. Getting impeached is a function of a majority of the House of Representatives being Republicans, and not a function of Bill Clinton’s “innate characteristics.” (Myth, 8/1/13)


  • Preps don’t screw Paula Jones and get sued. A Prep wouldn’t look twice at trailer trash. QED.


  • The totality of the evidence concerning whether or not Bill Clinton got sued or screwed Paula Jones is only a scintilla of evidence relevant to the inquiry of  determining his Clique.


The great weight of the evidence consists in the fact that he led the nation into its greatest period of prosperity and sensible policies during the lifetimes of any non-boomer.


You can try to label a great man a Loser on the pretext that he got impeached but to me the inquiry into his impeachment is largely irrelevant, and as I said previously, not a function of what is “deep down” inside of him but instead was largely determined by circumstances in the environment, the time and place in which the events occurred. (Myth 8/1/13)


You’re now discounting the post-undergraduate education of individuals like Clinton, who studied econ at Oxford, and so would be like Romney, who is a Prep, if he had made it his undergrad major at Georgetown. However, according to your proposed logic, since Clinton got a Rhodes scholarship and went to Oxford to study econ instead of majoring in econ at Georgetown, he’s not a Prep… I reiterate that anyone who gets a Rhodes scholarship is almost undoubtedly a Prep with Nerd-like IQ.


  • If nothing else, he is a DRIVEN man. I liken him in some ways to LBJ for that reason. The Scumbaggishness comes in I believe due to his propensity to feed his appetites and appease his at-the-moment instinctive wants. (Thedetroiter, 8/ 1/13)



  • You have Clinton pinned all wrong. To recapitulate:Georgetown undergrad = Prep
    Rhodes Scholar = Prep
    Led the nation into prosperity = not a Loser
    Impeachment = red herring, Americans are obsessed with sex
    Bohemian grove = not a Loser
    Sense of humor/funny = not a Loser
    In-depth knowledge of economics = Nerd-like
    Too well-liked/popular to be a Loser, even a Cliqued Loser
    Respected by more than 50% of people in the country = not a Loser
    Loved = not a Loser
    Fucked Monica = player, not necessarily a Scumbag, although regarded as a Scumbag by women Clique.

(Myth, 8/18/13)
















Case Study 5. Abraham Lincoln, Jockengineer                  (exnite, 8/16/13)



Explain this counter example: Abraham Lincoln. He came from non-Prep/Scumbag background. He failed at many endeavors prior to becoming President. He was lanky and ugly. Then he became the best President in our history. (Wily, 8/16/13)


  • Intimidation. He was clearly a High Loser with a ScumJock bend (very strong, farmer). Clearly a Loser because his Dad hated him and insulted him in front of people. (The immigrant, 8/16/13)

You’re slipping a little, both of you. Lincoln was actually a classic Jockengineer. He was a 6′ 4″ undefeated wrestler in his youth who routinely pummeled frontier Scumbags. And he was an amateur engineer who mastered Euclid on his own, loved nothing better than to inspect the latest engineering and naval projects around Washington, and even put in for a patent on a dredging system, I think it was, that he designed himself. He applied his formidable I.Q., problem solving skills and logic to the Law, and then to the foremost problem of his age: Abolition and the preservation of the Union. And he did it better than any of his Prep or Nerdexecutive peers, all of whom were Losers. As Myth says in a later post, he went on to transcend all Cliques. (Exnite, 8/16/13)


I don’t think that qualifies as Jock – you sort of need an actual sport, and the culture around it, to make someone a Jock. In fact, I don’t think Jocks existed back in the 19th century, for two reasons: sports didn’t exist; and, everyone was physically active, because most people were farmers or laborers.  So basically, in Lincoln’s world there were only Preps, Nerds, Losers, and Scumbags. Lincoln was definitely not a Prep; he had some Nerd tendencies with his obsession with military weapons, etc.; he came from a Scumbag background; but his most salient qualities were his striving for leadership, superb political skill, and opposition to slavery – fundamentally Loser qualities. However, I disagree with keithd’s thesis that all Losers are bad leaders, because Lincoln was a Loser and he was an excellent President. Other than the part about him wrestling, nothing in your post describes a Jock. Most are things that a High Loser would do. Remember, a Loser can be successful in life – but still have a Loser phenotype.  Also, no one transcends Cliques. That’s heresy. (Wily, 8/16/13)

I think you’re wrong, Wily Coyote, go think about it some more. Everything I’ve said ideally describes Lincoln as both a Jock and an engineer.  They didn’t really have sports in Lincoln’s day. He was a thoroughgoing Jock though, splitting rails, cracking Scumbag heads, and physically dominating everyone around him. He would have been successful in any modern sport: football, basketball, boxing, cage fighting, etc. He was so strong and tough that his Dad rented him out to neighboring farmers to do their heavy lifting and other dirty work, which is why Lincoln developed such a unique hatred of slavery, as well as an understandable but more mundane hatred for his Dad, who was a worthless Scumbag. Google “Lincoln Wrestler” and “Lincoln Engineer” and you’ll see I am right. His early career failures had nothing to do with his genotype, or phenotype according to CT. Leadership and skill are not Loser qualities: it’s a LACK of leadership and skills that defines them and determines their fate. And some people DO transcend Cliques, heresy or no. I fully agree with Myth in this regard. (Exnite, 8/16/13 2013)

I’ll give you that he was an engineer – but so was every smart guy back in the day – it didn’t take much formal science education to invent things then. But, I disagree that Losers cannot be effective leaders. They are NOT natural leaders, like Preps are, but sometimes sheer ambition and willpower can allow them to be effective leaders. Usually a Loser’s leadership style includes intimidation, backdoor wheeling and dealing, long-planned out schemes, and threats and bribes, all of which Lincoln did to achieve his goals as President. (Wily, 8/16/13)


I agree that Losers can WILL themselves to be leaders; or more often, they are good enough actors to become front men for the Cliques that they serve. Corruption is the coin of the realm in politics today, and although Lincoln used every trick in the book, as you say, to get what he wanted in his day, he was not himself personally corrupt. That’s the difference between the “leadership” you get from a Loser like Nixon and the true leadership you get from a Jockengineer WINNER like Lincoln. (Exnite, 8/16/13)


Just because there were no organized sports in the backwoods frontier Kentucky and Illinois doesn’t mean Lincoln wasn’t a Jock. He was a giant of a man at 6’4 in an age where the average man stood 5’6 or 5’7. Lincoln was athletically gifted. He possessed the size, strength, coordination and reflexes that are the core of Jockdom. This imparted confidence and allowed him to stand up to others, which in turn nurtured the same kind of leadership traits in Lincoln we see in the Jock archetype today, which often leads to later success in business and politics. Unfortunately, our Jock leaders of today don’t have Lincoln’s brains. (Exnite, 8/16/13)



Case Study 6.  Clique Assessment of Gov. Chris Christie, Presidential Contender






He’s not a Prep. He’s obviously not a Jock. He’s not a Scumbag, so that leaves either a Nerd or Loser.

His Dad was an accountant, indicating a substantial component of Nerd characteristics in his genotype. He’s a wonkish know-it-all and has a motor mouth, both of which are classic Nerd traits. But if we use college attended as a proxy for I.Q., then he’s certainly no genius, having gone to Univ. of Delaware as an undergrad (Tier 2 per USN/WR) as a dumb-ass Poly Sci liberal artist; and Seton Hall Law School, a T-2 ranked #64. This initially slots Christie in as a Low Nerd.

But its Christie’s body type that is the dead giveaway. At 5’11, Christie is still morbidly obese, even 3 months after his recent “weight loss procedure”. Per Clique Theory:

“Clique body types are unalterable. The problem with Losers is that their metabolisms conspire to give them bad phenotypes. Diet/exercise will never completely do it for a Loser: he will always be Fat and/or Weak.”

In addition to having a Loser body type, politically speaking, Christie also has an undisciplined streak, another trait of a Loser, because in politics, discipline and loyalty are essential. And there is at least one other component of Christie’s genotype that also needs to be considered: his bullying personality, which is a characteristic of a Scumbag. But until now, this trait appears to be subordinate to the other two because Christie has Nerd and Loser written all over him.

Taken together, these results peg Christie as being a Low Nerd/Fat Loser, with a Scumbag bullying streak.

This is very bad news for our country if Christie becomes President because (again, per CT):


 1) Preps make the best Presidents;


2) a high Presidential I.Q., which Christie doesn’t have, is essential in allocating the economic largess/bribes to the right cliques after taking office;


3) Christie’s Loser traits may begin to dominate after the Peter Principle catches up with him, i.e. he gets promoted one too many times, becoming POTUS. The intense frustration of finally realizing he is in fact a Loser, and has been one all along, may trigger his Scumbag bullying traits to emerge as dominant, resulting in significant damage to our Republic as he begins his epic fail. As Keithd said earlier today, “When a Loser becomes a leader, you might as well just hide or leave the country.” (Exnite, 8/16/13)


Reply: Excellent Post (Theimmigrant, 8/16/13)


Liberal pig Chris Christie lost my vote when he signed the NJ ban on “Gay Conversion Therapy!

(Calebthepreacher 8/19/13)


Caleb, you just don’t get it. Christie isn’t a “liberal” as you claim. According to CT, he is a Low Nerd/Fat Loser with a Scumbag bullying streak. The law he just signed is a result of 1) his Nerdish compulsion to develop social engineering schemes to pander to URM’s and 2) his lifelong membership in Loserdom which has, as one of its defining characteristics, being undisciplined, both at the dinner table and in politics (where loyalty and discipline are essential). CT also says you should cast your vote for a Prep, because Preps make the best Presidents. Christie may be a lot of things, but he’s not a “liberal” and he definitely isn’t a Prep. (Exnite, 8/19/13)



Case Study 7: Loser GeorgeCostanza

“I’m considering putting in an application at Mckinsey working in their health care stuff (specifically applying to a program they have for PhD grads)… I’m hoping somebody here knows something about them.


  1. I don’t have an Ivy background, although they claim the recruit at my current public school… am I wasting my time?

  2. Is there any sort of work life balance at this place, or are you basically a slave?”

Additional Facts:


  • McKinsey recruits heavily from the Ivies. I think this is basically because many, many people can do the kind of work there, so they need some kind of arbitrary filtering process (having an Ivy pedigree also maintains the org’s status, and it can work as a proxy for work ethic… sometimes)
  • On to work: plan on traveling 4-5 days of the week, and working ur balls off (80 hrs? 100 hrs). From what I gather, it is expected to work for a few years and then to move to something else. Accordingly, cohorts are referred to by their hiring years, similarly to college or high school, although this refers to entrance to the program.
  • Unless you are an URM, it will be uber-difficult to make it, especially from a public school. I don’t think it matters how smart you are. This comes of particularly in interviews, where they are looking more for a kind of “person,” IMHO, and the questions often are weird things like, “how many pencils could be made from the forests in California?” I think they are meant to keep you on your toes and to see how you respond to pressure. In these instances, entitlement and bravado matter, which is a particularly good weeding mechanism for poor and working class kids.
  • Once you make it to McKinsey, it works as a badge of honor, and it will take you places. I have heard that Harvard biz grads are typically the three “m’s”: Mormons, military, and Mckinsey.  So 2 yrs of your life might not be a bad thing.



George’s Update:


“Thanks for the info… I’m still not even sure if I’ll put in for it. I just talked to a recruiter at a career fair I wasn’t even looking for a job at, and she was telling me about the fantastic business training I would get there. My long term goals involve my own startup or working in VC, and she told me that they have a program tailored to PhD graduates, so it didn’t sound like a bad idea… but I have better things to do than submit a resume to be tossed in the garbage if they aren’t interested in anybody besides Harvard or MIT grads.


Well my delusions of grandeur are over; I got a polite note from them today letting me know that I should consider putting a shot gun up my ass and pulling the trigger… I didn’t even get to the finalists to get into their advanced degree program. So yeah, apparently I suck.

I think the worst thing about their process is that they asked for so much information about you (my entire CV, not resume, test scores (ACT and GRE), information in your cover letter, application essay, and transcripts) that it feels like they took a complete view of everything I’ve accomplished in my life and said “pass”. It would almost be better if they just had preliminary information so that I could rationalize it away as them having a shitty hiring process. But no, these guys looked at me and took judgment on all of me and decided that I’m a disgrace.”


Clique Theory Analysis:


Hey, GeorgeCostanza, isn’t it funny how the rejection process basically makes you more of a Loser than someone who never even tried? Think about it. 95% of your high school graduating class probably has no idea what McKinsey is. The guy who wore wifebeaters, got in fights, and is now a truck driver making 4-figures a week, infinitely better off than so many lawyers…. This guy has NO FUCKING IDEA what McKinsey is or what they do, and he’s better off for it. Hell, the IBM commercials that come on during football games probably confuse the fuck out of him.


When I think of the word “Loser”, I don’t think of the guy making my pizza who has a DWI and stays at his uncle’s. I think of the naive striver who has suffered years of ignominious mediocrity. Ignominy that never ends, kills your spirit and physically shrinks your penis. Striving with no success to sustain you is so unbelievably precarious. Throwing up your hands and falling asleep on the fucking recliner while watching UFC is like heaven in comparison. Hat’s off to you. Remember, you will always be better than liberal arts majors – ESPECIALLY while you’re surfing the internet. (Theimmigrant)



Case Study 8.  Women and Cliques


Women are in the Woman Clique. Women can also be honorary members of other Cliques. Note: not all Women are in the Woman Clique. Also, lots of Generation Y men are in the Woman Clique. (Keithd, 8/1/13)


  • Women are a Clique of their own and hence outnumber and overwhelm any of the male Cliques, which are fragmented into Preps, Jocks, Nerds, etc. As the Men Cliques battle each other for dominance, they frequently cancel each other out. This gives the Woman Clique power in sheer numbers which means political and market leverage, which translates to clout and money. When added to their natural gifts of seduction, manipulation, intimidation and outright bitchiness, this explains female success in the Boardroom, the Womanexecutive pictures you’ve posted here, Hillary Clinton and Lesbo power. Men, look out! (Exnite 8/16/13)

Reply:  Excellent post. (Theimmigrant, 8/16/13)

Don’t get me wrong, women absolutely can have Cliques. But unlike male Cliques, each does not have unique pros and cons. Hot Girls are simply better at everything than Loser Girls, including liberal arts, Engineering, and relationships. Scumbag women have like no pros whatsoever – they can’t even build/fix shit like Scumbag men – and are thus wards of the state.

In essence, whereas the spirit of male Cliques is that of stratification/specialization into discrete hierarchical categories, Female Cliques are less about specialization and more about pure Quality. Part of this can be attributed to Women’s’ lack of propensity for things that the male Cliques specialize in, like High liberal arts, Engineering, and Sports. Without his liberal arts and 1340 SAT score, a male liberal artist is, sorry to say, Inferior in all aspects to a Jock or Prep, ceteris paribus. Without his Engineering, a Nerd is just a weak guy who is bad at sports, liberal arts, and talking to Women. These truths are self-evident.


Women have smaller brains (Ladies, don’t take offense, this is theimmigrant talking. Ed.)

There are like 30 everyday situations where they get mentally overloaded where a man would be fine. I am convinced that their thought process does not involve any thought, just instinct and intuition. (Theimmigrant, 8/13/13)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Hot Girls have better personalities, no mental illnesses, and higher IQs than uggos. Conversely, a Hot Jock Guy – unless he’s a full-on Jockengineer – will almost inevitably have gaps in his Engineering knowledge due to too much testosterone handicapping his prefrontal cortex. Even then, Jockgineers are never truly as good at Engineering as pure Engineers. By the same token, Preps, in spite of their superior GPAs, are never as good at liberal arts as Losers. We could explore this point further, but that would be beyond the scope of this post.  (Theimmigrant, 9/14/13)

There’s really no point in getting mad at Hot Girls. It’s like getting mad at Scumbags. Aside from their double standards, i.e., “do as I say, not as I do” attitude, they’re just doing what they are programmed to do. That whole level of consciousness that leads to independent thought and caring about liberal arts just doesn’t exist in either group. Hot Girls just sort of chug forward, consume the resources of others, and produce offspring with strong genotypes.

Moreover, Hot Girls do this in EVERY society, and they conform to the expectations of the society without ever questioning them. In 1950s Murica, Hot Girls were HAPPY to be Don Draper’s secretary wearing a short skirt or whatever. Ideas like feminism came from LOSER Women who got pwn3d during secretarial job interviews for “not being a good fit.” It’s better to be mad at sentient liberal artist Women who pwn Loser men in public. (keithd  9/25/14)

The relationship between looks and intelligence with Women is perfectly linear

Same as with dogs. (This is why we call them Bitches.) (Theimmigrant, 10/5/13)

As we have discussed previously, although Women DO have Cliques, they are not phenotypically specialized. Distinct, yes, specialized, no. There is simply a direct relationship between attractiveness and all positive qualities among the fairer/cunty) sex. There is no silver lining to being a Nerd girl because a hot Prep girl with a higher IQ is literally better at Engineering (she just doesn’t pursue it usually because it sucks and is boring). A Nerd girl is simply the genetic residue of what SHOULD have been a male Nerd, and sucks in real life because she is a black hole; a shell of a person, a vestige of what should have been. Loser Women are simply Bad people, they can’t even make good posts or observations like we can. They are mentally ill, bitterly fear their betters, and pwn their equals with ruthless manic passive-aggression. (Theimmigrant, 10/5/13)

Women are basically Nature’s eugenicists. They are instinctively driven to ensure that, when it comes to breeding and socialization (i.e., breeding), everyone stays within their lanes. That’s why Women constantly say that they want a guy who’s their “equal.” What they really mean is they want a compatible genotype and phenotype so that their kids will continue the Cliqueline. That’s why a Hot Nurse dates a Scumbag over a short Azn MedicalDoctor. And that’s also why Women attempt to herd the people who don’t “fit” out of the Higher Castes and into the wilderness. If they mate together there, it doesn’t Matter, and in fact, it is to be encouraged, so that they won’t corrupt the Better Cliquelines. (keithd 6/2/14)




Scumbaguettes and Hot Girls may be both be hot when they’re young, but a classy Hot Girl stays attractive past her prime. A Scumbaguette becomes either a methed-out skeleton covered with scabs or a 200 lb WalMart shopper with stretched out tattoos and a muffin top over her jean shorts. (Wily, 9/22/13)


Common Characteristics of Scumbaguettes

They are extremely fertile. Ejaculate within nine feet of one, and she’s pregnant.

Typically breed with their Scumbag counterparts, but it is quite common for them to land Loser to high Loser males who are as beta as beta can be. Make no mistake, while Scumbaguettes may seem unremarkable in the intelligence department, they will always out-game Losers because they posses highly evolved reptilian brains. Losers always lose. (Lucapacioli, 9/22/13)


Excellent post.  (Keithd, 9/22/13)

The vast majority of JDU men should stay in their lanes on this one. You guys will end up getting beat up by their Scumbag boyfriends or paying child support even if it’s not your kid. (Iiooiiooiioo, 9/22/13)

Women suck at arguing

Which is why they will only argue with a Loser. It doesn’t matter if they lose an argument to a Loser, because no one respects Losers anyways. And they’ll never admit defeat, even if they’ve had to resort to making emotional pleas like “you’re being unfair!” or attack the Loser’s arguing procedure like “you’re just talking over me, so I’m not going to keep talking to you!” Whatever argument they’re still making becomes a jumbled mess.

The Loser thinks he has won, but he hasn’t because if there was any chance he was going to get laid by the woman, it is now gone. Jocks and Preps never argue with women. They know to both placate and pretend the woman is correct or condescend by not entering into an argument with the woman.  (Theimmigrant, 10/21, 2013)

Women also realize that public opinion will deem them the winner in any argument with a Loser, regardless of the objective outcome of the argument. What’s really happening is that Losers are being punished for sucking as people. (Keithd, 10/21/13)

Excellent point, Number 1. A woman will turn the argument into a fight because then the Loser looks insecure by picking on the “weaker” woman. But women’s smaller brains and higher estrogen levels keep them from seeing this distinction. Emotion rules the day. (The1mmigrant, 10/21/13)

Why are so many Women strong adherents of religion?

Certainly, there are Madelyn Murray O’Hare’s out there, just as there are male seminary students. However, I would argue that a disproportionate percentage of women are strong believers in some sort of formalized religion compared to men. I would further argue that if women were not so strongly aligned, very few men would independently display the same level of religious commitment. I mean, seriously, if you want to meet women, go to church. And they mean it – church is NOT casual.

So, what gives? I’ve wondered if the predominant biological role that women play in procreation doesn’t lend itself to an existential attraction towards the “divine”, whilst men have no strong biological counterpart other than donating a set of chromosomes. Perhaps if men spent 40 weeks with new life growing inside them, they too would wax religious. As it stands, it appears that few men have time for God*, except for (sorry everybody) a large percentage of Gay men.
(Dupednontraditional, 10/7/13)

Church is for socializing. The church kisses women’s asses and everybody gets to sing, and bitch about their problems in form of “prayer requests.” Women get status from “walking with the Lord” and that gives them something to talk about. (Marlon, 10/7/13)

Women crave intense emotional experiences that most men don’t need or want. Religion provides the perfect platform for women to experience mystical, totally subjective religious feelings that can then be shared with others in Herd setting. Religion is perfect for them, but literally purgatory on Earth for many men who value objective reality and utilitarian solutions to life. Men tend to be loners too, except at sporting events. They don’t share their feelings, religious or otherwise, with anyone, except on JDU/OT. (Exnite, 10/7/13)

I think your statement isn’t accurate. Not in my experience. Maybe a higher percentage of women will pay lip service to religion or do what is necessary to keep up appearances if that’s required in their social sphere, but the strongest believers are men. And women never go through the “I’ve struggled with religion v. non-religion and come around to religion.” They either just go along with it or don’t care. Men are more likely to follow it or actively disbelieve. Just look at anotherjd and mcbeef going out of their way to criticize some guy’s out-of-context comments in a lighthearted interview.  Basically, admin’s smaller brain allusion is correct, but not in the way you might have been implying. (Karlfarbman, 10/7/13)

Generally agree, but I think marlon has the laser focus here. Church (by which I mean all modern organized religion) is social. Women are more social than men. Men are loners and don’t like to talk about their feelings. As early as the 18th century the Puritan (“Congregational”) churches were like already 2/3 female, because men couldn’t stand that public confessional stuff. Men’s heroes from the beginning of time were violent loners. Achilles, Ulysses, right up to John Wayne and Tony Montana. (Ellellou, 10/ 7/13)

…It makes sense women do it because it’s a ritualized social occasion and NOT going is judged harshly by their peers…Men have ample reasons, justifications, rationalizations for not going. The ones that do go are seen as kind of weird. Men are tired from work, hung over, just not feeling it, whatever and nobody can shame them for not going to church because they don’t give a shit. (Silk, 10/8/13)

Fundamentalism? That’s like, 7.5% of all males. The rest don’t care, men propre that is. Meanwhile, all women will pay lip service to religion, or say shit like, “I am a good person, I worship God* in my own way, therefore I will go to heaven*. No adult male, ever has acknowledged that heaven might exist, not even the Pope. (Theimmigrant, 10/7/13)

That’s basically exactly what I said, fucktard. You even copied my phrase “lip service.” I never gave percentages, just said that women aren’t strong adherents. (Karlfarbman, 10/ 7/13)



Woman Clique Priorities             (Exnite, 10/6/13)


Women’s brains are wired COMPLETELY differently. This has been true since Prehistoric times.


1) Procreate/Nest
2) Protect/Enable her Spawn
3) Pwn Higher Cliqued males for $$$$
4) Pwn other Women by looking hotter, getting better boyfriends, etc.
5) Emotional Drama**
6) Therapist or Self-Help for depression, mental illness etc.
7) Shopping expeditions for clothes, shoes, handbags, cosmetics, more shoes, etc.
8) Religious/spiritual crap
9) “Caring” (but only to feed their own self-esteem)
10) Liberal Arts (sappy love music, books from Starbucks, etc.)

Note that intellectual pursuits are not even on the list. Also note that sex is not on the list. Women trade sex for MONEY (see #3). For them, sex is merely a tactic.




Women multi-task all day long combining all of the above pursuits in different combinations while yakking or texting with their friends or Mothers, focusing almost exclusively on your innumerable faults.

** Women desire continuous, intense emotional experiences. If they can’t have good emotional experiences (love, romance, etc.), they’ll settle for bad emotional experiences (abuse, divorce etc.), because these are just as fulfilling and provide a platform for tears, screaming, etc. This is why guys ignoring them is the one thing they can’t tolerate.

All of the above activities are in support of one overriding goal: In short, to FOOL some gullible Man, and it’s EASY.

No Woman will ever admit that any of this is true, and will become furious if you bring it up in discussion. And no male will be able to remember any of this information for more than 90 seconds.


Critique of Women and Clique Theory


  • All of them are too preoccupied with gender as a social construct. Therefore they are Losers. (Wily, 8/1/13)
  • We are not categorizing them. Society has CLEARLY categorized them based on their genotype and phenotype. Nature provides a rough cut, and Society molds people into Cliques based on clearly defined, immutable traits. (Theimmigrant, 8/1/13)



doublefriedchicken (Oct 6, 2014 – 12:06 pm)

The Clique Outline is a classic. But it’s a little weak (and quite sexist) on the subject of women’s clique. I think we just don’t understand women enough to write about the various cliques for the fairer sex. Clique doesn’t seem to affect their mating choices (though probably their marriage choices) in a discernible way. Therefore, the male mind deems it inconsequential. But let’s not pretend we understand it just because we don’t care about it.

wily (Oct 6, 2014 – 12:10 pm)

This absolutely true, and somewhere in the outline I make a point that the field of Women Cliques remains unclear. Interpreting TI’s musings, it appears there are the respective cliques among women, but also the Women clique, to which not all women belong. Also, there’s Hot Girls, which may or may not be of the Women clique too.

So there’s:

Prep women
Jock women
Nerd women
Loser women
Women women
Hot Girls

doublefriedchicken (Oct 6, 2014 – 2:42 pm)

For women, it’s all about how they relate to other women. The outline touches on the Queen Bees and her minions. A women proper needs to sort it out. But it is a Catch-22, women don’t care about clique theory but they are the only ones who can sort it out.

exnite (Oct 6, 2014 – 2:49 pm)

OK, how about:

Hot Girls

This labeling scheme more accurately portrays how they relate to men and especially how they relate to each other.

doublefriedchicken (Oct 6, 2014 – 3:11 pm)

Scumbagitch might be better.

municipald1 (Oct 6, 2014 – 5:24 pm)

Hey, that’s a name you’ll probably hear mispronounced in a Chicago public school roll call! “Scumbagitch?” “No, She-vich”

unemployedalcoholic (Oct 6, 2014 – 6:53 pm)

Ive had Scumbag Itch before, no fun

unemployedalcoholic (Oct 6, 2014 – 3:30 pm)

As we know, Woman are a distinct Clique. We know this because Women as a rule take sides with other Women against the other Cliques, despite that the rest of the time they are at each others throats.

As of right now we know of 4 Woman sub-cliques:

Hot Girls
HR Women
Fat Neighbors
Loser Women

As with the Cliques Propre, there is inevitably some overlap and distinctions exist more so on a spectrum than as clear indivisible entities. I will soon publish a chart that illustrates this.

But OP is correct (minus the Sexism* allegation) that Clique Theory really only glosses over women. Which is absurd because it is likely that the very idea of Clique itself is a manifestation of the Female psyche which has long since been in the preponderant in Western Culture. We already know that the purpose of life for a non-Engineer male is to fuck hotter and hotter Women.

wily (Oct 6, 2014 – 4:38 pm)

Female posters and/or theimmigrant, care to weigh in?

frida2 (Oct 6, 2014 – 8:56 pm)

I think for females hybrid cliques are more common and more possible. Or maybe cliques are less distinct in women beyond the mother Woman Clique that most women are a part of. I am pretty sure I am a Woman/Loser/Prep hybrid and obviously something similar just isn’t possible for a male.

ricegol (Oct 7, 2014 – 11:03 am)

I would think that by virtue of being able to “marry up” women have more fluidity among cliques. Although, thanks to the rapid expansion of “associative mating” in the last couple of decades – marrying up has become a relic along the likes of “Mad Men”.

People are more likely to stay in their lanes – the investment banker from Wharton does not marry the receptionist who graduated high school in Queens – he marries another investment banker (or lawyer, doctor, architect, RN/BSN or teacher)

exnite (Oct 6, 2014 – 7:31 pm)

It doesn’t matter because Clique Theory isn’t about Wimmen, it’s about LOSERS and Losing.


Women are only peripheral characters, not central ones in the Cosmic Drama of Losing. They operate with a completely different mind-set and far more diabolical agenda than the other Cliques anyway. They are driven only by reproductive reality — and the predation required to sustain it — not by “success” or “failure”, at least as Losers understand those concepts.

If anything, the Outline dwells on the subject of Women TOO MUCH, IMHO.

I need to break it off immediately with the girl I slept with (Wily)

mobbarley (Jun 16, 2015 – 1:25 pm)

I think Wily is trying to avoid being attached to said girl(s) and giving them English lessons would make them view him as their savior figure.

 Incidentally, this where Clique Theory is salient. A Scumbag would use the girl for sex and cut her off the moment she got too clingy. Losers engage in moral hand-wringing and fret constantly over the hypothetical consequences of their actions.

keithd (Jun 16, 2015 – 1:37 pm)

Losers are very risk averse. That’s why I never did pay-for-play when I was in Charlotte, even though that city was filled with Scumbaguette stripper-escort types who would often give me their number in exchange for the promise of a relative inexpensive lay (I often met them in the crappy hotels I would stay in during doc reviews). Losers just assume that somehow they’re going to get arrested for doing things that are kind of risky, even though 90 percent of guys don’t get in trouble for such things. Society conditions us to believe this as well due to Losers always being the ones falsely accused of rape, being serial killers, etc.

3lol (Jun 16, 2015 – 3:26 pm)

You know, I’ve always been skeptical of clique theory, having come mostly from the diseased mind of TI. There’s a point here, though. It’s much harder for losers to have casual sex without it meandering into some type of Emotional Crisis or Moral Dilemma.

keithd (Jun 16, 2015 – 4:29 pm)

Seems to be the case. I think Women view Loser men as functional. We’re there for money, or to validate them, or to take care of them and their kids from their relationship with an alpha. Does this mean we can get some tail? Of course. But there’s always going to be a price tag. The price tag for Jocks and Scumbags is usually their alpha sperm, so in effect, they get away without paying, except for like 2 to 5 child support payments before they stop paying and disappear.


ssdlaw5 (Jun 16, 2015 – 4:33 pm)

How can you be skeptical of Clique Theory? Did you even read The Outline?


exnite (Jun 16, 2015 – 5:04 pm)


I just inserted this Clique conversation into The Outline, so it will be self-referencing (i.e. self-aware, haha)




Case Study 9. At What Ages Do the Respective Cliques Peak?



unemployedalcoholic (Jul 25, 2015 – 1:43 am)


Scumbags       15

Jocks                25

Nerds               53

Preps               39

Losers           N/A

Women           19

URMs               21




midlaw (Jul 25, 2015 – 2:55 am)


The loser peaks on his deathbed. It’s more variable than just N/A.


phosita (Jul 25, 2015 – 12:39 pm)

Does not the loser peak at birth?


midlaw (Jul 25, 2015 – 12:59 pm)

You might be inclined to think so but because phenotype is so salient the first reactions by the OB and nurses (and even the loser baby’s loser parents) will be an awkward effort to keep their distance. Birth just sets the loser on a loser path. Only death can relieve the loser of his loserdom. Thus, the deathbed is the loser’s peak.


theimmigrant (Jul 25, 2015 – 1:53 pm)

I would switch the Prep and Nerd ages around. When Nerds start losing IQ points as they approach 40, they become more and more useless as Engineers, and lacking the genotype/phenotype for any kind of career progression, they get Fired when the economy gets soft.

A Prep at age 53 is ripe for becoming President of the United States, or CEO, or Chairman of the Board of Directors, or what have you.

 Aside from that, the rundown is adequate.


exnite (Jul 25, 2015 – 7:48 pm)

Material for The Outline ©.


unemployedalcoholic (Jul 25, 2015 – 8:23 pm)

If I remember right, page 67 has the same paragraph repeated twice


exnite (Jul 25, 2015 – 9:37 pm)

Bad Work is to be expected from Boomer BossPricks like me.





Case Study 10. Lifespans of the Cliques                (Greenhorn, 9/20/13)

Clique Theory has fascinated me. I was wondering about lifespans based on Clique.

Losers die the earliest and most often in an ignominious way. They usually succumb to a deadly cancer or disease through generally no fault of their own. They die of rare cancers and rare conditions, because they are Losers and everything bad happens to Losers. They also tend to die relatively early, like in their mid 50’s.

Scumbags have the 2nd shortest lifespans. Scumbags tend to die from conditions which they brought upon themselves, diseases such as cirrhosis of the liver from drinking, lung cancer due to smoking, car accidents due to drunk/reckless driving, chainsaw accidents, firearms (firearm deaths include both accidental discharge and getting shot by another party), demolition derbies, bar fights gone wrong, etc, etc. Scumbags also tend to have dangerous occupations, such as oil rig worker, commercial fisherman, logger etc.

Nerds live a long time. They tend to be cautious about everything. While Losers are cautious as well, they are Losers and bad things always happen to Losers so there’s no way avoiding bad things happening to you when you’re a Loser. This is not the case for Nerds. They are smart and refrain from unhealthy eating, excessive drinking, smoking and other types of risky behavior.

Jocks tend to live a long life. They are Jocks and bad things rarely happen to them. Many Jocks end up in the military and often despite intense combat, the Jocks tend to survive unscathed. They win medals and live to 85 only to die peacefully in their sleep.

Preps tend to live a long life as well. Their lives are generally easy and stress free. People like them and things come naturally and easily to them.


  • True Jocks end up with Parkinson’s like Muhammad Ali or brain damage like Jim McMahon all by age 40. WTF are you talking about? (Severian2, 9/20/13)
  • I’ve always contended that Preps get prestigious Name Diseases like Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and Alzheimers. Losers are the ones who just seem to have heart attacks at age 37 and then another fatal one at 55. Scumbags generally live the shortest; I’d say that that’s common sense. (Theimmigrant, 9/20/13)
  • I think Scumbag lifespan is bimodal, not unlike lawyer salaries. For every dipshit who gets shot because he “disrespected” someone, there’s some 90 year-old dude at the bar who fought in WW2 and Korea and still changes his own oil. (Ellellou, 10/20/13)
  • Point taken. I agree that many Scumbags have bimodal lifespans. I think the same applies for Jocks. Preps do get the prestigious name diseases, but I think we are all in agreement that Losers tend to die slow, miserable deaths. (Greenhorn, 9/20/13)
  • Would Losers, no matter how bad their injuries, be triaged last and be treated poorly and with contempt? (Brokenface, 9/23/13)Most patients are Losers/Scumbags. Preps get Top diseases like Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma when they’re like 88. Not much to it, just wait to die. (Theimmigrant, 9/23/13)

Case Study 11. Losers v. Nerds: GPA                                      (Keithd, 9/23/13)

Nerds always have Good IQs. Losers sometimes, but not always, have Good IQs. This is demonstrated by standardized testing, which controls for Clique when testing IQ. Nerds get 1500s on the SAT, while Losers get an average score of 1340. Nerds are better than Losers in terms of IQ, but Losers are still better than Jocks, Preps, and Women.

Yet in terms of GPA, there is no question that Nerds Win while Losers Lose. This is for several reasons. First, GPA is a social construct, with Losers being docked points for being Losers. Preps and Jocks are also awarded points for being in the upper Castes. Secondly, GPA does not require just strict intelligence to win. Sazerac can walk into the SAT and score a 1340 without even studying because it’s an intelligence test. But GPA requires work, effort, and self-discipline, and Losers often lack these things because they wallow in ignominy, fretting over having Bad Friends or not getting laid or having mental illnesses.

This is why Nerds excel in terms of GPA. Nerds are brains with vestigial bodies. They do not care about parties, friends, and only marginally care about getting laid on a biological level. Plus, because they are members of a Clique, they get laid with other Nerds. Also, Nerds never have mental illnesses, because that wouldn’t be rational. Nerds are like computers, where you plug in the information and the Nerd spits out the right answer. This is why Nerds excel at both standardized tests and GPA. Nerds are not punished by the High Losers who rule high school and college classrooms like fiefdoms, because Losers NEVER try and pwn Nerds. Losers only assault other Losers, with a vengeance.



Case Study 12. Clique Theory & Academia                           (Exnite, 9/18/13)


“Academia is created and maintained by White people who try to divert attention and criticism from themselves through progressive policies. But the rules of these policies are maintained by White people. They use it as a form of control and for more power and status. Wily’s love for Libs and his thinking it made him a diversified Asian when really it just makes him a pawn for Elitist Whites. In actuality Asians really don’t have a political party that represents their interests like other minority groups have. But Wily good AZN.”   (Brokenface, 9/18/13)

Comment: All completely wrong. It doesn’t have anything to do with the tired old canards of race, or Libs/Progressives:  it has to do with CLIQUE. We have spent a lot of effort analyzing Losers, Scumbags, Women, and even the Black “Clique”, but thus far we have devoted insufficient attention to the almost incalculable damage done by Ascended Nerds (intellectuals and academia) to our economy.

Who really controls Academia? Ascended Nerds. What do Ascended Nerds do? They design social engineering schemes to satisfy their compulsion to tinker with the lives of other human beings as though they were ant colonies, and without regard to whether those schemes really do any good or not. And everything Nerds do is purposely designed to be impenetrable and utterly opaque to members of all the other Cliques, precisely because it reinforces the exclusionary nature of the Nerd Clique, thus perpetuating its power and privileges, such as securing grant money, fellowships, Nobel prizes, etc. It has nothing to do with whites or “Azns”.



Case Study 13. Clique Theory and the Law School Scam            (Exnite)

Law Schools were originally developed by, for, and in the service of the Prep Clique: promoting “Justice” was never its goal. Law Schools were NEVER intended for Losers, Nerds, Scumbags, Women, or Blacks, who attend Law School in vast (and unsupportable) numbers now.

I. The original purpose of Law Schools was to train the sons of High and Ascended Preps to serve and perpetuate the wealth and power of Prep Clique, which has always been composed of a relatively few elite, extremely wealthy families. These were people who could well afford to pay for the legal training and then the services of a dedicated class of legal experts to win disputes, rig laws and elections in their favor, and legitimize a new class of political elites to run the entire show. The whole purpose of training their sons in the Law was thus to insulate the Prep Class from the horrors of democracy, accountability and equality as proclaimed by the fledgling Republic.

II. The old system “worked” reasonably well, until Ascended Nerds took over Academia. The Nerds then perverted the original purpose of Law Schools to serve their OWN ends, such as receiving CEO-type salaries for producing nothing. They lured non-Preps into an ever expanding system by basing entry and success in Law School solely on I.Q. (standardized LSAT’s, “Socratic” teaching techniques and exams based on “issue spotting”), without developing any real world skills. This was a system that could ONLY have been developed by Nerd academicians. The whole goal of Academia as re-purposed by the Nerd elites is to educate the other Cliques far past their basic intelligence and far beyond the needs of Society at large. This affords Nerd Academia the opportunity to cash in by maximizing tuition, fees, expensive textbooks, professorships, grant money, chairs and Dean Positions, plus expand the academic bureaucracies to unheard-of levels.

III. The vast expansion of the Law School “industry” is thus directly attributable to the Nerd Clique co-opting a system that was supposed to cater to the elite Prep Aristocracy and the Corporations they own, who could afford to pay for it. The new purpose of the Law Schools is to churn out huge numbers of non-Prep attorneys who serve no earthly purpose even within their own Cliques. Non-Prep Cliques can neither afford nor have real use for high-priced attorneys. Herein lay the roots of the Law School scam.

It’s all dictated by the internal logic of Clique Theory and is amply demonstrated by the manifest failure of the Law School economic model – and legal education – in America.

Excellent post. I would however caution against conflating Nerds with High Losers. The vast majority of professors etc. in liberal arts are the latter. (Theimmigrant, 9/20/13)


Case Study 14. Law School Cliques


Real Law School Tiers               (Medmal666 (Aug 29, 2013 – 6:21 pm)

T1: Harvard, Yale, Stanford (HYS)

T2: Chicago, NYU, Columbia

T3: Cornell, Northwestern, Michigan, Virginia, Penn.

T4: Georgetown, Vanderbilt, Texas

Everything else = Teurlet Law

The realistic ranking that no one admits:

  1. MD
  2. PhD
  3. MBA
  4. BA/BS
  5. Associates
  6. Trade school
  7. University of Phoenix Online
  8. JD

The worst medical student is still 10 times smarter than the valedictorian at Yale law.



Case Study 15. Not Caring by Clique               (Exnite)

Not Caring by Clique

All religions teach that the essence of caring is concern for others, not self. However, all the Cliques, except one, completely ignore this teaching. They Don’t Care, and blow off religion except as a means of pwning god* to give them more stuff. None of these Cliques need to be taught about Not Caring; it’s been built into their Genotypes since time immemorial, and they practice it with ruthless efficiency, every single day.

Preps: Since they consider themselves far superior to all other human beings, Preps only care about themselves, and they don’t give a damn about rest of humanity. In fact, Not Caring” ® is the whole secret of their success.

Jocks: Jocks are narcissistic and only care about themselves. In their Ascended form, Jocks make up the military, the entire purpose of which is to break things and kill people, including innocent civilians, which they can do without a flicker of pity. This is proof positive that Jocks just obey orders, that the mission comes first, and that “Not Caring” is part of the equation.

Nerds: They only care about technology, not other human beings. Therefore, THEY don’t care.

Scumbags: Scumbags live to satisfy their own primitive needs for food, drink, sex and gratuitous violence. The needs or feelings of others never enter into Scumbag brains.

Women: The most narcissistic Clique of all, Women are totally focused on their looks, their next designer handbag or pair of shoes, and pwning men and other Women. They are totally focused on self, not others, no matter how much they may deny it.

Blacks: Long the victims of everyone else, Blacks blame their problems on others and make incessant demands for programs that benefit them at the expense of everyone else. An excellent example is our own little JDU world is Patentesq, whose posts are all about sticking it to the Man as “payback” for historical injustices that no one alive today had anything to do with. This is pure vindictiveness and antagonism toward all other groups, the exact opposite of caring.

This leaves us with Losers, who unlike the other Cliques, DO care.

Losers: Losers care because they are losers, so they go into Liberal Arts, which above all teaches people to Care about useless things. Losers care deeply about the arts, literature, history and music, all of which are useless. Most bleeding heart Liberals are Losers. Losers suffer when they are dumped by Women; when their favorite team loses 55-3; when their cherished do-gooder cause gets defunded; or when a butterfly ends up getting squished on their windshield. This is also a reason Losers become mentally ill. Unlike the other Cliques, Losers never focus on protecting their own interests FIRST. Losers buy into Religion because Religion is for Losers. This focus on caring about others and about things outside themselves is the prime reason they keep Losing. It’s also why Losers keep straying out of their Lane, in pursuit of idiotic goals like going to Law School to “make the World a better place”.

As long as Losers Care, they will Lose. This is why all Losers need to immediately STOP CARING. “STAY IN YOUR LANE”™ and “STOP CARING” ® are therefore the two absolutely essential messages of JDU/OT AND Clique Theory.

  • “Stop Caring” and “Stop Caring about Liberal Arts” are actually tautologies since both are appeals to practice Stoicism, which is itself a high liberal art. To really “Stop Caring”, you need to 1) renounce Clique Theory, which is a sociological theory and hence a Liberal Art; and 2) formally flounce and stop posting on JDU/OT, which is a repository of disasters caused by the Law School Scam. A true stoic sage doesn’t let disasters bother him/her. When someone says “Stop Caring” it isn’t a reproof: it’s actually a JDU inside joke, rich in irony. (Exnite, talking to himself in the mirror)
  • Stop Caring = Mind your own fucking business, Stay in Your Lane, and attend to your own interests so you’re not so much of a Loser.



Case Study 16. Lane v. Clique                    (Friendlybum, 11/8/13)

In a thread from earlier several people conflated Lane and Clique. While the two concepts are related they are not identical and this mistake could seriously hamper one’s attempt to live a Clique Theory-informed life.

We all know Clique is genotype and phenotype and immutable. Imagine Clique as the type of clay from which you are formed. Clique is the material of who you are.

Lane, on the other hand, is what you do with the Clique you are given. If Clique is the clay, Lane represents the shape. Not every shape can be made with every type of clay and not every Lane can be achieved by every Clique or sub-clique, but while Clique is decided at birth, Lane is developed over time and, in my view, can be altered.

To give some examples:

We all know there are various forms of the Loser Clique. Ascended Loser, High Loser, and Low Loser. These represent different lanes within the Loser clique. A Loser who works hard and applies himself can become a high Loser, while one who develops a drug habit and no skills will be condemned to the low Lane. It’s not quite as simple as high, low, and Ascended, but that construct is a useful way to start to think about Lane.

I’ll use myself as an example. I am Loser clique but I attended peer schools, work for a peer law firm, and have make 160k plus bonus. This does not mean I am a High Loser (nobody who has to grind like a bitch as much as a big law associate can really be a high form of their Clique) but it puts me in a different Lane from the guy who dropped out of college at 19 and has been playing World of Warcraft since then. My social circle is different, my modes of expression are different, and if I had time and were remotely attractive to women my expectations of dating would be different. The differences between us are defined by Lane. Things like height, race, media preferences and the like can also influence Lane.

Lanes are constrained by Clique but can also overlap them. Thus a jock can mate with a scumbag if their Lanes overlap. Likewise a High Loser can occasionally mate with a Low Prep or a Nerd through Lane overlap. The same is true for inter-clique friendships. A Nerd with Loser tendencies can be true friends with a Loser with nerd tendencies if their Lanes overlap even though their Cliques do not.

Because Lane is mutable the true meaning of life is to optimize your Lane given your Clique and other characteristics. If you are a Loser, strive to be a High Loser and share some Lane space with Nerds and Preps. If you are a Scumbag, strive to get a Lane that overlaps with the Jock Clique. For Preps the goal is to have a Lane that intersects with the cream of society.

When you are told to “Stay in Your Lane” what you’re being told is that given the current constraints of your Lane you should not try to do something that ventures beyond them. If you are in a mid-level Loser Lane do not attempt to date a Prep Woman. It can only go badly. Do not apply for Prep jobs or try to wear Prep clothes. You will rub against the barriers of your lane and be injured. If you want those things you need to try to move your Lane so that it intersects with the objects of your desire. Unfortunately some Lane intersections are nearly impossible to achieve. A 5’4″ Loser will never have the NBA within his Lane nor the 6′ model type. A Scumbag can never move his Lane far enough to win a Nobel Prize. Nonetheless Lane flexibility is a burgeoning field of study in Clique Theory and a very important one in trying to build a guide to living the best life possible given your Clique limitations.



Case Study 17: CLIQUE THEORY AS APPLIED TO THE LOONY BIN (metttalheadesq, 1/18/15)


Addiction. Just addiction.  I’m a heroin addict.  I tried to killmyself so the fine folks in the ER convinced me to voluntarily commit myself to in-patient psychiatry (“the loony bin”). Essentially, I was a step above prison.


As you probably would expect, Scumbag was the dominant genotype and phenotype in the bin. I’d estimate 80% of the population was scumbags (including hybrids such as myself—I am part Sephardi (like shithead), and hence my Scumbag phenotype). But, perhaps to your disbelief, Higher Cliques/genotypes/phenotypes were represented in the Bin as well.


THERE WAS LITERALLY A JOCKGINEER IN THE BIN WITH ME. Early 30s, blonde hair cropped in a fade that would look retarded on your typical beta JDU poster. He was under 6’0”. He was in there because, one night, he got a tad blotto and destroyed some property at our local train station. This dude was fuckin’ smart. He builds jet engines—and does a lot of drugs while doing so. He said that you’d never fly again if you knew what the folks building the planes were up to.


You also had a jock/prep named Jim. Sad, heartbreaking case of alcoholism. Dude was in in

40s—grizzled, but delicate features. But jock/prep was evident in phenotype. He used to work in marketing for a Blue Chip company; coached high school soccer at the WASPiest, most prestigious municipality in my great state. Now he’s homeless—bouncing around to loony bins, sober houses, relapses—lather, rinse, and repeat. He did prison time for violating a restraining order–a felony. On a brighter note, in the Bin, there was also this 24 year old blonde bombshell with DDs—my boy Jim got her goddamn phone #. This is just more evidence that Clique Theory rises to the level of Clique Law. Even in the loony bin—the Jocks/Preps win. Lest I should sound resentful—I am not. I pray Jim’s dick disappears into those big-ass titties. He deserves it.


Clique theory was most evident during meals. If you’re being a good loony toon, you get to go downstairs to eat in the courtyard. Naturally, we assembled by genotype and phenotype.


I had two main friends in the Bin—both Loser/Scumbag hybrids, like myself. We had our own table. Then you had the Purebred White Trash Scumbags—they had their own table, as did the URM Scumbags. The Women had their own table as well.


Loser/Scumbag chit-chat resembles Loser conversation (e.g., liberal arts, politics), but with a much heavier dose of all the deviant/criminal acts we’ve gotten away with (or not gotten away with). We all tried to one-up each other with our war stories. I held my own—my friends were impressed that I don’t have a criminal record—I was the only one at my table without such a record.


There were NO Purebred Losers. None. Only loser/scumbag hybrids—my brethren.


Race/Ethnicity breakdown in the Bin:

-60% White

-20% Black

-20% Hispanic/Latino


KKKracKKKers are fuckin’ crazy. That JBProphet dude kind of has a point.


tl;dr: Mental illness is a perverse demon that affects  people all across the Clique Spectrum (although we know poor impulse control is a definitive characteristic of a Scumbag). Mental Illness drives people to self-medicate. Then it can fester into addiction. Just ask Wily. He knows.


mobbarley (1/18/15)


All the pure Losers I know are too scared to do heavy drugs/break the law. Makes sense that there were none there.


Case Study 18. Holiday Plans by Clique                 (Keithd. Posting as theimmigrant, 11/29/13)

Bad Posters like Toadshit still don’t understand Clique. Wily figured it out within 5 days of his return, but guys like Cleverloginname and Doveshit still fuck it up, even after spending 5,000 hours on Qfora. So instead of reading more Bad Posts from Losers about why they are spending the holidays with their Bad parents who don’t love them and who walk in on them while masturbating, here’s how you will be spending your holidays by Clique.

Prep: Will use trust fund or family money to visit their parents in whatever blue state suburb they grew up in. (Preps always grow up in blue suburbs, because, like America, Preps are fiscally conservative, socially liberal.) They will be welcomed home by their Good parents, who spent at least 5,000 dollars preparing for the holiday, but No One Cares because they are Preps. Everyone will get along and no one will fight or argue or make passive-aggressive comments. On occasion a Loser relative with recessive genes will be present at the event and will try to fuck things up due to her mental illnesses, but she will be soft pwned by the other Preps and quickly medicated. The Prep will return to his six figure (after taxes) job and Hot Girl energized and more confident after spending the holidays with his Prep family.

Jock: Will also spend the holidays with his family. Will insist on driving home instead of flying, and will claim that he can drive 14 hours straight due to his Jock endurance, but his parents will convince him to travel by air. The holiday will center on football, both watching it, debating it over dinner, and playing it outside. Loser relative with recessive genes will get pwned at least a half dozen times, both due to lack of knowledge about sports, lack of interest in watching the game, and being tackled multiple times outside, emasculating him in front of his wife, who already doesn’t want to have sex with him ever again.

Nerd: Goes home every year without any angst or thought about it, because like Scumbags, Nerds lack the ability to care. Will mechanically participate in holiday festivities, and then go off to their childhood bedroom, where they will play WoW and chat with their latest “Internet girlfriend,” usually a married 39 year old Woman in South Dakota with two kids who they will never actually meet. Will masturbate mechanically each morning.

Woman: Due to smaller brain size, no one will allow even a Loser Woman to spend a holiday alone out of fear that she might engage in a faux suicide attempt as a cry for attention. Every Woman ends up with some family on the holidays, even if they are a Loser with mental illnesses who try to fuck things up on purpose. Women will have their travel paid for either by parents or by who they’re fucking. Will feel a combination of envy, loathing, and aggression towards everyone else in the room and will express this later to her significant other and/or by Posting about it.

Scumbag: May or may not decorate for the holidays. Will alternate between going out into the woods and illegally chopping down a tree to putting up a single wreath on the door as their sole Christmas decoration. Often spends the holidays going to all-you-can-eat Scumbag buffets that are open on holidays for the sole purpose of serving Scumbags, old people, and Blacks. Scumbag holidays usually end with a trip to Walmart or a discussion over beers in the yard about cars, and usually involve one or more new significant others based on who knocked up whom over the course of the year.

Black: Chinese buffet.

Azn: Will return home to Azn parents, who will ask things like, “Why you no doctor yet?” Will revert to compliant Azn kid status and will be too ashamed to masturbate.

Becliqued Loser (Hipster): Will spend the holidays either at home or will rebel and will spend it with other Hipsters, doing Hipster things, like drugs, sex, and getting tattoos.

High Loser: Spends the holidays alone. Possibly works on the holiday itself, and presents himself as a martyr for doing so, even though he secretly is doing so because his family sucks and he has No Friends. Reassesses plans for world domination, but never seems to quite get anywhere because he always fucks it up. If he does travel, he spends the trip drinking on the plane and trying to hit on Women at the airport bar as an act of defiance against being a Loser.

Loser: Spends the holidays losing. Will pay twice as much for travel as Jocks or Preps, will have more stops, a longer layover, and will have the worst seat. Baggage may or may not be lost, and his family will forget to pick him up from the airport. Once home, No One Cares. Family will buy him Bad gifts. Will be pwn3d constantly. Will promise himself that next year he will have a Prep girlfriend whose Good family he can join for the holidays, but will lose in his efforts to secure one.



1)     Of Castes and Cliques                                      (Theimmigrant)


  • The caste system and the feudal system are identical to the Clique system.


Kings = Shiva = Jockgineers


Lords = Preps


Priests = Brahmins = Nerds


Knights = Kshitriyas = Jocks


Artisans = Sudras = Scumbags


Serfs = Dalits = Losers


  • The only difference is we have Preps whereas they didn’t. Social grace and phenotype is 1000 x more important in Western society. This means that the Clique system is actually MORE corrupt and more overt than the Caste system. Sudras have to accept that Kshatriyas are their betters. Fair enough, War is nobler than being a bourgeoisie pussy and that makes sense. But in the Western world, we Losers have to accept that Preps are our betters and more qualified for jobs/pussy purely because of their superior phenotypes and social acumen. We have a far bigger pill to swallow IMO. Jocks and Nerds, I get, but Preps? They are nothing but a vestige of feudalism.


2)    Evolution of Cliques

In the state of nature, all men were Scumbags.

Then came Jocks, who were the strongest of Scumbags and ruled over them by force.

After a while, long-lasting Jock families softened into Preps, who ruled over all because they were Respected and Eloquent.

Then as civilization began, there became a role for scribes and engineers, men who worked by their brains, called Nerds.

There were only four Cliques for all of time, and almost everyone was a Scumbag.

This only changed after the industrial revolution was done. Only then could the most ignominious arise, the Losers who did not belong to any other Clique. In any other society except for post-industrial states, Losers would either adapt to becoming poor Scumbags, or just die off. The masses of Liberal Arts-loving, lower class white collar Losers have only grown since 1945, like TI says. They now threaten the very vitality of America. (Wily, 9/14/13)


(thecharmingmresq, 2/14/15)

The US is unique in telling everyone they can be anything. So, when Losers invariably Lose, it’s their fault and they are meant to feel shame and inferiority.

In Victorian and Edwardian England, it was *understood* that Losers Lose, and so when you invariably Lost, it was a mere expression of your lot in life, not a personal failing. You a coal miner? In the Edwardian UK, as long as you were a *good* coal miner, you faced no opprobrium or ignominy.

By accepting the Voltaire/Rousseau nonsense and publishing such tripe as “we hold that all men are created equal” the US Rebels penned Ignominy right there in the founding document of their new experiment. From 1776 onwards, even really good coal miners would be asked, “not trying to be a dick, but do you mine coal because you failed accounting class? haha”


serbexo (Feb 14, 2015 – 9:08 pm)

Exnite, add this to the outline.


  1. The Black “Clique”                                                                  (Exnite)

Only Caucasians have Cliques. Race is a de facto Clique, so the Black “Clique” is not a Clique propre. In reality, the de facto Cliques are really anyone else systematically excluded by the other six Cliques, such as URM’s, people of color, Native Americans, legal immigrants, illegals, etc.

  1. Blacks are their own Clique, not because they necessarily self-identify that way, but simply because all the other Cliques view them this way.
  • A Black can only be a member of his or her Clique, not a member any other non-Black Clique. It has nothing to do with race; it has to do with Clique.
  • They may ascend within Clique but never out of it, because they will never truly be accepted by members of any other Clique, no matter how sincerely or how politically correct the assurances given them by guilty, hypocritical members of the other Cliques.
  1. Black Sub-Cliques

Like the other Cliques, there are Black Preps, Nerds, Scumbags etc., but this doesn’t really mean anything because, unlike the white Cliques, the barriers between black sub Cliques are semi-permeable. Obama, nominally a black “Prep” comfortably and unselfconsciously hangs with Black Nerds, Black Losers and even Black Scumbags, something that would NEVER happen in the White Clique counterparts.  Posters who use terms like this are guilty of lazy thinking.

The REAL fault lines in the Black Clique were formed because Blacks as a Clique have never really decided whether to even TRY to fully integrate with the rest of America, or alternatively, whether to maintain their own separate, distinct culture.  Thus, there are two main subgroups within the Black “Clique”:

  • The first group is the High Blacks*, comprising perhaps 1/3 of the Black population in America, and most usefully associated with the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  These are the Blacks who try to fully assimilate with the other Cliques but are constantly frustrated by their continuing inability to truly do so despite 50 years of advances in Civil Rights. This is NOT mainly because of racism, but because of the exclusionary nature of the Clique system itself. Although they are already tremendous successes by any objective criteria, Blacks in this group paradoxically end up sabotaging their own efforts by presenting the other Cliques with a never-ending list of racial grievances and demands to bring justice to a Clique System that can NEVER be just.  All this does is alienate the other Cliques even more.
  • The Low Blacks** comprise the other 2/3 of Black America, and are most usefully associated with the historical legacy of Malcolm X. They will never forgive the rest of America for their suffering during slavery, Jim Crow, the Prison Farm system, and segregation. They have instinctively recognized that true integration into the Clique system is impossible, and have therefore attempted to create a separate and distinct Black Identity, in effect, self-segregating themselves by culture. But they have seen this separateness degenerate into a wretched sub-culture of government dependency, crime and ignorance. This is because Low Blacks are completely out of step with the REAL agenda of the Clique power elites above them (even including High Blacks) whose purpose is to accumulate power, privileges, money and sex, NOT to ensure equality. Low Blacks therefore command no power or resources to escape the twin evils of poverty and substandard education, other than the welfare dependency programs thrown to them as a bone via government programs, as a way of keeping them docile. They engage in a seemingly never ending cycle of self-defeating behaviors. Then they fall easy prey to race hustlers, Black separatist propaganda and religious zealots.

Because they are a Clique, Blacks vote monolithically, making themselves easy targets for the political elites who promise the moon but never deliver. They end up being betrayed by White elitists, competing URM’s, and by themselves. Even the first Black president, Barack Obama, has done nothing to ease their plight, because he is beholden to all the other Cliques, and because the country is completely bankrupt.

No one escapes their Clique, and Blacks are no exception. This is the way things are and always have been, the “Dream” of Dr. Martin Luther King and the Black Nationalist ideals of Malcolm X notwithstanding.

** N.B.: The terms “High Blacks” and “Low Blacks” are proxies for educational and economic success, not code words for superiority, inferiority or any other measure of inherent human worth.

III. High, Low and Ascended Blacks

Like the other Cliques, Blacks self-segregate into the High, the Low and the Ascended.

Ascended Blacks like Obama, Condoleezza Rice, and Colin Powell etc. have reached a modus vivendi with the other White Cliques. They possess the same sterling qualities as any other Ascended member of any other Clique: clarity of vision, high I.Q., talent, character, drive, determination, and guts. It doesn’t matter: they are outsiders no matter what their level of career attainment, and they are thus excluded from true membership in the other Cliques.

This is because it’s not about color, it’s about clique. The Clique structure only allows acceptance on a PERSONAL level, and NEVER at the Clique level where true social mobility has been rendered impossible.

Ascended Blacks are well aware of the Cliques and the elite power structures within them, but naively believe that through their continued successes, they can infiltrate and reform the Clique system over time. Nothing could be further from the truth, because nothing ever changes in the world of the Cliques. Cliques are hard wired into the genotypes which drive all human nature, and are thus unalterable.

Low Black Clique:

At best, Low Blacks struggle to make ends meet; many are at or below the poverty line. The majority are beset by joblessness, hopelessness, restlessness, resentment and crime (much of it self-inflicted). Low Blacks comprise of much of the poor black populations of cities like Chicago, Detroit, Los Angeles, New Orleans, Washington DC; the 40% of welfare recipients who are Black; the nearly one million blacks currently incarcerated in the Clique-run Prison Gulag; gang bangers; and also the active Black separatist organizations like the Nation of Islam, the New Black Panthers, the Israelite Church of God, and the Black Hebrew Israelites.

Low Blacks are NOT aware of the Clique system per se, and they really don’t care. Most largely view white America as an undifferentiated mass of hypocritical “crazy ass crackas”, some just richer than others, and most of whom are “rayciss”, at least according to that new high philosopher of the Low Black sub-clique, Rachel Jeantel. Getting a good education, learning to speak and write properly, getting a job and staying out of trouble are all frowned upon as “trying to be one of ‘da Woods (Whites)”. These are actually highly dangerous behaviors that could easily result in young Blacks who aspire to them being shot down in cold blood on the streets of one da ‘hoods.

Low Blacks reject any notion of emulating the white Cliques, but secretly envy the success and wealth of their more accomplished Black brothers who have broken out to join the high and ascended Black sub-cliques. The few who do manage to ascend into the High Black Clique never seem look back or attempt to help their impoverished peers, not even someone like Obama.

Bottom line: Ascended though they may be, to the other Cliques, these exemplars are simply members of the “Black Clique” and are thus forever denied true membership or acceptance into the impenetrable Clique System, the strictest in the world. (Exnite)

  1. The Attitudes of the Other Cliques toward the Black “Clique”       

Preps: Preps have a patronizing attitude toward the Black Clique because they will always feel superior to them, as they do to all the other Cliques, and to all other human beings. These are the East Coast royalty and limousine liberals of Hollywood, who proclaim their support of equal rights when in fact, the concept of true equality is utterly abhorrent to them. They are incapable of feeling guilty about anything, and they are certainly not burdened with things like white guilt. They view the Black man as an easily pwnable, and useful to them politically. Supporting the cause of Black advancement makes them feel even MORE superior to the other Cliques. Preps are not self aware of this duplicity toward their Black “wards”, because they think everything they do is for the good of EVERYONE, when in fact they are only serving themselves.

Jocks: Of all the Cliques, it is obviously the Jocks who are most comfortable and sympathetic with the Black Clique because they train and compete with them on the athletic field, live with them in the locker room,  jealously admire their athletic prowess, and especially because they go to war alongside them. Senator Bill Bradley is the probably the exemplar of a hybrid Prep/Jock elite who has been extraordinarily sympathetic and supportive of Blacks. This is also why young Black men flock to sports: winning in sports is the one true way of being accepted as a true equal (at least in the sports world) plus it affords them a chance to win the Lottery without having to buy a ticket.

Nerds design government programs for Blacks on behalf of Prep and Jock politicians, naively thinking that mere social engineering can “solve” the problems of Blacks trying to compete and succeed in a world of Cliques, but these schemes inevitably backfire and make things worse, as evidenced by the destruction of the Black family during half a century of welfare dependency. Nerds are never self aware: they are oblivious to everything outside their techno-bubble. To them, studying and designing “solutions” to the problems of Black America is like scientists coldly examining how specimens react in a Petri dish.

Losers embrace Blacks because they will befriend anyone in their hopeless quest to succeed at something, anything. Most liberals are Losers. Losers love putting together lists of grievances that will never be acted on. They always think their day will come, but it never does. But standing shoulder-to-shoulder with their “Black brothers” makes them FEEL successful at something, even though they aren’t, and always lose.

Women have conflicted emotions about Blacks. Low Women are some of the worst racists around. High and Ascended Women are fascinated with the beauty of black men, and are attracted to High Blacks for the same reasons they are attracted to any other successful male elite in the other Cliques: for the prestige, money and power it brings, which affords protection for them and their spawn. Simultaneously, women shun Low Blacks because of their poverty and powerlessness and instinctively fear them because of their social pathologies. But despite these fears, Women support “liberal” causes of all stripes, so they can feel good about themselves. Paradoxically, Women have formed a loose alliance with Losers (whom they otherwise totally reject and shun), to support liberal causes.

Scumbags hate Blacks simply because of the color of their skin, and it makes no difference whether the Black in question is Low, High or Ascended. This is because Scumbags need someone to feel superior to. President Obama is the chief focus of their hatreds, because fixating on him allows them to feel superior to the POTUS, which they could NEVER do otherwise. Whenever you encounter blatant racism, a Scumbag is always lurking nearby. Scumbags always make up the majorities of racist outfits like the Klan, The Nazis, The Aryan Nation, The World Church of the Creator, etc. where they can apply the only remedy they know to the “threat” of Blacks living in their midst: fear, intimidation and merciless violence. (Exnite)

  • Losers are most scared of blacks of any of the cliques. Paradoxically, they also have the biggest fascination with blacks. Blacks can sense this Loser-ness and know how to take advantage of it, whether by playing upon Losers sense of white guilt to get things for themselves, or by robbing them of their iPhones with little fear of recrimination. (Abazungu, 8/26/13)


  1. Asian Cliques              (Wily, 8/10/13, officially endorsed by the immigrant)


1) Nerd. This is the largest group. Do well in school, ignore social skills, become doctor, scientist, or businessman (the Holy Trinity).

2) Prep/Jock (usually merge together for Asians). Whitewashed “bananas” (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). Wear Preppy clothes and hang out with white kids. Often works out for the girls, because they find some rich white husband and being accepted by the Preps, but for the whitewashed Asian males, they turn 18 and realize white women don’t like them (unless they take bullets for them like that guy in the Aurora theater). Usually leads to these unfortunate Chinamen falling into the Loser Clique.

3) Loser What happens when Asians study liberal arts (excluding Econ): Their attempts to blend in with White America, often their goal in life, rarely succeed in full. Example: I am one of these – I believe my falling out of the Nerd clique was because I wanted to be “all-American” white as a college student, having been an isolated minority for so long, and decided that the Whitest Job Ever was a lawyer. I thought my prize-winning debate skills and mastery of the American tongue could lead me to become a Prep. So far, that hasn’t happened. Wily, It can’t happen, see above. (Ed.)

The attempts to lose the Otherness that is so distinct among Asian-Americans usually fail, and the resulting Loser is both ill-employed and rejected by mainstream society (if not by his parents also). Another example: a MIT grad I know who quit his hard-earned job at the NSA to write screenplays. Yea, he hasn’t sold any. He lives with his parents, who say to him every day, Son, I am Disappoint.

4) Scumbag Either poor or working in menial jobs, or middle class and own a restaurant/dry cleaning/other Asian business. They drive trucks and speak bad accented English. Usually have little or no contact with the more Americanized counterparts in categories 1, 2, or 3.

5) FOBs (Fresh off the Boat). They can be either Nerds or Scumbags, no exceptions. But they usually stick to themselves.

There’s also a huge gap between the first and second generations of Asians. The first-gen “pioneers,” like my parents, generally came over either to study STEM fields, or to do really shitty menial jobs. In either case, they are hard-working as hell and not your typical Boomers in that they save, save, save, and pay for their kids’ educations. Then the second generation is totally different – they are often hyper-Americanized and want to pursue shit like art history or linguistics, which their parents are puzzled by, and waste their money on green tea soy skim Lattes and apartments in Soho.


Also, I should refine my analysis by pointing out there is a huge gap between Asian males and females in what life paths they can succeed in.


Because they are much, much, much more accepted by American society, Asian Women can become Preps/Jocks and also successful Liberal Artists (“high Losers”), while also being able to become Nerds. They can star in normal movies and TV shows; become Prepxecutives; and, most commonly, marry up into white upper class Prep society, and then pursue some random liberal art with their free time. So they have the whole gamut of Nerd, Prep, and High Loser to go into. In general, Asian women are basically viewed as White Women with funny eyes.


Asian men, on the other hand, can only succeed in life by being a Nerd. Like, there’s 0.00001% chance of them succeeding in the liberal arts and becoming High Losers, or marrying into upper class white America. In general, they are viewed either as sexless uber-Nerds, or evil, slavish Japs/Vietcong/Red Commies. Oh yea, and they supposedly all have small dicks, and have to make up for it by doing blah blah blah.


And yes, I’m aware that once in a long while a Jeremy Lin or Ang Lee will come up, but they are like 1 in 1,000,000 flukes, whereas Prep/Jock or Artist Asian Women are like 1 in 3.


Basically, Asian male is the worst sex/race demographic combination to be in America. And I’m not saying that as a self-hater, but from a realistic examination of the situation.

  • You’re lucky that your parents are Azn. If your parents were white, their behavior would be determined by Clique. Jocks and Preps get along exquisitely with their parents. Scumbags think that once you hit puberty you should start making plans to move out of the house. This is due to Scumbags being stuck in a state of nature instinctive mindset, where leaving the nest and reproducing has to happen early, because one’s ultimate fate is to get eaten by a lion or die of an easily preventable disease.
  • Losers, of course, make terrible parents, because they are burdened with the ignominy of lifelong Losing, which makes it impossible to wrap up their own life and pass life along to their children. Losers’ favorite child is always themselves. (keithd, 9/21/13)



VIII. The Politics of Clique                         (Kiethd, 8/28/13)


Political Science is the perfect discipline for Losers. Losers yearn to use their Good IQs for things unrelated to Engineering, and have an earnestness that leads them to believe that things matter, while Nerds understand that nothing matters except for Engineering, and Scumbags realize that only survival and reproduction Matter.

This leads Losers to liberal arts. But other liberal arts offer specialized fields of study with actual potential career tracks. Only Political Science tells a Loser that he can not only apply his Good IQ to liberal arts, but can do so in a way that will lead to him being POTUS, or running politics from behind the scenes. Pwned by his parents for actually believing it when they told him God* exists, rejected by Hot Girls for his phenotype, and not Smart enough for Engineering, the Loser grasps for the low hanging fruit of Political Science, his one last shot at greatness, only to once again Lose.            



  1. Ideologies in a Nutshell                         (Exnite, 8/26/13)

U.S.A.: E Pluribus Unum
U.S. Marines: “Semper Fi”
Brazil: “Ordem e Progresso”
שמע ישראלה ‘אלוקינוה‘ אחד
Christianity: Father, Son and Holy Ghost
Islam: “Allahu Akbar!”

Existentialism: Existence Precedes Essence
Nazism: “Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Führer!”

Capitalism: “Greed is Good”
Communism: “Workers of the World, Unite!”

Obama: “Hope and Change”

Clique Theory: “STAY IN YOUR LANE”















  1. Preps make the best Presidents (Keithd.)



The immigrant has discussed previously how the only Good parents are Preps. I’ve also noticed that, in leadership positions, Preps are the only ones who never abuse their power. I remember some cable news talking head saying once that when New Jersey elects a governor like Christine Todd Whitman, it’s because they want an aristocrat who they know won’t steal from the state. That’s code for Prep.

When Preps get in power, they act like George H.W. Bush, talking about things like prudence. They have a sense of Noblesse Oblige. And your Prep boss is most likely to try to people please and be fair, even if he doesn’t Respect you because you’re in the wrong Clique. But Prep leaders, even if aloof and annoying, are far better than any other kind of leader. When a Scumbag becomes a leader, he just tries to fuck all the Women (see Clinton, Bill) because a Scumbag is feral and wholly instinct-driven, and this is what will lead to his seed being spread.

  1.  What Happens When a Loser becomes a Leader       (Anotherjd, 8/16/13)


When a Loser becomes a leader you might as well just hide or leave the country.

Loserxecutives like Dick Cheney, Richard Nixon, etc, are going to inevitably be insane due to years and years of losing. Also, a Loserxecutive who comes from Scumbag roots, like Nixon, is going to tend towards being dictatorial because not only were they pwned all their lives for Bad phenotypes, they were pwned by their Scumbag parents for being a Loser, instead of being a Good Scumbag and taking up a trade, or fucking trailer park Women or whatever.

The overlap between mad dictators and Scumbag-Loser hybrids is telling. Saddam Hussein? Check. Hitler? Check. Even art and literature have caught onto this. Mad villains in positions of power, like Judge Frollo from Hunchback or Javert from Les Mis, are always referenced as coming from Prole backgrounds and clawing their way to the top. The implication is that if they were Preps they wouldn’t be assholes. Preps are far too tightly wound to be mad. This is why Preps make the Best leaders, even if they are somewhat douchey. (Keithd, 8/16/13)

Losers need more ambition to succeed than Preps. A Prep like Bush ’41 basically sees the presidency as his birthright. Like FDR, they have a certain benevolence the Loser lacks. The Loser has to squash his enemies and that mentality permeates his actions once in power. That’s why Watergate happened.


  • Excellent post. (Theimmigrant, 8/16/13)

Nixon was a High Loser and a Cerebral Narcissist who was driven to madness due to years of being pwned by everyone around him due to his genotype and phenotype. This is the consequence of creating a High Loser. (Keithd, 8/27/13)

4) The Politics of Cliques                                           (Keithd, 8/17/13)

This is the goal of a healthy plurality of Cliqueless Losers. As we know, Losers have adequate social skills, Bad genotypes and phenotypes, and an ignominious tendency to be drawn towards liberal arts. This means they will, from an early age, ask philosophical questions and come up with sociological theories, and will believe that it is their goal as a higher order mammal to try to reorganize society and come up with moral, social, and cultural rules. Ironically, these higher goals end up making them worse off in the long run than a Scumbag who understands his role as a high-functioning cockroach.

But Losers are limited by their genotype and phenotype from being Good at politics. Their GPAs will suffer due to negative GPA points awarded to them by instructors, who realize that enforcing the American Caste System is part of their job. Also, they will lack the family connections of Preps to get their foot in the door. Their social skills aren’t Good enough to truly do well in the political world, and their phenotypes rule out roles that require too much of a media presence or person to person contact.

This relegates Losers to attempt to quench their liberal arts desires by aspiring to run politics from behind the scenes. This results in Losers competing with scores of other Losers to be the next Dick Cheney or Karl Rove. 99.5 percent of Losers who pursue this dream will fail at this endeavor and end up as a Contract Analyst I, in doc review, in Doody Law, or in some other dead end field with little opportunity for real money or professional advancement.

Adding insult to injury, these Losers will ultimately realize that politics was all a scam anyway, and while those in the STEM and High Prole fields are living it up and buying houses and boats, the Loser who aspired to run politics from behind the scenes is still living in his 1 bedroom apartment in his mid-30s, going on dates with OKCupid chicks ten years younger who talk about their desire to work for a non-profit.


  1. On Communism v. Capitalism:One does not have to be an elite liberal artist to realize that communism is not that novel a concept. In communist societies, Engineers, our betters, still get paid more than Losers. Preps can still find a way to excel, even if it just means that they crowd the Losers out of civil service or similar jobs, causing salaries to increase in such fields to accommodate Preps. The one thing that you don’t have is Pete Coors (Sigma Nu) making $500 million and privatizing the profits of industry to benefit a few Preps while paying truck drivers and beer bottle glass blowers $19k. The only self-interested folks getting the shaft would be investors, who exist only to do evil and make money they didn’t earn. Seriously, how is Joe Public any less motivated in Vietnam or Cuba than he is in Brazil or Florida? Either way he can become an Engineer and thus earn more than Losers. So, what is this magical motivation vis-a-vis self interest that exists in the U.S.? It doesn’t exist. Regardless of the power structure, Cliques will still rule the day.Political theory is irrelevant; the folly of Loser liberal artists.

No it isn’t. Capitalism does not reward self-interest. It rewards Clique. Both systems are all about Clique. Capitalism is about Clique. Communism is about Clique.  (Theimmigrant, 8/15/13)




1) Communism is not about cliques, it is about the absence of cliques. According to Marx, a classless — that is to say cliqueless — society is the ultimate goal of “scientific socialism”, i.e. Communism. But in Clique Theory, this is patently impossible because cliques are immutable, and are imparted according to genotype at birth. Therefore Marx was wrong and Communism failed because it pursued an unrealizable utopia, a world without cliques. This is also why Capitalism won, and will always win, because it is built of, by, and for Cliques. (Exnite 8/16/13)


Clique Theory doesn’t really apply to Communist societies          (Wily, 8/15/13)

Basically, the Scumbag Proles, and a few Losers who manage to recite the party line, would rule in Communist society. If anything, the “Preps” would be the lowest class, because they come from inherited wealth and would be persecuted. People with Prep/bourgeois backgrounds do not do well in real Communist societies (talking about like USSR from 1919 to 1980, PR China from 1949 to 1979). The original Preps were killed or sent to gulags outright, and their children were viewed with suspicion their entire lives, and were greatly limited in what they could do.

My grandfather was a “Prep”. He was named Peter, an English name, because his dad was a rich English professor / factory owner. His dad was shot in Shanghai in 1949 when the Commies took over for being a capitalist. My grandfather, despite being very Tall (6’1″) and well-educated, was never allowed to finish college or join the Party, and had to be an accountant his entire life. During the Cultural Revolution, he was forced to parade around town wearing a sign around his neck saying how he was a traitor and reactionary; he was lucky he didn’t get killed. My mom, his daughter, was even screwed over in what university she got to go to, because of the family connection to past wealth.  That was the fate of Preps in Communist society – they got dragged down by illiterate Scumbags to the lowest, “equal” level.

Clique Theory and Totalitarianism

While not all totalitarian regimes are headed by Losers, many are led by the infamous sub-Clique of High Loser-Villains. The classic example would be Nazi Germany. All of the leaders of Nazi Germany were High Losers with mental illnesses. Like, all of them. They had replaced the Preppy leaders of the Weimar Republic, who tried to create the “freest society in human history” due to their sense of Noblesse Oblige, a hallmark of Preps.

So how did Losers overthrow Preps? Simple. The Losers got the Scumbags on their side. This Loser/Scumbag alliance is the surest way to overthrow a free society and replace it with a dictatorship. Normally, Losers and Scumbags hate each other, sort of like lions and hyenas. But every now and then, you have a High Loser who appeals to the Scumbag hyenas through tricks. Such a Scumbag was Adolf Hitler. Other examples are Richard Nixon and Scar from Lion King. This results in the Loser/Scumbag alliance that brings down Prep governments and replaces them with Losers.

Ironically, this Loser/Scumbag alliance often occurs when a society becomes too free. That’s because the more a society is atomized, the more Scumbags and Losers aren’t able to cope. Jocks and Preps will do just fine in an atomized society. They will pay like 100 dollars a month for an individual health plan because of their strong genotypes, will work from home without descending into mental illness, and will never be unemployed or need government aid because of their Clique.

But a society that leaves Scumbags and Losers to fend for themselves ensures that Losers will simply sit around masturbating and Scumbags will all become meth addicts because both need civil institutions to give them structure. As both groups descend into ignominy, a clever High Loser, driven to madness by years of Losing, will often rise to unite the two Cliques in an alliance that overthrows Preps and puts Losers in charge. This usually leads to all kinds of insanity, such as sending the nation’s military on a quest for the Holy Grail or the Lost Ark. The society is almost always relegated to the status of villain by historians, ironically, given that historians are all Losers. (Keithd, 9/8/13)

  • From what you’ve described, it sounds like an alliance with the Scumbags almost always serving as junior partner, which makes sense. High Losers are much more adept at wielding power, while Scumbags usually serve as the Brown Shirts of a nascent movement. The Scumbag lacks the Losers’ imagination and ability to get from point A to point B. Most Scumbags can’t even show up to work on time, much less take control of a country.The Loser, on the other hand, lacks the Scumbags’ ability to do what it takes to get there–so they make a great team when united. I think Hitler and Ernst Rohm perfectly illustrate the High Loser-Scumbag Alliance. I don’t think proper Losers have much use for Scumbags except as a means to an end. Losers would much rather be Preps or Jocks, but they do have a fascination with the Scumbags’ ability to Not Care. Scumbags are like Pit Bulls and if you can harness their rage they make a good ally. But they can always turn on you, so they are not to be trusted. (Anotherjd, 9/8/13)
  • Criminal organizations too. From the intelligent Mafia bosses co-opting henchmen muscle in the 1930’s, down to the well-read Stringer Bell manipulating the drug dealing thugs in today’s Baltimore (the Wire).Scumbags and Losers are usually water and oil, but if a Loser is cunning enough and the conditions are right, he can gain more power through Scumbags than even the highest Prep. That’s because the Loser doesn’t have a tradition of ruling or noblesse oblige like the Prep does, and since he’s also uncharismatic, must wield power in the most absolute and amoral ways. (Wily, 9/8/13)
  • Yes. Ironically, the Loser and Scumbag each possesses traits that the other sorely lacks, and when working together as a team, can often overthrow the natural order of Cliques, leading almost always to Articles of Impeachment or a World War to set things right.Normally, the Scumbag scoffs at the Loser’s inability to do basic tasks such as manual labor, or how the Loser inevitably fucks things up when talking to Women. The Scumbag sees these tasks as the primary functions of life, and can’t figure out how Losers can be seen as smart when they’re Stupid about instinct-driven functions.Losers, meanwhile, find Scumbags to be boorish, and look down on Scumbags’ tendency to still listen to Howard Stern at age 45, live in trailer parks, and have sexual preferences that start and end at “boobs, only bigger.” This stands in stark contrast to the Loser’s intelligent sexuality, likely harboring at least one bizarre fetish, and preference for overpriced one-bedroom apartments over trailers. (Keithd, 9/8/13)
  • Totalitarian rule is basically ScumSers (portmanteau of Scumbag Losers) on top. There’s nothing inherently wrong with ScumSers seeking to be on top (indeed, we don’t fault oligarchies and monarchies for elevating Preps). Each clique naturally wants top billing. The reason people hate Totalitarianism is most Westerners want to be ruled by Preps (i.e. Elite) or dispassionate Nerds (i.e. an efficient bureaucracy). They don’t prefer these because they are better qua governance, but just because they have a visceral dislike for Losers. (Thecharmingmresq, 9/8/13)
  1. How the Cliques Fight (Exnite, 9/21/13)Francesca  asked for a Clique-based assessment of how the Cliques go up against each other, i.e. a “rock, paper, scissors” analysis:Preps: Preps employ attorneys to manipulate the legal and political systems in their favor; shop for judges who are old fraternity buddies; employ the power of their connections;  use money as a weapon to buy off people and organizations; use zoning and gated communities to keep out “undesirables”; and employ burly-looking Scumbag bodyguards to protect their person. The only Clique feared by Preps is Women, who can easily manipulate and intimidate them out of everything they own. Preps HATE to lose at anything though, and if all else fails, they will simply outspend an opponent, as any political race or divorce proceeding clearly demonstrates. In a fight between two Preps, the richest one usually wins. Never get into a fight with a Prep.Jocks: They use their natural abilities of teamwork, courage, and disciplined athletic skills applied to combat situations to win. Many of them have military backgrounds, so watch out. They usually win fights, even with Scumbags because their disciplined courage and skills outclass the undisciplined fury of Scumbag violence. Their main “soft” weapons are appeals to patriotism and sports fan loyalties, but this doesn’t advance their agenda, even if they had one, very far. If they can’t win, they will cheat, as they do in sports with PED’s, spitballs, chop-blocks, resin on the boxing gloves, recruiting violations, etc. etc. But they really don’t have to: the Jock Clique is already completely insulated from attack by the other Cliques because body phenotype is the only way to get in. The main distinguishing characteristic between two Jocks going up against each other are the number of inherently worthless trophies, championships, medals and other awards they live to compete for.

    Nerds: Nerds are weak and easily intimidated, so they use their technical knowledge and raw mental processing powers in confrontations with the other Cliques. One of their favorite “soft” weapons is credentialization, which excludes non-Nerds from whatever field they are trying to monopolize. Degrees, diplomas, licenses, and other bullshit certifications, all designed by Nerds, bar competitors from entry in virtually every occupation now, ranging from the practice of law to hairdressing and driving a cab. When Nerds confront each other, no physical violence is ever encountered because it all comes down to pure numbers: I.Q. and SAT score.

Losers: It doesn’t make any difference how they fight, because they always lose. Since they lack both brawn and guile, their only weapons are profanity, insults, racial epithets, name-calling, and sleazing their way out of trouble. But if they do get into a fight with a Jock or a Scumbag, they’re immediately knocked out; if they get into a confrontation with a Nerd or a Prep, they’re immediately outsmarted. They run away from fights with Blacks, whom they viscerally fear. They are crushed in all confrontations with Women. Their only chance in a fight is against another Loser. Here, a High or Ascended Loser will defeat a Low Loser, because High Losers are psychopaths or sociopaths.

Scumbag: The Scumbag’s main weapon is violence or the threat of violence, which terrifies all Nerds, Losers, Preps and Women. Historically too, Scumbags terrified Blacks, especially when they put white hoods on, but this is less true today. Scumbags have other weapons too: to fight the power of Preps, they join unions and go on strike. To fight Nerds, they put bumper stickers on their trucks and paint the “stars and bars” on their Dodge Chargers. When two Scumbags go at it, Losers grab a video camera to make a buck off of it filming “Bum Fights”.

Blacks: High Blacks use protests, demonstrations, EEO and never-ending lists of racial grievances as their main weapons against the other Cliques. They are committed to non-violence. Low Blacks are committed to crime, but direct it mainly against themselves, which is totally self-defeating, but what else is new?

Women: They possess the most formidable arsenal of weapons of any Clique: seduction, intimidation, manipulation, and vindictiveness. Tears, screaming, hysteria and ultimately, DIVORCE: these are the nuclear weapons of Clique Warfare. “Hell Hath No Fury”. All the other Cliques fear them because they are experts in asymmetrical emotional warfare and can easily get almost anything they want. However, they are also very mistake prone and consequently, easily intimidated. In physical confrontations their weapons are limited to scratching and pulling hair.  However, Scumbag Women are to be greatly feared, especially if you’re under-aged because, while Men may kill Women and each other, Women kill their kids.

Exquisite post.  (Wily, 9/21/13)

Women fight using emotional terrorism. I grew up around a long line of Loser Women. I know. (Keithd, 9/21/13)

Women= Can of Worms. Stop Caring ®. There is no way to win with females short of outright subjugation. Avoid, dominate, or get pwn3d. (Theimmigrant, 10/13)


  1. How Nerds Rule the World                  (Exnite, 9/24/13; 10/2/13)

 Part 1: Nerd Traits

• Nerds are obedient to their parents. They ALWAYS get good grades, mostly without effort. Nerds frequently skip several grades in school. Nerds have uniformly high IQ’s, GPA’s and SAT’s. Nerds ONLY attend elite schools like M.I.T., Cal-Tech, Princeton, Rensselaer Polytech, etc. and always become STEM majors, unless they drop out to join an e-sports team.

• ALL Nerds have B.S.-Level, not just B.A.-level, math skills, and ONLY take liberal arts classes when absolutely required to do so. Sometimes they fail these classes.

• Nerds are not motivated by money or power. They only crave the approval of other Nerds and high level equipment in role playing games. They value engineering/scientific attainment, awards, and authorship of scholarly papers published in obscure Journals that NO ONE reads.

• The Nerd Phenotype is a poor physique (weak, very tall or very short; very fat or very thin); a total lack of athletic skills; messy/wild hair; neckbeards; when they’re not LARPING (Live Action Role-Playing), their dress is slovenly and their shoes don’t match; they wear fedoras; and drool is often coming out of the corners of their mouths. They always smell like a mixture of McDonald’s, Mountain Dew and formaldehyde. Nerds are timid, absent-minded and ALWAYS have poor eyesight, from an early age. Some are BORN with glasses. In later life, their glasses become the thickness of Coke bottles and are attached to their faces PERMANENTLY.

• Nerds never self-aware unless they operate a stream on Nerds never face reality on a personal level, only at the scientific/technological level.

• Nerds are not conscious sociopaths; they are simply oblivious to all other human beings, or autistic. They do not understand other people and do not care. When a Nerd does become a sociopath, like Ted Kaczynski, it is because of mental illness induced by their Nerdness. Nerds seek out Women that look EXACTLY like their Mothers or their favorite anime character.

  • Sex Life:Nerds can usually be found on Saturday nights with their Princess Lea doll in their left hand (unless they’re left handed). Sex is done in the dark and under the covers, after which Nerds retire to their research labs, or to their videogame consoles for a WoW or Eve all-nighter. Orgasm only occurs the next day, when Half-Life 3 is announced on Steam.•Nerds cannot write, only compute. When Nerds read, they completely skip the narrative and go straight for the data embedded in the charts and graphs. They talk quietly and dispassionately in Techspeak, incomprehensible to all other human beings EXCEPT other Nerds.• Nerds are not into serious music. Nerds like Star Trek and Star Wars themes, video-game tunes, etc. They are good with musical instruments and sometimes have careers as virtuosos, but they are unmoved by the beauty or rhythms of music: technical performance is all that matters. Run-of-the-mill Nerds usually just like some really bizarre music only other Nerds know about, like Can or Ozric Tentacles. (Edit by Shithead, 10/2/13)
  • Nerds are unfunny, except among other Nerds who understand the Doctor Who references.

Nerds never venture out of their Lanes. They don’t even understand the concept of non-Nerd Lanes.

• Nerds don’t go to Law School.

 People don’t realize just how dangerous Nerds are. Nerds use diabolical means to assert their dominance over the other Cliques. These include ubiquitous credentialization, computers, computer programs, High Math, statistics, algorithms, scientific notation, equations and formulae, biotech, weapons systems and other impersonal means to control others. In this way, they never have to accept responsibility for the disastrous results that ensue. Instead, the other Cliques can be blamed for “misunderstanding” or “misusing” their inventions. Nerds are oblivious to the effects of any of these inventions and technologies on the Human World. Any technology they CAN develop, they WILL develop, and to the maximum possible extent, because technology is valuable for its own sake and because it is COOL. As long as the technology works, the Nerds are delighted. (See Hiroshima & Nagasaki, 1945).

Part 2: How Nerds Rule the World

The Cliques are constantly Jockeying for supremacy over each other. Each Clique has a nefarious plan to rule the World: Preps use money and inside connections; Women use sex and the threat of divorce; Scumbags use labor unions and the threat of physical violence; Blacks use protests and moral outrage; and Jocks use patriotism and militarism, which are the Ascended forms of Jockdom. Losers also want to rule the world, but have no way of doing so, other than clinging to a hopeless belief that the entire Clique system will somehow be overthrown one day via Revolution so that they can finally “win” (they never will).

But Nerds always stay in their own Lane. Preps try to be Jocks; Losers try to be non-Losers and Women try to be Men: but Nerds never try to pretend they are anything other than what they are. This is because Nerds know they can never win at the personal level, but they will ALWAYS win at the Clique level. In fact, they have already won and have secretly taken over the World. This is true even though they are the weakest, the most pathetic Clique of them all, and the one most detached from all other human values.

What is the weapon used by Nerds to achieve this astonishing result? Answer: through the use and misuse of credentialization, computers, and most of all STATISTICS, a pure Nerd invention.
Statistics and the conclusions of statistics trump all other non-“objective” ways of understanding reality, like intuition used by Preps; or gut feel, used by Scumbags and Losers; or “emotional “intelligence” used by the Women Clique. Nerds love statistics because it reduces flesh and blood human beings to mere numbers and digital data which can be fed into computer programs, the only thing Nerds understand. This is perfect, because no one else really understands statistics or computer programs and yet the entire world is run by them.

Nerds have thus taken over many areas of the world misusing statistical models, and the damage has been incalculable. From grade schools to law schools to high science, stats dominate every field of human endeavor. Entire fields of questionable “science” are wholly built on the misuse of stats: psychology, sociology, anthropology, etc. Read any scientific journal or magazine: every article is dominated by mostly incomprehensible statistical analysis, presented by Nerds.

Nerd Political Quants: In Political “Science” (the most bogus social science field of them all), elections are now entirely driven by stats crunched by Nerd Political Quants. Their “voter models” are the basis for redistricting, gerrymandering and subsequent electioneering that allows politicians to subvert democracy and steal elections. Obama owes his re-election ENTIRELY to Political Quants, even though the Democratic Party and the country soured on his “leadership” long ago. Political Quants have taken over the political process and are actually the ones in control, not our “elected representatives” who are nothing but front men and paid stooges for the Nerds running the show behind the scenes. This is what every Loser political science major dreams about doing, but they aren’t smart enough.

Climate Change Quants: The cutting edge of Quant Supremacy in science is now in “Climate Change”, where Nerds have constructed “sophisticated” climate models driven by entirely erroneous or manipulated data. The “scientific” results of these fraudulent models are used as the basis of demands by fanatics that TRILLIONS of dollars be diverted to their governments (the ones who just happen to be the ones sponsoring their research) to “solve” the problem of Climate Change. But Climate Change is actually wholly impervious to human intervention. This suits Scientific Nerds just fine because human intervention is the last thing Nerds want in any Nerd endeavor.

Nerd Financial Quants: Finally, in Finance, Nerd Quants almost succeeded in crashing the entire world economy in 2008 with hundreds of exotic, highly combustible financial instruments they have concocted, entirely driven by fraudulent statistics. These “vehicles” are an alphabet soup of fraud, such as CDO’s, MBS’s, SIV’s, SPV’s and SOE’s, etc., and limited only by the warped imaginations of Financial Engineers and developed to the Nth degree of sophistication by Nerd Financial Quants. The financial trading programs they have set up are now completely divorced from all human control or oversight. Nerds have deliberately made these programs so complex and opaque that no human being, no matter how high their I.Q., can comprehend them, much less how they interact. Not even Ascended Nerd Quants understand them, even though CEO’s may pretend to when they appear as guests on Cramer’s “Mad Money”. All Banks hold each other’s “paper” (nothing more than a collection of computer programs that are carried as “assets” on bank balance sheets – LOL) and trade them on high speed computers, also programmed and controlled by Nerd Quants. Neither the Preps who run the Banks nor the Quants who run the programs have the slightest idea what they’re doing.

The Nerds promise a sequel to 2008 with their stat-driven financial Derivative instruments which now amount to $2 Quadrillion in nominal “value” compared to the GDP of Planet Earth of just $100 Trillion. (That’s a 20 to 1 debt-to-income ratio for you non-quantitative Losers) The TBTF Banks are leveraged up to a ruinous 50 to 1 debt-to-assets ratio using these bogus programs. That’s enough to easily wipe out all the wealth in the world instantaneously. That is why Losers are becoming survivalists. The next financial crash will dwarf the last one, and thanks to Nerds we will soon all be living in caves.


This is why Nerds ALWAYS stay in their Lane, how Nerds run the World, and why everyone either hates Nerds now or soon will.



  1. The Future, by Clique (Halloween Post)                       (Exnite)

Any one of these prospects is enough to cause sleeplessness, but only one is truly terrifying.

Preps: Continue the Plutocracy forever. Either no governments at all, or a bought-and-paid-for World Government operated of, by and for the Prep 1%ers. Transform the entire Earth into a sweat-shop for the 99% who become permanently indentured wage-slaves. Wait a minute, we already have that. OK, physically separate the 1% from the rest of unworthy humanity, a la Elysium. Preps wish they could simply exterminate the other Cliques, who they see as mere Hoi Polloi, but they’re not smart enough to figure out how to do it without exterminating themselves in the process.

Jocks in their Ascended form are the Military, and their visionary is John McCain (Jock Version of Islam’s Call to Faith). Their vision of the future is continuous Oceania-style low-intensity global warfare that has no purpose and never ends. Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, etc. are but the opening moves of a monstrous plan to militarize and warfare-ize the Planet. The Military Industrial Complex will the main beneficiary, Ja? Wait a minute; we already have that, too.

Nerds: Implement the Forbin Project, i.e. the entire World run by a gigantic Computer or network of self-programming computers with no human input, and policed by a race of Robots and autonomous vehicles like Terminator-style HK’s. May result in the extinction of the human race, with Nerd brains uploaded into a Tron-like Virtual World. This would be heaven for Nerds. We don’t have this yet, but the Nerds are working 24/7 to make it happen.

Losers: Losers are already becoming Preppers, (an ironic name, considering we’re discussing Losers) i.e. survivalists and their ilk, hoarding supplies and preparing bug-out bags, ready to run and hide at the first sign of trouble in underground redoubts they’ve spent their meager life savings to acquire. Then they plan to re-emerge and take over the World. None of the disasters they’re waiting for will EVER happen.

Scumbags: A post-apocalyptic Mad Max World of ultra-patriotic Militias fighting it out for survival with Johnny Rambo’s using grunge technologies to survive and fight over Scumbaguettes.

Women: The neutering, feminization or extinction of all Men, regardless of Clique. This has been underway since Gloria Steinem first burned her bra. Reproduction will achieved by breeding with a stock of mindless Chippendale-hunks and male models chosen for solely their looks. The Earth will be transformed into a gigantic Shopping Mall/Day Care Center/Talk Show.

Blacks: FINALLY become the majority by out-reproducing Whites, who are already a minority versus other URM’s. Then use their majority status to overthrow the Clique System and build a society built on solid African Tribal Values. Obama is still President under this scenario.

Of the 7 above scenarios, the worst possible outcome (even worse than post-apocalyptic Earths or Human Extinction) is the nightmare future in which Losers take over, because it would mean a World run by total incompetents, a truly frightening prospect.

Excellent post. I would only add that there is a subset of High Functioning Losers who see the future not in terms of various Loser apocalypses, but in terms of world domination by Losers. Most of the crackpot dictators who seemingly came out of nowhere, with an ideology totally foreign to their society, and to human society as a whole, and who were swept into power against the backdrop of a disaster or by using Tricks, were Losers. (Like Hitler — Editor).They tend to view their job as to remake society in an image that favors Losers, but they generally end up fucking everything up and Losing. Take for example the Bond villain who wanted to shoot specific human specimens into space so that he could destroy the world and begin humanity anew. Typical High Loser claptrap. (Keithd, 11/9/13)


Add: Azns: Everyone will have to eat with chopsticks – forks and knives will be banned. White women will have to worship short Azn men like Brokenface as sex gods, or face the price. All black people will have to go somewhere else because they’re scary. Math, physics, and medicine will be the only acceptable college majors. People over 6’3″ will be culled from the population, unless they’re named Yao Ming, so short Azns won’t feel intimidated. (Wily, 1/10/13)

I knew the Vietnamese Fish Sauce thread would garner more interest than this one. (Exnite, 11/9/13)

American companies are only competitive if they have Nerds! This is why Silicon Valley is thriving. The strictness of the Clique System works in Nerds’ favor, forcing them to work in Engineering in order to impress ugly girls. Jocks are Preps carve out their rightful place at the top of society and contribute nothing of value except phenotype. Women, Losers, and Scumbags are all VASTLY inferior to their AZN counterparts in terms of utility. This is a fact. Thus, Asia will dominate all industries in the future except for those dominated by Preps, and then America will be a Pure Cliqueocracy where it’s IMPOSSIBLE for a Loser to get ahead, so High Losers won’t even exist, and Democracy will be abolished making Poly Sci irrelevant. (Theimmigrant, 12/4/13)



  1. Ridding the World of Excess Losers: The #1 Problem Facing Humanity


Nuclear weapons are plainly responsible for the huge oversupply of Losers currently taking up space on Planet Earth. The old paradigm of Prepdom starting wars and using Losers (led by Jocks) as cannon fodder has failed, and consequently Losers have bred like rabbits, with no natural check on their increase. It’s also why Liberal Arts and other useless Social Sciences have proliferated, because that’s all Losers are interested in or “good at”.

Nerds are frantically searching for a technical solution to this gravest of issues facing Humanity — how to Rid the World of Excess Losers.


One more thing for all JDU’ers to mourn: the invention of nukes probably saved Boomers like me from being sacrificed at the Altar of The War Gods*, enabling us to run the table economically. Boomers may have been the first generation in history to really escape the experience of Total War, because “Vietnam weren’t no WW2”.  (Exnite 3/30/15)


cowgod (Mar 30, 2015 – 10:07 am)

They’ve already found it and it’s been in place for decades. It’s a gradual process, though.
These Nerds are called “quants” and they are working closely with the Preps to ensure that Losers are financially unable to bear and support offspring.


Dwightyoakam (Mar 30, 2015 – 10:09 am)

cowshit beat me to it. Losers can’t hide in the face of the Postmodern Economy.


dwightyoakam (Mar 30, 2015 – 11:08 am)

And still not one ounce of sympathy for destroying jobs for Scumbags.

normshow (Mar 30, 2015 – 9:07 pm)

(Talking about Losers…) There is no hope for them, that’s the whole point. The theory simply describes a true observation, so the problem is not with the theory, but with the American people themselves. Vaccinations and antibiotics and other medical advances have allowed losers to live long enough to spawn more losers, whereas they’re supposed to die from appendicitis or get eaten by predators at a young age. Welfare has allowed about 5 generations of scumbags to have illegitimate children with each other.

In a just society, the populations of these two cliques would be naturally contained. If people understood the theory, rather than the bunk that is taught in college sociology and political science classes, they would realize that a massive imbalance of losers and scumbags is an unavoidable consequence of Socialism, and they would reject it.


stickytape4144 (Mar 30, 2015 – 3:34 pm)

Such a good thread.

  1. Q & A



  1. Question: Does a moral universe preclude the existence of Cliques?


Why would God create a world in which humans are endowed with Free Will, only to have them totally frustrated by their inability to escape the Cliques which He had them born into? (Exnite, 8/15/13)


Answer: God does not exist             (Theimmigrant, 8/15/13)


 2. Question: Can you use Punnett Squares to determine clique?
Answer: You may as well use “Hollywood Squares” for all the predictive power this “theory” has. Ridiculous.                                                                                        (Exnite, (8/2/13)

Shut up queer™. (Severian2, 8/2/13) 

Excellent Post. (Theimmigrant, 8/2/13)


  1. My son is a problem. How do I straighten him out?

Question: My Son is 16 and had to repeat a grade in elementary school due to living with his uneducated mom. He’s very intelligent but has NO FOCUS. He lives with me now. I’ve tried tutors, summer school, camps to no avail and he doesn’t seem college minded. Anyone know if military schools or camps are a good idea? Anything?! He doesn’t need to be a lawyer but it’d be great to get him into engineering. Any ideas? (Jdont, 9/27/13)


Answer: First of all, No One Cares. Second, you simply need to identify your son’s Clique. Examine his phenotype, and analyze on the brain composition of you and your Ex. For example, my mom “stopped understanding math in 9th grade” and I had the same thing happen the second I took calculus. I also got like the same SAT score as my mom if you add 100 points to compensate for brain size. My father is Stupid. Knowing this, one could identify my Clique before I was even born, or at least rule out Nerd as an option. If you’re having difficulty doing this, it’s cognitive dissonance and he just sucks. Trying going based on his Scores:

                                              High SAT: Loser

                                              Low SAT: Scumbag

Also check on his gym grades. If they’re good, he might have some Jock in him. If he’s under 6′ though just abandon all hope. (Theimmigrant, 9/28/13)

Have him read The Outline™.  It’s written at about a 5th grade level, so he ought to get it, at least the first 15 pages or so. Also have him read “Portrait of a Loser”, by friendlybum. That one’s a classic. Once he sees what happens to Losers, he won’t want to become one. If it’s in his genotype, he’ll be one any way but maybe he can Ascend within it. 
(Exnite, 9/27/13)



  1. Question: Late Bloomers


Is there a Clique for late bloomers? I was in the Nerd clique in high school, but I didn’t like Star Trek or quiz bowl or any of the activities of the ultra-Nerds. However, now I am becoming a classy gentleman. I like books and science, which would qualify me as still belonging to the Nerd clique.


I know many people who are much Nerdier but are unemployed and sit at home writing Facebook posts about graphics cards. I feel like there should be a distinction between true goofy Nerds and a man who uses his scientific aptitude to earn money. (Normshow, 5/8/13)


Answer: Loser. (Theimmigrant, 5/8/13)



5. What purpose do Preps serve?

Question: Nerds design things, Scumbags build things and fight with people, Jocks have athletic prowess, Losers take bad bobs and occasionally create inspired works of art, or find interesting ways to rationalize their ignominy. But what the fuck do Preps do? Is the sole purpose of Preps to pwn other cliques so that order can be maintained?  (Abazungu, 8/30/13)


Yes. Same as Lords and Vassals in the middle Ages. They also ace job interviews for useless jobs like Vice President or Manager of Losers.  (Theimmigrant. 8/30/13)



  1. At what point in life to Cliques manifest and how soon are they enforced?


Question: My high school was like 40% Scumbag and 40% Loser, and that kind of ratio makes it hard to enforce a strict Clique System because such a small number of students have Prep DNA. When I got to college I thought that the Cliques were more pronounced than in high school, as evidenced by a conspicuous dearth of Scumbags, and an abundance of Preps who possess an arrogance informed by excelling in academics and not having a shitty phenotype, that ordinarily would earn ridicule back in my high school, where a Preponderance of Scumbags meant that the true test of personhood was not phenotype or GPA, but dick size, intimidation, throwing down, drinking/drugs, and getting laid ASAP. For Losers, high school is like the kiddy pool of Losing, and college is like the 400m breaststroke. Losers in college truly come into their own as Losers, pursuing liberal arts degrees that literally do nothing but PROVE they are Losers. They also have awkward interactions with roommates and earn no one’s respect, ever. Maybe 3 times in 4 years they get lucky with female Losers because the latter are insecure and had inattentive upbringings. (The Loser’s Dad’s involvement in his academics starts and ends with his determining if you can collectively get all your shit into the dorm room in one trip).


I suspect that walking into a high school outside Elite Caucasoid Mecca’s like Chicago, Arlington, or Raleigh-Durham, the Cliques would be so obvious that even Science would have no choice but to acknowledge it, and its implications. (Theimmigrant, 9/1/13)


Your story doesn’t preclude the existence of strict Cliques. It just means you were lower on the Loser totem than fat kid with glasses. Just because he was a more socially confident Loser doesn’t eliminate his Loser-ness. Put him in a room with a Prep or a Scumbag and he will be back in his Loser place right away. Cliques are always adhered to strictly, we can’t help it. If you believe they aren’t being adhered to it is because you are a Loser who is wishful thinking.  (Murdock, 9/1/13)

  1. What is the difference between aCliqueless Loser vs. Becliqued Loser?


Please explain the difference to me.   (Cavebro, 9/2/13)




Doesn’t anyone read their outlines anymore? Losers can at times join their own inclusive cliques, some even becoming Hipsters and Goths. These Losers have embraced their Loserdom to a certain degree and can associate with fellow Losers and actually have friends, these are becliqued Losers. Cliqueless Losers are loners, they don’t belong anywhere and they don’t have any friends.   (Onefortheteam (9/2/13)


As we’ve discussed before, Losers are people who are genetic exclusions from any given population’s Cliques. Anyone who doesn’t fit into one of the American Castes:  Jock, Prep, URM/ORM, Nerd, or Scumbag — is a Loser. Losers, being self-aware, are quite cognizant that something “just isn’t right” when they end up having No Friends or Bad Friends, moving furniture alone or being asked by other Losers to play municipal golf while their Prep and Jock buddies spend the day with their girlfriends, or wives and kids. Or when they bomb job interviews and the implication is that it’s because they just suck as a person.


This leads Losers to try and form their own faux-Cliques in order to trick the other Cliques into thinking that they are not Losers. Also, to give them the same advantages as other Cliques, such as getting members of the Clique in a position to hire other members of the Clique, and to have someone to attend pub trivia with. The predominant attempts at Loser Cliques include Hipsters, Goths, Emo’s, etc. The most successful at present seems to be the Hipster Clique. But it’s important to remember that every Becliqued Loser is still a Loser. Any Loser Clique is a manufactured Clique, not based on genotype and phenotype, but based on shared ignominy and an attempt to combat it. (Keithd, 9/13)


A Loser who is comfortable with his fate enjoys the most stress-free existence possible. (Shithead, 9/2/13)




  1. So…according to Clique Theory I’m a Loser?


Question: I understand that CT is based off immutable genotypes but phenotype varies considerably depending on the environment. Putting a Loser in an environment where he can have a low 6 fig salary should at least put him at High Loser or something (I prefer the term winner). My reasoning is that Losers cease to be Losers once they have achieved their target goals and maximized their potential. The majority of Losers continually fuck it up and stay miserable, but what about the ones that manage to slip through the cracks and achieve their ends? (Pharmstudent, 9/3/13)


Answer: YES. There are no winners in Clique Theory. It’s all an existential crisis with no exit.  (Sammalone, 9/3/13)


 8. (A) Question: Why do all my friends hate me? (Josephine, 10/8/13) Answer: All pwning aside, Josephine, your friends hate you because they are Losers, and Losers are notorious for pwning other Loser, namely you.  (Keithd, 10/8/13, heavily edited by exnite)

Josephine, you say you say you are a Prep. Old Money? Finishing school? Exclusively mated to other Preps? Ivy League? Or High-end exclusive all-women’s college  like Swarthmore, Barnard, Vassar, Bryn Mawr, Holyoke, etc. High Cheekbones?  Answers must be yes to all of the above, or you’re hiding something… (Exnite, 10/8/13)

I have high cheekbones. (Josephine, 10/8/13)

LOL. (Exnite) 

  1. Question: Can a Loser be rich? Say for instance he inherited a trust fund. Is he just a High Loser then?

Answer: A Rich Loser is High Loser. Becoming a High Loser is due to a combination of factors. One factor is almost always playing your cards right or getting Good cards. Take out right place/right time and most High Losers just Lose. Without like Vietnam, two Kennedy assassinations, Civil Rights, and riots at the Democratic convention, Richard Nixon would never have been president. It took ALL of those things together to make him president. High Loser basically means “perfect storm” happened. (Theimmigrant, 10/1/13)  10. Does Clique Determine Character? Question: Can you accurately assess someone’s character by determining their Clique? Answer: Yes. Character is Evident in Phenotype. Stop saying that people with Bad phenotypes can have Good personalities. No they can’t. Personality and character itself comes through in phenotype. No one with a Bad phenotype has ever had a Good personality. This is like saying that unicorns are real. People with Bad phenotypes are either Aspies, assholes, pussies, sociopaths, or have some cocktail of mental illnesses. None of them are charismatic, magnetic, moral, ethical, hard-working Excellent Men. The Bad phenotype/Good personality individual is sort of like the Noble Savage, a literary creation of liberal arts. (Theimmigrant, 10/1/13) Consider the Russian Dictator, Stalin. Apparently Stalin also had a deformity to his arm, a face full of scars from some childhood disease, and came from Scumbag stock. Do you really think someone like this is going to NOT become a terrorizing dictator if given power? It’s pretty much the recipe for a High Loser if you throw in a Good IQ, put him in the right place at the right time, and give him Madness (comes from Losing). (Keithd, 10/ 1/13) Stop Caring ® about the liberal arts. Stalin’s madness was evident in his phenotype, because character itself comes through in phenotype. That’s why people always refer to George Washington’s height, and say, “Oh, what an Excellent Man™  he was!” Do they ever speak of Thomas Jefferson’s height? To ask that question is to answer it. That’s because he was a Loser. (Theimmigrant, 10/1/13)

As KarlFarbman knows, I was searching for a dentist. I googled one today because he has a shop in my area, and I viewed his website and determined that he is a Loser from his phenotype. I then scoured the Internet for patient ratings, and found, quite naturally, very poor ratings from his patients, who accuse him of things like wanting to fill non-existent cavities or being “drill-happy.” I then googled another dentist that was recommended to me, whose phenotype suggests he’s a Prep, and who works with other dentists who are Jocks. Of course, his ratings are stellar, and people say things like, “What a wonderful man he is!”

This is just Clique Theory in action. The Loser Loses, but he brings it upon himself by essentially being amoral and viewing life as a battle between himself and the world around him. He also probably has Madness from being pwned in Dental School and coming out with $400k in student loans. Meanwhile, the Prep dentist feels a sense of Noblesse Oblige to the community and used his “family money” to pay off his student loans, and the Jocks used athletic scholarships and money won from beer pong competitions. That’s why they are Excellent Men while the Loser Loses.

This is what I’ve been saying, Kieth. The Loser has no loyalty to anyone else, even other Losers. You assumed that his Bad phenotype would make him more likely to aim to please, but instead it just makes him Bad all around. When phenotype is Bad, the rest of you is Bad as well. This is why Clique is immutable. (Theimmigrant, 10/1/13)

  1. Is it possible for a Loser to pull himself off as a Jock?

Question for Cliquemasters: I know cliques are immutable, yada, yada, but if a Loser lives in the gym, takes protein powder, etc., gains muscular weight and loses fat, what’s stopping him from pulling this off? (Diarrheaboy, 9/19/13)

Answer: Pretty much all you could do is briefly *feign* membership in the Jock Clique, and only to non-Jocks, and only long enough to MAYBE get a job interview or get laid like once. But the jig will soon be up, as you will eventually open your mouth and say something un-Jock-like, or you will be pwned by any other Jock who interacts with you and who will realize that you are not a Jock instantaneously.

What’s stopping you from actually changing lanes is genotype and phenotype. If you were a Jock, you would have been playing sports and living in the gym all your life, because that’s what your genetic composition would have been telling you to do. The fact that you instead were drawn towards liberal arts, Posting, and World of Warcraft shows that you are a Loser. This means that your genetic composition is not consistent with Jockitude and will fight your efforts to become a Jock every step of the way, like when you pull a muscle and are taken “out of commission” on your third trip to the gym.

One time was when I decided to join a gym and try to get in shape. But naturally, being a Loser, my faulty genotype and phenotype just ensured that I did something wrong that messed me up for weeks (as Wily often says, Force Majeure interfering to make sure I stay in my lane). The second time I have no idea what happened. My lower back just hurt like a bitch for a couple of weeks. (Keithd. 9/19/13)

Even if they don’t get injured in .5 seconds, Losers simply respond terribly to exercise. Wily cannot even run 200 meters. When Losers lift, even if they become Strong, they always have like no muscle tone. Their Loser phenotype remains, whether they bench 100 or 280. (Theimmigrant, 9/19/13)

It’s basically impossible.

Losers have ZERO “upward mobility.” Preps and Jocks and easily move into Scumbag territory and back. Some are even hybrid Jock/Scumbag, Prep/Scumbag types. Losers cannot be a hybrid. Even Losers who commit crimes and get into fights (always getting their asses kicked) can never be any other than a Loser. The only thing Losers can do is move from being a Loser to a high Loser.


And yes, a Loser can move into a Scumbag type job, but he needs to keep his head down and stay in his lane. Otherwise the Scumbags will have no mercy.                       (Greenhorn, 9/25/13)


  1. What is the biggest obstacle for a Loser to pull off being a Scumbag?Question:So let’s say a Loser is tired of losing, and wants to make an honest living as a baggage handler, or other Scumbag occupation. What is the biggest tell that he is not a Scumbag? A lack of a muscular physique? Or a refined speech that indicates a liberal arts education? (Diarrheaboy, 9/24/13)

    Answer:  You see it in their eyes. The Loser averts his gaze while the Scumbag stares back with nonchalant ease. (Francescadirimini, 9/24/13)

When a Loser is trying to pretend he’s a Scumbag, he faces multiple insurmountable obstacles: trying to hide a bad phenotype, trying to disguise having too much education, vocabulary, etc. and then trying to fake a Scumbag’s toughness and manual skills. (Exnite, 9/24/13)

It’s basically impossible. Losers have ZERO “upward mobility.” Preps and Jocks and easily move into Scumbag territory and back. Some are even hybrid Jock/Scumbag, Prep/Scumbag types.
Losers cannot be a hybrid. Even Losers who commit crimes and get into fights (always getting their asses kicked) can never be any other than a Loser. The only thing Losers can do is move from being a Loser to a high Loser.

And yes, a Loser can move into a Scumbag-type job, but he needs to keep his head down and stay in his lane. Otherwise the Scumbags will have no mercy. (Greenhorn, 9/25/13)



  1. Question: Are White Jocks relevant anymore?


“The true white Jock no longer exists to the extent it once did due to the democratization of sports. Back in the 1940s George Bush could play first base for Yale. His son had to settle for cheerleader. Had Bush the first been a Boomer he couldn’t have been a true Jock.


Now that blacks dominate sports from high school on, white Jock theory is losing its relevance.” QED (Anotherjd, 5/ 7/13)


Answer: Excellent post.  

(Theimmigrant (5/7/13)



  1. Question: Can Scumbags be Hipsters? (Wily, 7/31/13)



Someone asked if Scumbags could be hipsters: the answer is no. Scumbags resort to scumbadgery primarily DUE TO responsibility (often occurring early in life due to neglectful or abusive parenting). The Scumbag is always “trying” to do something (often to launch a nascent rap career) but failing. Scumbags are generally stupid. That’s why even the children of the wealthy can become Scumbags. If you are weaker than a Minnesota bridge – any load is too heavy, and any responsibility is too much.


One of the things I admire about Hipsters is that they’ve managed to create the closest thing to a functional “Loser Clique” that modern America has ever seen. They are able to get together without pwning each other or attempting to establish dominance, they don’t immediately knife each other in the front once the other Cliques are present to see it, and they can actually show up at inter-Clique events and not immediately have everyone in the room keep a careful watch on them to make sure they’re not veering from their lane (i.e., just watch what happens at any social event anywhere when a Cliqueless Loser tries to hit on a Woman — 3-5 people will swoop in to Stop it within .5 seconds).

Note how Hipsters have carefully emulated the Higher Cliques in their behavior. They have “uniforms,” just like the other Cliques — in their case, Hipster clothing. They have common intra-Clique hobbies and activities and lifestyles. They are probably the closest thing to a Clique propre that Losers could ever hope to have.

There really do need to be more Loser Cliques for different types of Losers. Losers need to Stop thinking that they can fake their way into the Jock or Prep Clique. No they can’t. A Loser can spend hours if not days if not weeks or months practicing “Prep” dress, body language, and mannerisms, only to be identified by the real Preps as a Loser once he has one bad day and comes out of character for like thirty seconds.  (Keithd, 10/1/13)

  1. Question: Does marriage alter Clique? What about inter-Clique dating?


Actually, he was a hipster dirtbag, and I was nicely dressed in a navy dress and white blazer with my hair in a French twist. I’m also not a Scumbag. According to Clique Theory, Clique is genetic and genes can’t be altered by marriage. (Babylawyer, 8/1/13)


  • Answer: Excellent Understanding of Clique Theory. I’m not against interracial dating, however I am vehemently opposed to inter-clique dating.  Yesterday on the subway I saw a couple violating the laws of Clique Theory and thereby endangering the stability of the fabric of space-time. (Cavebro,  9/13/13)
  • By trying to leave your lane, you are experiencing the ignominy of inter-Clique dating. A Woman will always try to find a man who will give her status within her Clique. So a Woman who has all her life hung around with Preps and Jocks is going to go for a Prep or Jock guy, even if she secretly knows the name of Boba Fett’s ship or has tried to move things using “the Force” when no one was around. The reason is that if this Woman were to bring home a Nerd or a Loser, even if he’d make her objectively happy, her family and friends would look down on her for it, and they wouldn’t want to hang out with him because he sucks.  (Ignominy, 9/28/13)
  • Scumbags have a social life. Would you like me to walk to my corner bar and provide photographic evidence? Losers have no social life, I’ll give you that. They’re self-loathing and hate to be seen with their own kind. (Ellellou, 9/29/13)
  • The problem is that Losers are most likely to pwn their own kind. This is why they have no incentive to hang out with each other, because of negative reinforcement from all that pwning. Jocks and Preps are actually very unlikely to pwn Losers. They tend to be polite and respectful, as Higher Castes always are, and they reject Losers matter-of-factly while allowing them to maintain their dignity as long as they stay in their lane. This is where Hollywood has it wrong. Losers don’t suffer because of pwnage by Jocks and Preps. Losers suffer because they are INCAPABLE of getting along with other Losers. They eat their own out of some misplaced belief that doing so will allow them to change lanes. (Keithd, 9/29/13)


  1. Question: Is here more divorce among inter-Clique couples?(Keithd, 8 20/13)


Answer: Yes. The Inter-clique divorce rate blows away the divorce rates of any other demographic.

Imagine your garden variety Scumbag couple. The Scumbag Woman gets off at the prestige of climbing into a big truck, all her Scumbaguette friends are envious when she describes the size of her husband’s cock (Scumbag means well hung), and she feels safe due to his feral instincts which leads him to get into fistfights whenever threatened. His criminal record is a badge of honor.

Or how about the Prep couple, constantly focused on buying a bigger home or better car? Or the Nerd couple, going to Comic Con dressed as Jar Jar Binks and Slave Leia? Or the Loser couple, going to pub trivia together, knowing all the answers to the “classical mythology” section, and getting Bad service from waitstaff? These are the ties that bind. This is Clique propre.

This is why you stay in your lane. Losers especially like to venture out and form relationships with their betters, and then get pwned for it. A Loser Woman marries a Scumbag man and then ends up physically and psychologically abused, taking out various restraining orders against him and foregoing liberal arts for a Scumbag life, not realizing she could have had a guaranteed $43,350/yr job just for being in the Woman Clique. Or a Loser catches the eye of a Hot Preppy Girl, and then spends his life trying to live up to her Prep bitch friends’ expectations.


  1. Question: The purpose of job interviews is determining Clique. As a Loser, what is the best/worst type of person to be interviewed by?Prep? Jock? Woman? Another Loser?(Karlfarbman, 8/19/13)

Answer: From Best to Worst…

Loser – Will Clique with you during the interview, laugh at your dorky jokes, and not be threatened that you will take his job because, hey, Loser.

Prep – Chances are high they will decide that you’re “not a good fit,” i.e., Loser, but the Prep has been conditioned since childhood to be respectful without actually Respecting you, and he will at least not overtly pwn you during the interview.

Jock – The interview will be fun but there’s no way he’ll hire you, because he’ll take one look at you and realize that a game of hoops every Thursday after work with you just isn’t going to happen.

Scumbag – Will spend the interview wondering whether he can take you in a fist fight, and will attempt to subtly establish dominance, since all Scumbags understand is relationships based on intimidation and power. If a High Scumbag, will have a chip on his shoulder about his Scumbag roots and will not hesitate to bring this up during the interview.

Woman – Since Women live perpetually in a high school mindset, even interviewing you is akin to being seen talking to a Loser in the hallway between classes. Her social status is going down every time she asks you whether you’re a “self-starter.”

Boomer Anything – Will spend the interview talking about Vietnam, the ’60s, how he went to school on the money he earned from his summer job, bootstraps, pwn you for your student loan debt, ask you why you don’t own a home, and then Not Hire You.  (Keithd, 8/19/13)

For a Loser Woman, the worst is a Prep Woman, the kind that would have laughed her ass off if you had tried to be a pledge at her sorority.

Even if you’re wearing exactly the same outfit and are the same height and weight, she will look 20X better simply by being a Prep. Just sitting in the same room with her will make your Loser status obvious. She will alternate between being mean and condescending during the interview and will make fun of you to her colleagues the moment you leave. After you leave, you will promptly go outside to bawl. (Francescadirimini, 8/19/13)

Congrats – you just “got” Clique Theory. (Keithd, 8/19/13)


  1. Why Couldn’t I get the $11/hr. Airline Handler job I applied for?


Question: “I was rejected for an $11/hr airline baggage handler job today. After a short phone interview with an airline recruiter, the airline sent me an e-mail saying I didn’t meet the “basic qualifications” of the job. What a bunch of bull. I met all the qualifications. I work out four times a week and can lift a lot more than 70 pounds. I made sure to write in my cover letter that (even though I graduated from Law School), I was done with law and wanted to work in the airline industry in a non-lawyer capacity. I also highlighted experience in physical labor, something I did years ago, and stressed that I was in the best shape of my life. Why didn’t I get the jerb?”

Answer: She could obviously tell that you were not a member of the Scumbag Clique (which is the actual qualification needed to be an airport luggage handler) and were instead a cliqueless Loser trying to lateral into a decent Scumbag wage. STAY IN YOUR LANE.  (Diarrheaboy, 9/15/13)

  19. Question: Should CT be taught in the Schools, instead of useless liberal artist subjects like Lit and History? (Exnite 8/22/13)

Answer: It all depends on the Clique of the child:

Preps: Preps are born knowing the short-cut version of CT theory anyway, which is that they are inherently superior to all other Cliques and all other human beings. Either you’re a trust-fund Prep kid, or you’re a member of the Hoi Polloi. Female Preps should only be taught one overriding CT principle: never marry anyone who is outside of the Prep Clique. This keeps old money “in the family”. This is why they train to be debutantes, not rocket scientists.

Jocks: They’re not good at academic stuff anyway, and since the only thing that matters in the life of a Jock is athletic feats of prowess, just send them off for a few extra sessions in the weight room.

Nerds: There is no use teaching CT to Nerds since, although they will “get it” instantly, they’ll only be able to apply it theoretically, not in real life situations.

Losers: Should only be taught CT AFTER they’ve failed at everything else: high school, sports, romance, undergrad, Law School etc. This is because even if they learned CT at an early age, they’d fuck it up anyway since this is what Losers always do.

Women: They already know CT instinctively, i.e. never marry a Loser or Scumbag, look for a handsome Jock or Prep, etc. The problem is women repeatedly keep making elementary mistakes like marrying Scumbags and Nerds, even though they should know better. This is why Penny will eventually marry Leonard, making both of them miserable.

Scumbags: Beating CT into Scumbags wouldn’t do any good because they can’t comprehend or apply conceptual information. Use the time to acquire additional trade skills in Shop Class.

Blacks (Quasi-Clique): There’s no use trying to teach it to the Trayvons and Rachel Jeantels of the world; the only question is whether it should be taught to kids who have the potential to be High or Ascended Blacks. It would probably just piss them off, because according to CT, the barriers to entry into the Cliques are insurmountable no matter what level of attainment an outsider reaches. Even if you end up being Obama, you will just end up serving the interests of the other Cliques. “Stay in your Lane”.  ·         Exquisite post. I would just add a couple of things: (Keithd, 8/22/13)

Nerds’ problem is more that they would have no interest in CT, just like they have no interest in liberal arts or sex. Nerds are essentially walking brains. Their bodies are vestigial and they are social black holes. They know liberal arts don’t Matter from an early age. Ironically, their lack of interest in liberal arts is similar to that of Scumbags, their polar opposite in many other ways.

You are correct that Prep is essentially a manufactured Clique whose purpose is to concentrate wealth. Prepdom wouldn’t be possible if it weren’t foolishly aided and abetted by the Woman Clique. As the immigrant has noted, Preps deserve to get their asses kicked for like 80 percent of their usual behaviors (ignoring you when you talk, whining to their girlfriends like a man-child, etc). But if you actually do kick their ass, the Prep always wins in the criminal justice system or in the eyes of society. This is solely because Women support Prepdom. Non-Prep men do not. Like, none of them. But men want pussy, so they will defer to Women on this one. Why Women protect the Prep Clique against being eviscerated by the stronger Jocks, Scumbags, and even Losers is a mystery that needs to be explored in future Posts.

  1.  Question: Why does my Brother want to Drop Out of College again?(wily 3/9/15)

WTF is wrong with us and formal education?

He just dropped out of an advanced comp sci class. And in an engineering course where students are being put into 5-person teams and the teammates evaluate each other’s performance, the other students are only giving him “5%” or “0%” ratings. So he says he hates all of his classes, can’t focus, wants to drop out of college, and … go to THAILAND. I don’t know why Thailand. He said something about the Internet being cheap there and there being IT jobs there (??).

Since he made like $2000 doing some freelance coding, he thinks he can just drop out and make a living doing it. He’s wrong. He spends like hundreds of hours on this, and $2k is all he made – that’s not enough for a living. And he’ll never get hired by a major tech company. He just doesn’t understand how good he has it if he can just push through and get that CS bachelors, and how hard it’s going to be if he drops out.

We don’t know what to say to him. We all agree that he shouldn’t go to a psychiatrist, after what they did to me. The psychologist he went to once told him it’s fine to drop out if he wants to, haha. He also has made like, no new friends there, and joined zero activities, so he doesn’t have anyone his age to discuss this with except his roommate and a few friends from back home.

Goddamnit. He’s the one who’s supposed to do well in our family.


Age 18-19 is also when you realize that you’re not really the Nerd you thought you were, and you’re actually a Loser with a Capital “L”. You can’t handle college level math, science or engineering classes, you’re a social outcast and you can’t get a GF or get laid. You start having crazy ideas that you could excel if you could just Change Your Lane and go to India or Australia or Thailand or some other god*-forsaken place. But it never works, because Serial Losing sets in. That’s what’s going on here.

He could try transferring to a Loser College where he’ll be happier, and maybe switching over to Liberal Arts, but really he should just Man Up, tell his Parents and Bro to Fuck Off and head for Thailand, where he’ll confirm all of the above. The only thing you can do to help him now is have him take a Crash Course in CT by reading The Outline.  (Exnite 3/9/15)

  1. Someone explain how the alpha/beta dichotomy works in Clique Theory.Surely all preps aren’t alpha. (Severian2, 11/17/13)Generally speaking all Cliques except Loser and Nerd are alpha. Losers have self-consciousness, which Scumbags do not. Nerds just don’t care. Jocks and Preps have self-consciousness but unlike Losers have confidence. (Ellellou, 11/17/13)Preps, also, are not always alpha. (Theimmigrant, 11/17/13)Alpha and beta are social constructs.What truly Matters is Clique. Social interaction creates the illusion that certain people are alpha and others are beta, but these personality traits are the product of Clique. Example: Good genotype and phenotype equals people treating you well, confidence, and low mental illness, which equals alpha. (Keithd, 11/17/13)
  1. How long would it take me to eat half a stick of Margarine?

Please support your responses with Clique Theory citations. silk (Oct 14, 2015 – 6:18 pm)

In about ten minutes assuming you melt it over a bag of microwave popcorn. Where Clique theory comes in is:

  1. A) No self-respecting PREP consumes margarine in any form, and certainly not on MICROWAVE popcorn;
  2. B) NERD’S snackfood of choice is Skittles, not popcorn
  3. C) JOCKS don’t eat popcorn because it’s not on their training menu — too few calories;
  4. D) Scumbags eat chilidogs and pork rinds, not popcorn;
  5. E) URM’s are into drugs, not snack food; and
  6. F) Small brained wimmen won’t touch fat of any kind out of respect for their only desirable attribute: their bodies.

That leaves LOSER which the OP obviously is, by process of elimination. A Loser like a circus geek might eat a stick of margarine on a bet, but run-of-the-mill Losers just post their weird thoughts about this on the Internet.    Exnite (Oct 14, 2015 – 7:18 pm)21. Question: Is CT a Religion?                                (Exnite, 8/23/13)


Answer: Possibly: It certainly has all the elements of a religion.


All-Powerful, Invisible Deity = Admin
Shadowy Guru/Messiah = Theimmigrant
Chief Theologian = Keithd
Ancient Masoretic Hebrew Scribe = Exnite
Acolyte = Wily
Sacred Texts = Outline
Prayer Ritual = Posting
Focus of Evil = Clique System
Devils & Demons = Preps & Scumbags
Chief Blasphemer = Myth
Credulous Audience = Losers & Women (Same audience as Christianity)        


I am least a priest or deacon in the church of Clique.  (Wily, 8/23/13)


    Clique Religion                                                              (exnite, 6/22/14)  Preps: Believe in God, and that He reports to them and will help them accumulate more stuff. Jocks: Believe in God but that He is primarily there to help them win athletic contests. Nerds: Believe that God* can be artificially constructed and are working on it night and day. Women: Believe in God, or if they’re atheists, in “Spirituality”. Many Women believe in both simultaneously. They also will demand that you believe whatever they believe, or else. Scumbags: Believe God exists and that he’s a Conservative Republican Blacks: Believe in A Righteous and Just God, but can’t figure out why they’re still at the bottom of the Totem Pole Jews: Being the original monotheists, they believe in One g_d, not Three Gods, good for them Losers: Losers: A mixed bag here, some Losers are very religious because they’re constantly looking for a leader to tell them what to think and how to live. Only their money gets “raptured”, however, not them, and eventually belief gives way to disillusionment and cynicism. Sometimes when Losers become Atheists, they still believe Life is somehow full of meaning and purpose, the least defensible of any of the Clique positions on the subject of Religion.  *Transcendence/SkyNet  X. HERESIES        

                                     Heresy I : Clique “Theory” is a based on a purloined, overdrawn movie analogy                                                                                                                                (Exnite, 8/1/13)  Clique “Theory” is a pathetic attempt to turn the premise of “The Breakfast Club” into cosmic wisdom. It is repeated ad infinitum and ad nauseum on this Board despite being based on nothing but stereotypes from a ridiculous 1985 movie. You don’t even give writer/director John Hughes credit for the idea. Change “criminal” into “Scumbag”; “Brain” into “Nerd” etc. then add the terms “genotype” and “phenotype” to give it a pseudo-scientific ring; add a tautological conclusion, i.e. “You’ll always be whatever you were”, and Presto! There’s your Theory of Cliques. Now you have a vehicle to justify your endless stereotyping and name-calling, as well as deny the possibility that human beings can improve and transform themselves through education and hard work, the essence of The American Dream.                                “Breakfast Club” v. Clique Theory Princess = PrepAthlete = JockBrain = NerdBasket Case = LoserCriminal = Scumbag The whole purpose of CT is name-calling. In the same way that one critic excoriated Herrnstein and Murray’s The Bell Curve (about I.Q.) as ‘just a genteel way of calling somebody a nigger’; Clique Theory is just a shorthand way to label a person a ‘Loser’ or, even better, a ‘Scumbag’. It also has sexist and racist overtones, dumping all females and African Americans into dismissive, undifferentiated categories called “Women” and “Blacks”. And because it’s “thesis” is that we live in a rigid class/caste system where social mobility is impossible, it provides a facile explanation as to why it’s smug proponents are failures. “Everything is rigged, and that’s why I failed in law and in life.”  Admin: Please delete all old threads on Clique Theory  No Reply (the immigrant)

I think that you are taking the joke of Clique Theory a little too literally. Essentially, from what has posted in my time here on JDU, CT is an observation that the Breakfast Club archetypes have more relationship to career success than anything else (of course I have never understood whether inherited wealth automatically makes a Loser a winner).

It is not a real theory with real rules. (Adamb, 8/1/13)


To some people, like you (and me), CT is a joke. To others, like TI, Keithd and anotherjd, it is a systematic method of classifying people based upon intuitive value judgments and other certain semi-objective criteria. In order to communicate with the people who purport not to consider CT a joke, I adopt their mindset and engage in the Hegelian dialectical process, providing an antithesis to their thesis. If as wily suggests below, CT is still developing, there will be a synthesis of the claims bade by the original CT apologists and those, like me, who negate some of its central principles. For the onlookers who consider CT to be a joke, the joke will gain sophistication and nuances as the labeling discipline evolves. (Myth, 8/1/13)


The major flaw of Clique Theory is 1) Preps/Jocks are known to have Loser/Scumbag kids, which conflicts with the theory that it’s genetic; 2) most of the people are not one clique but are a hybrid of cliques, which kind of puts CT in a grey area. (Diarrheaboy, 8 1/13)



Heresy II. Clique Theory is unscientific and arbitrary (Myth, 8/20/13)


 I understand that Clique Theory is a sociopolitical movement that pushes back against the special snowflake nonsense. I understand that it appeals to people who went to law school to get rich, achieve status, have models and bottles, and run politics from behind the scenes.


The sociopolitical movement became a pseudoscience by making outlandish claims that cliques are determined by genotype.


The power of Clique Theory to make accurate predictions is validated by confirmation bias and bandwagon fallacies. Instead of possessing the characteristics of a scientific discipline as it holds itself out to, Clique Theory really has very little predictive power. Labeling someone as a member of a Clique is a way of substituting generalizations about people for actual insight.


Labeling methodologies like are popular with law students who need heuristics for generalizing about each other so that they can speculate about who will become rich and powerful and who will suck, so that they can decide who to focus their networking efforts towards during 1L and 2L. (Myth)


  • You are a fool. Clique is not just about phenotype, it is also about genotype, as manifested by qualities like Engineering aptitude, mental illness, and interest in liberal arts. Further, it is not enough to be good looking. Subtle clues in the phenotype give away a person’s Clique and make evident their income potential, Engineering/liberal arts preference, and whether or not they get laid. Atheistlawyer is Tall, virile, and intelligent. But he is UNDOUBTEDLY a Loser and most certainly looks like a Loser. His Clique determines his fate – unemployable for life. (the immigrant)


Clique Theory’s originators defend Clique Theory by pasting walls of text and by attempting to inhibit discussion through inappropriate burden shifting. Although it is manifest that Clique Theory is a form of liberal artistry, and not science, he places the burden on his adversaries to “scientifically prove” that basic tenets of Clique Theory are wrong.


Clique Theory has no place in science since science depends on objective observations and falsifiable assertions based upon those observations, and Clique Theory has room for neither. Clique Theory is, by its nature, subjective, and consists of making comparisons between labels and other social constructs. Since it is a form of liberal artistry masquerading as science, it is technically a pseudoscience. The way Clique Theory masquerades as science is by making grossly inaccurate absurd claims that in order to determine a person’s Clique you examine their genotype. Clique theorists do not have laboratories where they observe chromosomes and identify sequences of base pairs that specify for traits. Nobody in the history of Clique Theory has ever attempted to link a gene to any Clique Theory label, so the suggestion that a critical judgment made by a Clique theorist involves evaluation of genotype data is an empty claim designed by Clique Theory’s originators to lend scientific credibility to a discipline that is anything but. At law, Clique Theory’s originators’ transgressions would be characterized as overreaching.


The fact that the discipline is unscientific or pseudoscientific is highlighted by the ability of its theorists to create ad-hoc categories to explain away their judgments, which detracts from the falsifiability of their claims. Falsifiability of the claims made by members of a discipline is fundamental to the discipline’s characterization as a science. In biology, you can use a binomial key to figure out the genus and species of any individual who you are attempting to classify. In Clique Theory, there are numerous instances where, due to subjectivity, consensus cannot be achieved as to an individual’s Clique. For example, I say that Dennis Rodman is a Jock, but the immigrant says that he is Black, implying that the two Cliques are mutually exclusive. This is one example illustrating that there is no binomial key for determining which Clique a person is.


Under the status quo, Clique Theory attempts to stick everyone in a box, which results in round-peg-in-square-hole characterizations. It wouldn’t make sense for such a binomial key to exist, because as I have pointed out previously, Clique is a transient label that attaches to an individual, which label is a social construction that pertains more to the individual’s stage in his/her development which, contrary to the assertions of Clique Theory’s founders, often have much more to do with the individual’s present circumstances (or “station in life”) than anything related to phenotype.


The primary Clique labels concern themselves less with what people are, and more what they do in high school. In a traditional (non-Clique Theory) sense, Jocks are people who excel in sports during their childhood and adolescence. Preps are people who study for college. Losers are people who repeatedly try and fail at things.


In the traditional sense, Abraham Lincoln and Thomas Edison were Losers until they succeeded. Clique Theory has appropriated these labels and attempted to turn them into hard and fast categories for the purpose of lending credibility to its pseudoscientific labeling scheme. The labeling system is overbroad, for example, the Scumbag category, while descriptive of a large section of the population, discriminates against good, honorable blue collar people, because inclusion within the Scumbag Clique is largely a function of your station in life. A plumber who was a Jock in high school and still shares Jock values is very likely to be labeled as a Scumbag by Clique theorists because of his station in life if he resides in a trailer park.


All of the foregoing aside, the post written by TI above indicated that my argument was sandwiched between 10 paragraphs and focused on the ugly duck phenomenon, but the ugly duck phenomenon was not the heart of my argument or my thesis. My thesis was that Clique Theory’s explanatory power is largely exaggerated by its proponents. I have seen TI post about how Clique Theory is validated by all the observations he has made on LinkedIn, etc. The perceptions he has are, by and large, the result of confirmation bias.


Validating Clique Theory makes TI feel important, because he created it in a post. So whenever he sees a Jock in a VP position at a Medium Sized Company, he takes it as evidence that the basic tenets of Clique Theory (i.e. that there are chromosomes which contain sequences of base pairs that cause people to play football in high school, which in turn dramatically increases the probability of the individual becoming an executive at Fortune 500 firms) are accurate. This style of reasoning hyperbolically discounts an infinitude of complex variables which actually account for the outcomes that he is attempting to explain. When you factor out the confirmation bias, the explanatory power of the labels ascribed by Clique Theory is substantially diminished. You wind up in situations where Clique Theory labels Abraham Lincoln as a cliqued Loser early in life although he is probably the most alpha individual produced in the history of America, transcending all Cliques.


After a careful analysis I have determined that the labels ascribed to an individual by a Clique theorist are not to be scientifically credited in any respect, and in a general sense do not reflect a degree of insight that would prompt me to include Clique Theory in the methods I deploy for attempting to understand or relate to individuals.


I am more or less convinced that I matured beyond Clique Theory-ish labeling schemes sometime around 3L.


Counterarguments: (Theimmigrant)


  • You’re over-thinking this. Clique Theory is just an attempt to push back against the special snowflake nonsense, sold by Liars. (the immigrant)


No, I am not making the assumptions that career path or professional accomplishments define Clique. I consider high achievement as evidence that a person is not a Loser.


During the discussion linked to the above, neither you, or keithd,  disputed the fact that there is no scientific evidence to support the proposition that Cliques are somehow based on genotype, or dispute the assertion that the discipline is pseudoscientific in nature. Instead you argued that Clique Theory is a cultural movement that opposes the special snowflake syndrome and its dogmas should be taken as such for political reasons that had nothing to do with the veracity of its fundamental tenets. (Myth, 8/1/13)


  • I can’t understand it and it’s not calculus, it’s BS. Your critique is extremely vague. Give a fucking example, troll. (Theimmigrant, 8/1/13)


For Clique to be based on “phenotype and genotype,” Clique theorists would have to publish peer-reviewed papers linking Clique to particular genes and traits. Genes occur inside of chromosomes and consist of sequences of base pairs. The strong claim that a person’s Clique is based upon genetics is not supported by even an iota of evidence.


The fact that Clique Theory’s apologists are unable to understand the scientific arguments holding them accountable to prove their central claims reinforces the fact that Clique Theory is a pseudoscientific labeling system, which, as gladigotaphdinstead states below, is no more grounded in logic than creationism. (Myth, 8/1/13)


  • My ability to determine Clique within .5 seconds of meeting someone is itself evidence. The cultural norms that have developed around this universal ability are themselves evidence. (Theimmigrant, 8/1/13)

Yeah, it’s evidence that Clique Theory is a labeling discipline that involves making a subjective determination based upon social constructs that have very little, if anything, to do with genotype. (Myth, 8/1/13)


  • They have everything to do with phenotype and genotype. Everything. (Theimmigrant 8/1/13)




Heresy III. Veering out of your Lane is not always Disastrous (Myth)


Clique Theory predicts that failure to stay in one’s lane has catastrophic consequences. Recently while I was watching The Butler, I recognized that Martin Luther King’s disciples were intentionally staying out of their lane as a means to effect social change. Although the effects of these sit-ins did cause short-term chaos (e.g. expression of lots of hostility during the sit-ins), the results of this behavior, on the whole, were not catastrophic, but instead achieved many of the desired goals.


A flaw with Clique Theory is that it seems not to acknowledge that strategically going-out-of-one’s lane can be used constructively and does not inevitably result in catastrophic consequences. The civil rights movement was about not staying in your lane. Rosa Parks…wasn’t in her lane. Students sitting in the white section of the restaurant…not in their lane.  (Myth, 10/1/13)


  • CT says that veering out of your lane “usually” portends disaster and does “not often” result in happy endings. It’s not an absolute.


“Sometimes a person will belong to a certain Clique but be doing something totally outside that Clique’s areas of competence, such as a Loser playing professional sports or a Prep working at a gas station. This is caused by a failure of that person to stay in their lane and usually portends disaster.


People who do not stay in their Clique Lanes do not often have happy endings to their stories.”


“Staying in your Lane” is just another way of saying “A man’s got to know his limitations” or “To thine own self be true” or “Be, All that you can be, in the Ar-my”. Don’t try to be something you’re not or something you can’t be. The operative word is “be”, i.e. Existential reality. CT demands self-awareness. Phonies are not to be tolerated. (Exnite, 10/1/13)



Heresy IV. Modified Clique Theories?   

A. “Modified Clique Theory” (Alwayslowprices)

I have a hunch that Losers are actually a recent invention – say mid-1960s, really gearing up in the 1970s. My thinking is that Losers are not a separate clique, but are instead failed Preps. I’m influenced by the idea of “elite overproduction” here – read any of Peter Turchin’s work to get a more detailed explanation – but essentially, the idea is that as the population exploded in this country (and one generation’s population in particular), competition for a relatively fixed number of higher/high-status positions intensified, and large numbers of otherwise qualified individuals were left out in the cold. These would be your Losers.

A follow-on explanation for the fairly consistent identification of Losers via phenotype is that traits that were once relatively unimportant in the assignation of elite positions (physical condition, facial symmetry, confidence at time of application, etc) grew in importance as the selection process grew more competitive and tiebreakers needed to be established.


  • The thing is, Prep is kind of an artificial Clique to begin with. As we all know, Clique is based on genotype and phenotype. But Prep is a Clique based largely on familial wealth. You can’t be a Prep if you’re from a Prole background, for example. By definition, you have to be born into an upper middle class family or above to be Prep. This makes Prep more of a vestige of the Old World than anything. The Clique survives only to maintain wealth and power within the hands of particular families.So why does the Prep Clique survive, despite all of the other Cliques in the American Caste System being based on genotype and phenotype? The answer is that the Woman Clique provides protection to the Prep Clique. And since the Woman Clique controls access to pussy, the other Cliques will do what they say on this one. No one aside from Women respect the Prep Clique. Not Jocks, not Nerds, not Scumbags, and definitely not Losers.If Women decided tomorrow that Preps suck, all of the other Cliques would act like marauding hordes as they overthrew the Prep Clique, took their Women, their money, and their things. That’s because no non-Prep man respects the behavior of Preps, which is to sneer at people, not listen when they talk, and act polite while using body language to suggest that other people suck. Also, Prep men won’t confront you and whine to their girlfriend like she’s their mother. This sort of behavior would get your ass kicked normally, but Women don’t SEE it that way, and because of that, the Prep Clique survives. (Keithd, 8/27/13)

I agree with Orthodox Clique Theory’s conclusion that the main determinants of Clique are genotype and phenotype. However, I believe orthodox Clique Theory fails to account for two potentially significant challenges to its otherwise impenetrable internal logic:

*The undeniable Clique-jumping that occurred in massive numbers immediately following WWII

*That rapid changes in population structure can cause severe imbalances in a Cliqued Society accustomed to stasis/slow growth

Because of Orthodox Clique Theory’s failure to deal with these incontrovertible facts, I must present my own Modified Clique Theory.

America before the Baby Boom was a generally harsh and unforgiving place. Especially among the lower orders, disease, infant mortality, malnutrition and poverty were a very real component of day-to-day existence. These factors ensured that the sons and daughters of this America very rarely had the opportunity to stray far from the Lane into which they were born: Scumbag men were proud to cut hair and joke about spanking their wives to a newspaper reporter, Nerd men were content with their “garage projects” and ugly wives, and Jock men risked life and limb playing football in leather helmets.

However, as things improved – better nutrition, higher levels of economic output, social welfare schemes, compulsory public schooling – Prep traits that exist at some not-insignificant level across the population began to be expressed. My argument here is one steeped in epigenetics – that the environment can have an impact on what genes are expressed at what time and to whatever degree. The occasional existence and expression of these Prep traits in the lower orders was noted by none other than the late great true Liberal Artiste and Prep Extraordinaire, Thomas Jefferson. He called it the “Natural Aristocracy among Men.”

Things start to happen across the landscape when these traits are expressed among the lower orders: suddenly a group of shiftless dirty Scumbag assembly line slaves want to form a Union – but not by their own cognition, but because one of their fellow Scumbags has learned how to organize and marshal the people’s will (Prep Trait!). The rate of innovation increases exponentially, and Nerds begin banding together under the leadership of Charismatic Relatable-to-the-common-man scientists to advance civilization and American lethality (Charismatic Nerds? Prep trait!). This ball really gets rolling immediately following WWII, when literally millions of Scumbag and Jock men attend college and achieve marriage, home ownership, steadily advancing career, Defined Benefit Pensions, and in many cases, true Prepdom in the span of 15 years.

This is all well and good though – the adult working population still hasn’t grown too quickly, and although the Preps are a bit annoyed at the rhetoric and demands of the lower orders for higher compensation and benefits, they generally acquiesce and co-opt their leadership to ensure no further radicalization. There are enough middle-management roles to keep the GI Billers busy and satisfied, and still enough readily buildable cheap land in good locations for everyone to have a short commute. “The American Dream” was really just a time when all men could achieve their true and rightful Clique without too much effort or interference.

But the children of these folks – the children were fucked from the get-go. Because you see, there wasn’t the infant mortality, or the poor nutrition, or any of the other things in the environment that can prevent the expression of Prep traits. The vast majority of the Baby Boomers were extraordinarily healthy in utero, and survived to adulthood…which is where the problems begin. There are only so many slots in a society for those with Prep traits to feel comfortable in their status – only so many upper-middle management positions as consolation prizes, only so many large companies with a significant number of Scumbags to lord over, only so many good locations to build excellent homes. There is only one Park Avenue, one Chevy Chase, one Pacific Heights, etc. Things that are integral to Prepdom become more scarce, and as a result of the extremely low (or even zero) growth rate of those things, they become positional. And once positional, competition on the basis of everything but competence becomes important, as there are now more people qualified for Prepdom based on its original selection criteria (moderate to high intelligence, mildly sociopathic, strong will to power, etc) than there are places for them. And those left over in this selection process become Losers.

KeithD is also correct in his assessment of the lack of self-awareness among Nerds and Scumbags. This assessment also serves to answer the question, “What does a failed Nerd or Scumbag look like?” There really is no such thing, for without self-awareness, one is unable to comprehend “success” or “failure” on whole-life terms. Sure, a Nerd can fail at a nuclear engineering plant design competition, and a Scumbag can fail at a “Properly Regulated Crack- free Concrete Pour”, but failures such as these will never approach the intensity necessary to shatter a Nerd or Scumbag’s self image.

But where KeithD is wrong is in his assessment of the origins of a Loser’s ignominy. Under Modified Clique Theory, Loser is not a natural Clique in and of itself, but is instead a low-energy, failed state of Prep. The self-awareness of the Loser stems from the inherent daily cognitive dissonance that he must cope with and attempt to explain – he knows something is wrong (he isn’t “like the others”) but has no other guideposts other than knowledge of his continued Underperformance. The mind is attempting to fix the problem by making the Loser self-aware, in the vain hope that he is able to identify and resolve the internal conflict. However, this rarely happens, and so a variety of neuroses and mental illnesses manifest themselves.

The bottom line is that under Modified Clique Theory, the existence of Losers is a byproduct of an unprecedented population explosion combined with enormous health and societal improvements. This theory is eminently testable and applicable to situations worldwide. An excellent current example is the “Arab Spring” which is really just the violent birth of the first generation of true Losers in that part of the world.  (Alwayslowprices, 8/27/13)

Answer: WRONG!


Everyone in this thread gets things completely wrong. Clique in many ways reflects eternal truths about the human condition, but they also change slightly from age to age, and from culture to culture. Cliques are neither created or destroyed, but they may change their nature. Let me explain to you the origins of the Loser.

In the previous (pre industrial) age, the world was dominated by two groups – the Aristocracy (ancestors to Preps) and Peasants (ancestors to the modern Scumbag). Sitting between these two groups were the military (primitive Jocks) and the clergy – who are the rightful ancestors of the Loser.

Like the Loser, the clergy of pre-industrial Europe were highly literate, celibate and ultimately useless. They studied the Bible, which was the liberal artistry of the day. They would get up and pontificate about irrelevant things and would consider themselves better than the aristocracy and the military for no reason.

This all changed with the advent of industrialization. Suddenly things started to change. Education started increasing the pool of potential clerics, while simultaneously undercutting the core of clerical teaching.

The modern Loser was created, out of the clerical class, in 1848, by Karl Marx. Marx took the cleric’s bookishness and tendency to accept abstract theories as gospel and added the bitterness and entitlement that characterizes the modern Loser. He also divorced Loserdom from its original Christian origins, making it an entirely secular religion. Marxism, as it was called, became the foundation for the modern American Liberal Arts education.

The only problem was, by divorcing the clergy phenotype from the power of the church, Marx separated them from their traditional source of power over the Scumbags. For a while this didn’t matter because Marxism was able to remain influential over many Scumbags through the 19th and early 20th centuries, but as time has gone on, Losers have lost their ability to exert influence over anyone but their fellow Losers, giving them their characteristic Loserness.

Originally, there were a small number of Losers, but as the wealth of the west increased, and “education” became more widely available, the number of Losers has steadily increased. If current demographic trends continue, Losers will become the dominant clique in the USA by 2025.                                            (Thelongarmofthelaw, 8/27/13)


As Pope Immigrant I has noted in his hallmark encyclical on the subject, America has the strictest Clique system in the world. This claim is subject to papal infallibility and cannot be challenged, under penalty of heresy. But why is this the case? As Chief Theologian, I will attempt to explain this to the flock.

America’s individualistic culture is, ironically, wholly responsible for the nation’s strict Caste system, that leaves Losers constantly distrustful of one another, pwned by all the other Cliques, and left to fend for oneself when moving furniture or organizing pub trivia night. The reason America is so unkind to Losers has to do with its orientation as a fiscally conservative, socially liberal country, which flies in the face of human nature.

Humans are a herd animal. Their desire to divide into groups is innate. Societies that are fiscally liberal and socially conservative, like the immigrant’s homeland of [REDACTED], are cognizant of this reality, and force people into artificial Castes in order to prevent the much more cruel Cliques from forming. Castes can at least be organized in a way that gives each Caste dignity. Cliques are truly a Lord of the Flies style experiment.

Without Castes, Humans choose not to act as rational, enlightened individuals in their relations with each other, but instead seek out those “like” them in order to form a herd. This is instinctive. Those “like” them will most naturally be identified by genotype and phenotype. Thus, Cliques are created. Those who do not fit into any of the Cliques are Cliqueless, and are thus relegated to the status of Loser.

Being Cliqueless is, in and of itself, a sort of scarlet letter for anyone in a Be-cliqued society, because it indicates that something is “wrong with you.” This leads to all sorts of ignominy, and especially results in rejection from the Woman Clique, whose maternal instincts lead them to breed with members of Cliques who will give their children a community.

Losers have attempted to remedy this by forming Loser Cliques, the prominent one in 2013 being Hipsters. Losers have some success at emulating other Cliques through the creation of these Loser Cliques. But the majority of Losers still refuse to form a Clique with one another due to the belief that any such Loser Clique will be relegated to the bottom of the Caste system. So Losers instead attempt to pwn each other in an attempt to veer out of their lane and make their way into a Clique Propre, a fool’s errand that only ensures enmity between all Losers and that poses no threat to other Cliques.

The occasional High Loser does advance, and gives hope to other Losers, causing them to do things like major in Political Science in the hope that they will one day be Richard Nixon or Dick Cheney, two of America’s most famous Loserxecutives. (Keithd, 8/29/13)

  • Why Losers argue that they fit in multiple Cliques when confronted with Clique Theory     (Murdock)This stems from a common phenomenon I’ve observed when Clique Theory principles are discussed amongst JDUers.First off, Losers tend to be immediately interested in Clique Theory posts because of their interest in Liberal Arts and Liberal Arts theories. Preps, Jocks, and Scumbags don’t care about CT or Liberal Arts for obvious reasons which have been discussed elsewhere.That said, once Losers become aware of the content of CT, they become defensive and attempt to “express their opinion,” which they have been taught is important from their time in a liberal arts college, inevitably arguing that Clique Theory fails to capture certain nuances and that Losers can have “other cliques” too.

    They will then follow this up with an anecdotal statement about themselves like, “For example, I have some Loser characteristics, but I also have some Prep (or Jock) (or Scumbag) tendencies.”

    Sometimes they will attempt to explain what these characteristics are, and this explanation will always result in a very specific list of Loser characteristics, and a much vaguer list of what they believe to be other characteristics.

    Such statements immediately reveal the speaker to be a Loser and are effective ways of identifying Losers over the internet, where their phenotype may be ever so slightly harder to determine.

    These statements are an example of a Loser thinking wishfully based on their false belief that they are either “special” or have some modicum of control over their phenotype. Losers always want a “more nuanced” version of the theory because they have been taught that everything is always more nuanced by liberal arts. Being “more nuanced” inevitably means incorrectly describing the “Loser” clique in a less negative or less hopeless fashion, or casting other cliques in a more negative light compatible with being a Loser.

    No Prep or Jock or Scumbag makes statements like this, because they do not care about Clique Theory or liberal arts and know their Clique instinctively. It is not interesting to discuss what one both already knows and doesn’t care about, especially since they would have to be having these discussions with Losers.

    Conclusion: While Losers are able to understand the claims of Clique Theory, they instinctively argue for a “more nuanced” version of the theory, citing themselves as evidence, because they are combining wishful thinking with the liberal arts ideas that their opinion matters and that CT isn’t “nuanced” enough solely because it makes them realize they are Losers. (Murdock, 9/11/13)

(Murdock) is correct. Without acknowledging their lot in life, Losers are forever cognitively dissonant, willfully ignorant and simultaneously hyper-aware of their failings. Acknowledging their Clique doesn’t let Losers off the hook for anything but their own mental discord. Losers are too self-conscious to NOT already know deep down that they’re Losers; acknowledging as much is a means of freeing themselves from desires and wants that will forever go unrequited. (Theimmigrant, 9/11/13)



  1. Neo-Classic Clique Theory(Sandawg)


A huge flaw in classic Clique Theory is that it ascribes meaning to words more narrow than their everyday usage suggests, but when trying to explain everyday life and the interactions between people. If you want a real theory you can stick with the ordinary definitions as I have done. Evidence: observation, common sense, logic.

Now unlearn classic Clique Theory for a second. Using ordinary meaning, are all Nerds Losers? Yes. Are all Losers Nerds? No.

Stop over complicating it. It is okay to admit I have found the one, true Clique Theory. It is called Neo-Classic Clique Theory and I am its Pastor.

Seriously. Are all Nerds Losers? Yes, definitely. Every single Nerd is also a Loser. Nerds are not cool, they aren’t popular. They’re fucking Nerds!

But are all Losers Nerds? No! See? All Nerds are Losers, but all Losers are not Nerds, therefore Nerds are a Loser sub-clique. You following this, old man?            (Sandawg, 9/9-11/13)

  • Seems like your clumsy syllogism is flawed…I’ll have to check on my Copi’s Introduction to Logic before passing judgment on that one. (exnite, 9/9/13)
  • Heresy! Nerds are clearly own clique. There is some overlap with Losers… But no strict subset. Nerds can be Jockgineers, there ain’t no Losergineers. (phillybum, 9/ 9/13)
  • The genius of Clique Theory was that people fit into discrete categories, so that if you know your clique to be Loser, you won’t spend 7 years in liberal arts training and law school, for example. To say that your this percent this, that percent this, defeats the whole purpose of CT. CT’s redeeming message is stay in your lane, and make the most with what you have. If you are, say, 15% Jock, 25% Loser and 46% whatever, how do you know what lane to stay in? (Diarrheaboy, 9/10/13)
  • Excellent post. This “reformed” Clique Theory, or whatever it’s called, is doing nothing but diluting Clique Theory into meaninglessness. Next thing you know, Clique Theory will just be an excuse to have bake sales and picnics. They may even start to claim that theimmigrant is just a metaphor and never physically existed. That’s why the only true Clique Theory is classical, absolutist, Catholic Clique Theory. All the Hot Girls are into it. (Keithd, 9/10/13)



Heresy V. The 7th Clique – A New Field in Clique Theory    (wily, 10/3/13)

When we discuss Losers who are successful Losers, hipsters, intelligent Nerds who turn to the humanities or art, and pretty much everyone who doesn’t stay in their lane, we end up with a lot of contradictions. Existing Clique Theory tries to squeeze all of these into the category of Losers, whether they be “High Losers” or “becliqued Losers.” I’ve come up with a new clique that properly categorizes people who currently don’t fit into existing cliques.

Lo and behold. They are Rebels.

Rebels are a Clique that is composed of all people who do not live up to what is expected of them. The child of Scumbags who ends up composing masterworks of art and music. The lawyer who rebels against the monotony of his profession. The Black guy who ends up as a classical pianist. The Jock who ends up volunteering in Africa. The Prep who ends up painting his nails black and becoming a Goth. And so on.

Non-conformity is the primary attribute of Rebels. They may draw from any of the existing cliques, but especially are drawn from those we now call Losers, in that they are not too pwn3d by life to differentiate themselves from the unthinking liberal artist masses. Rebels are similar to Losers in that they can be Cliqueless, but not so much due to inability to form social relationships, but instead due to their eclectic natures. Unlike Losers, Rebels can (and often do) have strong creativity and leadership abilities.

Here’s some examples of Rebels who are currently mis-categorized:

Losers who are actually Rebels: Thomas Jefferson, most great painters and composers, most gay people, Vladimir Lenin (but not Stalin)

Scumbags who are actually Rebels: Bill Clinton, Ulysses S Grant, etc.

Nerds who are actually Rebels: Newton, Galileo, Steve Jobs (but not Bill Gates), James Watson, etc.

And there’s many Posters who are Rebels:

— Sandawg (rebelling against law with his trollingforjobs site)
— Exnite (rebelling against Boomerdom)
— Shithead (hipster, rebelling against monogamy/having a permanent address)
— Me (rebelling from Azn destiny of hard sciences and good mental health)
— Kickflipninja (rebelling from his Blackness through world travels)
— Theimmigrant (!) (Rebel leader in so many ways).

In conclusion, this is a new area of study for CT, and remains open for debate. I’ve never been one for Orthodoxy, though, and I firmly believe that Rebels are a distinct clique. (Wily, 10/3/13)



Rebuttal                                                            (Exnite, 10/04/13)


Your new theory may be plausible to some credulous CT critics, but it has many obvious flaws and violates the fundamentals of CT:

1) Cliques are determined by Genotype and identifiable by Phenotype and even character. You propose no mechanism by which a new Clique can be formed out of the members of other Cliques.

2) Clique is NOT determined by the level of achievement in life. The phenomenon you describe can all be ascribed to Ascending WITHIN one’s Clique. Ascended Nerds simply become the Newtons and Galileos of the Nerd Clique. There is nothing in CT that says a Black guy can’t become a Piano Virtuoso or that a Jock can’t join the Peace Corps (although this would almost certainly result in a Jock becoming an epic fail: Google “Joe Don Looney”, former #1 pick of the Giants who became a Hindu Siddha Yoga and is widely considered to be the “most uncoachable player in NFL history (i.e., a rebel). But a Black Virtuoso like Duke Ellington is still a Black, and Joe Don is still a Jock, even though the later might pretend to be in deep meditation clothed in Hare Krishna Robes.

3) Rebellion is merely one component of Ascending within one’s Clique. Even a highly successful rebel does not CHANGE his Clique, which is impossible. A Scumbag can never become a Nerd or a Prep no matter how successful or Ascended they are. A Scumbag can NEVER become a successful surgeon, and a Nerd will never win the Heavyweight Boxing Championship. It just doesn’t happen. CT allows for occasional HYBRIDS like Byron “Whizzer” White going into the College Football Hall of Fame AND becoming a Supreme Court Justice, but that doesn’t mean White jumped Lanes. The brains it took for him to Ascend the legal profession were there from the beginning, in his Genotype. There is no contradiction in CT about this, it’s well established and has been exhaustively explored in many threads.

3) Your “Rebels” Clique have “strong creativity and leadership abilities” which you rightly say Losers do not have, but then you point to various Losers who have supposedly jumped out of the Loser Clique into the “Rebel” Clique, presumably by virtue of the emergent leadership or creative abilities. ILLOGICAL.

3) A Rebel *trying* Jump his Lane can never be identified or classified until well AFTER the fact and presumably after he becomes successful at something completely unrelated to his own Clique. But how then does one decide whether a guy like Thom. Jefferson is an Ascended Nerd or an Ascended “Rebel” or an Ascended something else? Confusion, Grasshopper!

Your “Rebel” category just sounds to me like another way of Losing.

Finally, all of the posters you listed as “Rebels” are in fact LOSERS, every one of ’em, including me (and you). If they had succeeded in anything, they wouldn’t be posting on JDU/OT.

A rebel is a Loser who doesn’t stay in his/her lane. Is that correct?  (Patentesq, 10/4/13)

That’s credited. Rebellion is just a tactic used to Ascend within your Clique; it can’t magically transform you into something you’re not.  This whole “Rebel” thing just doesn’t work; it’s just Wily’s latest effort to avoid facing the undeniable fact that he’s a Loser. (Exnite, 10/4/13)


Heresy VI. Clique Theory is like Creationism


  • Clique theory is as grounded in logic as creationism.  (Gladigotaphdinstead, 8/1/13)
  •  Shut up, queer™. (Theimmigrant (8/1/13 )
  • No, he’s right. (Myth 8/1/13)







JDU is generally populated with individuals who won, and yet still somehow failed. It wasn’t all that long ago that a good GPA in the liberal arts from a decent school, followed by decent grades at a middling or better law school plausibly led to professional success – or at least professional contentment. Of course that’s gone now, but humans – especially humans who have experienced serious failure – don’t react to their changing circumstances in the most rational manner. Clique Theory is an attempt by very bright people to make sense of their failure, when by the commonly accepted standards of the community (college diploma, graduate school, relatively articulate, decently dressed, generally reliable, and hard-working), they should be succeeding.

The vitriol at the liberal arts and at law school, the fetishization of blue collar jobs, the genuine desire for ignorance (how many people on this Fora have posted that they wish they’d never even known about The Law or read any Books or Newspapers while young?) are all a way to Cope with Failure. I don’t think our brains are very good at tolerating Random Bad Shit Just Happening To Folks, and I think our ability to do so gets WORSE as you move further right on the bell curve. You’re right, true spiritual grounding helps with this (there’s a reason there are so many chaplains in the armed forces) – but how many bright Gen X/Y folks are religious? And if they aren’t religious, but might have been open to it in some form or another, is there anything in our culture directing people that way?

I mean, what would you say to KeithD? (Not at all an attempt to pwn) Obviously a very bright dude, who legitimately did Politics Behind The Scenes for a while, and went to Law School because that was what he was Supposed To Do Next. Now he’s in his late 30s with a ton of student loan debt and makes $42,350 + COLA in a 2nd tier? 3rd tier? City in a pretty much go-nowhere government job. This after years on the doc review circuit, clicking and highlighting PDFs or whatever. That wasn’t “supposed” to happen – how is he supposed to explain that to himself? I mean, sure, now he’s probably just like “haha, yeah, I got fucked” and just hops in his Excellent Taurus to do some free city-sponsored, outdoor activities, but it probably took years for him to get there. (alwayslowprices, 5/ 31/14)



Clique Theory is the quintessential Loser science. It is a Liberal Art in that it has no hard data. It is correct but it is frequently ignored or discounted like a Loser saying something at a party, it doesn’t matter if he is right because No One Cares.

Clique Theory is by, for, and about Losers. After all, who has a pulsating need to understand how the World Actually Works? Not happy Preps or Jocks, not Nerds (too busy pursuing Nerdly passions) not Scumbags (don’t care, not at all curious, which is part of what makes them Scumbags) and definitely not Women. That leaves Losers. Losers who are moving through the world not understanding why they don’t get jobs or Hot Chicks or Respect. Losers who are curious enough to want to know the truth but who nobody will be honest with because they are Losers. They are who benefit from Clique Theory, but like cliqueless Losers turning on each other Losers are also quick to reject Clique Theory. It is the height of ignominy and simply proves even more the validity of Clique Theory.

Clique Theory is liberating. It is freeing. While CT can’t head off Losing (Losers always lose no matter what) it can provide some therapeutic consolation by helping Losers understand WHY they fated to Lose. My fellow Losers who reject Clique Theory rage against their lane and in doing so they veer out of it only to be violently pushed back in. Again and again, they try to assert themselves as Nerds or Preps and they Fail because they lack the genotype and phenotype. This compounds their misery. They are like low Scumbags but with the self-awareness to know how ignominious they are. Just like it is said humans are cursed by understanding their own mortality, Losers are cursed by seeing their own ignominy (other Cliques either lack ignominy or cannot perceive it.) But just like understanding death can make it not so scary, understanding clique, the source of Loser ignominy, can cushion the blow. Therefore Losers should not fashion themselves to be Preps or Nerds or “rebels” but should stay in their lane and try to achieve high Loserdom.  (Friendlybum, 10/4/13, edited by Exnite)


  • Clique Theory is the magnum opus of sociological theories:  it makes sense, it keeps social order, prevents cross breeding.  Clique is an American caste system. The strictest in the world. (Theimmigrant)
  •  It explains the Caste System, it explains why atheistlawyer can’t find a job, it explains the prevalence of psychiatric issues in white societies, and it explains why GeorgeConstanza doesn’t get laid. It’s pretty much the all encompassing sociological theory that Wins while all other theories Lose. (Theimmigrant)
  • Clique Theory encompasses both Determinism and Fatalism, and is in fact superior to both. (Keithd, Ibid.)
  • CT theory is really about maximizing your potential by Staying In Your Lane instead of fighting against your immutable genetics. (Pharmstudent, 9/3/13)
  • Clique Theory is still maturing. It’s not perfect yet. A year ago, Scumbags were not yet discovered. And there are still new fields to be explored – for example, the question of whether the above case study on Women’s cliques is valid or not. We must wait patiently for our Dear Leader the immigrant to direct our studies to those unexplored depths. (Wily, Op. Cit)


  • Clique Theory is especially pertinent to the mission of this site, given that the site is filled with people who went to law school to get rich, achieve status, have models and bottles, and run politics from behind the scenes. Clearly just being some guy who goes to Cooley doesn’t get you any of those things. Clique Theory is simply following that reality to its logical conclusion. (Myth, 7/21/13)











***After multiple peer reviewed studies and consistent reliable results in a laboratory setting, with controlled variables, Clique Theory has now been widely and unilaterally accepted in the scientific community. Henceforth, Clique Theory shall now be referred to its more befitting nomenclature: “The Law of Clique Social Dynamics”

(Theimmigrant/Keithd pg. 120-122). (New England Journal of Science, 08/01/2013, art IV, sec 8). (Causanortis, 8/1/13)




Appendix 1: Glossary for Losers Who Failed High School Biology (Wikipedia)


Every living organism is the outward physical manifestation of internally coded, inheritable, information. There are two parts to this definition:


Phenotype: This is the “outward, physical manifestation” of the organism. These are the physical parts, the sum of the atoms, molecules, macromolecules, cells, structures, metabolism, energy utilization, tissues, organs, reflexes and behaviors; anything that is part of the observable structure, function or behavior of a living organism.


Genotype: This is the “internally coded, inheritable information” carried by all living organisms. This stored information is used as a “blueprint” or set of instructions for building and maintaining a living creature. These instructions are found within almost all cells (the “internal” part), they are written in a coded language (the genetic code), they are copied at the time of cell division or reproduction and are passed from one generation to the next (“inheritable”). These instructions are intimately involved with all aspects of the life of a cell or an organism. They control everything from the formation of protein macromolecules, to the regulation of metabolism and synthesis.


The relationship between the genotype and phenotype is a simple one. The codes for the “internally coded, inheritable information”, or Genotype, carried by all living organisms, holds the critical instructions that are used and interpreted by the cellular machinery of the cells to produce the “outward, physical manifestation”, or Phenotype of the organism.


Thus, all the physical parts, the molecules, macromolecules, cells and other structures, are built and maintained by cells following the instructions given by the genotype. As these physical structures begin to act and interact with one another they can produce larger and more complex phenomena such as metabolism, energy utilization, tissues, organs, reflexes and behaviors; anything that is part of the observable structure, function or behavior of a living organism.


Appendix 2: Does Clique Theory Have a Future? (Exnite, 10/8/13)

Despite having aspects that would qualify it as a near-religion, I’d say just about Zero.


Here’s why:

1) CT’s basic premise was purloined from a sopho-moronic movie (The Breakfast Club); therefore it’s not a serious idea and will be laughed at as just a pseudo-philosophy for “Internet cranks”. (See Heresies, Section 1)

2) Women, who comprise 50% of the population, find it wrong or insulting. (Name-calling, smaller brains, TI’s “Linear theory”, etc.)

3) CT is also too insulting to Preps and Jocks, and insufficiently technical for Nerds to even consider, despite Wily’s attempt to turn it into math.

4) CT is counter-intuitive and therefore too complicated for Scumbags, another huge segment of the population, to understand.

5) CT is Politically Incorrect. See The Outline™ for topics such as “The Black Clique”, the “Azn Clique”, etc.

6) CT has no winners, is too negative, and doesn’t offer the promise of Life Eternal or 72 virgins.

7) Whether CT is true or not doesn’t matter. Christianity succeeded because it appealed to slaves, women and other Losers, who made up the vast majority of the Roman Empire. CT has a tiny market niche, i.e. male Losers who got pwn3d by the Law School Scam.

Sorry, immigrant…

Answer: 3%. (Theimmigrant, 10/8/13)

At least you’re a realist; I know this disrupts the fabric of your time/space continuum. 
(Exnite, 10/8/13)



Appendix 3: Why Losers make the Best Posters               (Exnite, 10/4/13, and 11/29/13)

Posting is an activity for fools. The term “Loser” is in fact a synonym for “Fool”, and since it is mostly Losers who post on this Forum, Qfora is a true Fool’s Paradise.


But because posting is an inherently subversive activity, it is constantly monitored by the government. It is an activity undertaken primarily by Losers, so there is nothing for the government to fear.

No One reads or Cares about what Losers post, not even other Losers. Most posts are not even read because Losers like reading their own posts far more than they like reading what others post. 99 and 44/100% of everything that is posted is unoriginal parrot talk, regurgitated from half-remembered political pabulum, liberal artistry and Prole Wisdom, and thus has no meaningful content. Elites know all of this, but continue to snoop on everything that is posted anyway in order to produce a chilling effect on everyone else, and to show they are doing their job. Nerds are working 24/7 on ways to automatically launch drone strikes in the future on authors of the 56/100ths % of posts that actually contain original, subversive ideas and content.

Real subversives use primitive means to communicate, such as hand-written notes delivered by trusted couriers, using camels or cheap motorbikes made in India. Admin should investigate this as a future growth area for Qfora.

Preps: They don’t post, because they don’t care, plus they never have any original thoughts. They steal their ideas from others, and then hire ghost writers, recruited from the ranks of Losers, to write it for them, and then take all the credit. Since Preps are politically connected, their posts would have to be pre-screened by the Democratic or Republican parties anyway to make sure it was “on message”, so anything that made it through this process would be sure to suck.


Jocks: Their writing skills aren’t the best, but they sometimes try. Usually their posts are ruined by sports references, overuse of sports analogies, or blind team loyalties that nobody else understands. Shit like “We Are Penn State!” in posts just doesn’t hack it.

Nerds: If they post at all, it’s in math and equations, and they pick subjects in science or technology that nobody wants to read. Notoriously poor writers, they can’t relate their thoughts to other human beings, and they don’t have a sense of humor that can be understood, except by other Nerds. They have no incentive to post because it doesn’t impact their GPA’s.

Scumbags: Scumbags have no thoughts, can’t write anyway, have terrible computer skills and don’t care, so they don’t post. Their sense of humor is entirely derived from beating up Women, Nerds, Blacks and Losers. Unless posting evolves into a comic book format with mostly pictures, there is no hope Scumbags will ever get into posting.

Blacks: They can write good posts, but only because they are Losers with a long history of Losing. Unfortunately, their posts are often ruined because they dwell on racial issues, make silly demands for justice, or try to get payback by hurling lame insults back at their “oppressors”. It never works, and just pisses everybody off.

Women: Women are unfunny. They love posting, but their posts dwell on relationships, depression, travel and recipes. They are superbly erudite because they went to liberal arts colleges and majored in creative writing, but their posts are interesting only because their female brains are so different than anyone else’s, and because they appeal to Losers who are always trying to hit on them, even on Internet message boards.

Losers: They are compulsive posters because no one else listens to them in the real world, and posting is a chance to vent. No one reads their posts either, except other Losers who read to laugh AT them, not with them. Since they’re never up against deadlines when they post, they never suffer from Writer’s Block, which they always have otherwise. Losers are superb writers, an artifact of their Liberal Arts backgrounds, and their posts are filled with pathos and other Liberal Artiste allusions and references. Their posts are hilarious because Losers write at length about their fuck-ups. Losers have nothing to lose, so they’re irreverent, which is funny. They don’t have to worry about being politically correct either, because they’re already outcasts. Their posts cover wide-ranging, interesting topics, because they’ve fucked up in every field of human endeavor.

If you’re a good poster, you’re probably a Loser, and the more you post, the bigger the Loser you are.



Appendix 4 Clique Chess Thread


(Presented in its entirety and in the same format as JDU, so Losers can comprehend the work effort that went into creating this Outline in its current form)



Clique Chess                                  exnite (Jun 13, 2014 – 2:31 pm)


There are six, and only 6, basic types of pieces:


Prep: King, Tallest, but has no skills, others fight and die for him, gets to hide in the corner via castling maneuver, can occasionally force a stalemate by doing absolutely nothing; oblivious to the carnage going on around him, he’s utterly worthless for any real work.


Woman: Queen, All the Real Power resides here because she can move anywhere and takes anything she wants


Jock: Knights, have crazy maneuverability, coolest looking pieces, are at their best when they work together


Nerd: Bishops, have specialized, high tech diagonal moves, always Stay in Their Lanes


Scumbags: Castles, Big, scary, powerful pieces built like fortresses


Loser: Pawns of course, shortest pieces, totally expendable, all they do is block progress by other pieces; what happens to them has morphed into a term of ignominy, “pwn3d”.


Blacks: Black Pawns, they do all the dirty work but only get promoted if they can advance down the entire length of the Board





Karlfarbman (Jun 13, 2014 – 4:08 pm)


White moves first, too, showing its advantageous starting point.



Theimmigrant (Jun 13, 2014 – 4:15 pm)





Karlfarbman (Jun 13, 2014 – 2:35 pm)


Excellent post, old man.



Wily (Jun 13, 2014 – 3:19 pm)


Losers as pawns is really apt, because there is always that far away chance of becoming amazing (Nixon) by walking down the path of hard work, but they almost always fail and get killed on the way. Plus they mainly destroy each other.



Theimmigrant (Jun 13, 2014 – 4:07 pm)


This whole thread rocks. Verisimilitude, just tude.



Exnite (Jun 13, 2014 – 4:10 pm)


Thinking about it a little more, since the Queen can’t reproduce, her SOLE JOB is to dominate or slaughter all the weaker males on the Board.



KeithD (Jun 13, 2014 – 4:27 pm)


Brilliant. Just brilliant.



Causanortis (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:02 pm)


I like that Jocks (Knights) are the only ones who can jump clear past 1 or 2 losers at a time without being slowed down.


It’s like when Jocks walk away from losers when they are speaking in order to go do something more important.



Exnite (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:10 pm)


Almost the first thing that happens in almost any chess game is the King castling to get the fuck away from the Queen.



Causanortis (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:13 pm)


Also I would add that no matter how hard a loser tries he is forced by the very laws of nature to Stay in His Lane.


A pawn can’t go backwards, diagonal, or side to side, all he can do is plunge helpless forward to be slaughtered.



Wily (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:20 pm)


Well, the few times a pawn does pwn people (usually other Loser-pawns), it’s not even a straightforward pwn. It’s diagonal. Like, Losers always use some sidewise plot to pwn each other, because they’re too afraid of confrontation.



Exnite (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:23 pm)


This causes the pawn to stray Out of His Lane.



Causanortis (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:24 pm)


Good point, the only time a loser pawns another piece is when he’s clearly veering out of his lane.



Exnite (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:14 pm)


These Clique analogies may be the reason the game of Chess attracts only the greatest and most sociopathic geniuses.



fabio2 (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:16 pm)


I’m not sure what I did to deserve this, but thank you!



Exnite (Jun 13, 2014 – 5:34 pm)


And when the Prep King loses, he can blame his defeat on the failures of all the other pieces around him, it’s NEVER HIS FAULT.



Theimmigrant (Jun 13, 2014 – 6:15 pm)


Holy shit haha



Cavebro (Jun 13, 2014 – 6:27 pm)


I think Theimmigrant has a crush on you, Exnite.



Exnite (Jun 13, 2014 – 6:28 pm)


That’s because I’m his sock/career coach.



Theimmigrant (Jun 13, 2014 – 6:30 pm)


You are my equal.



Cavebro (Jun 13, 2014 – 6:28 pm)


“Loser: Pawns of course, shortest pieces, totally expendable, all they do is block progress by other pieces; what happens to them has morphed into a term of ignominy, “pwn3d”.”


Post of the Year candidate!



fabio2 (Jun 13, 2014 – 8:16 pm)


Some interesting observations:


For example, pawns are indeed the losers of chess. They are the most numerous, and the most expendable. However, pawns are also absolutely crucial to maintaining any hope of victory. At the Grandmaster level, the loss of a single pawn without any compensation is basically a guaranteed route to defeat. You will lose, maybe not quickly, but you will slowly be ground down, all your pieces will be traded off, and the extra pawn will be promoted in the endgame at which point you lose.


This is not to say that pawns are not frequently sacrificed. They are, often, and for all types of compensation whether it’s for an important tempo, the wrenching of the initiative, exposing the opponent’s king, the misplacing of an opposing piece, or even for control of a key square. In other words, losers are crucial because cannon fodder is crucial. Without cannon fodder, you are forced to expend your high value pieces against an inferior force which is a sure route to defeat.


The other thing about losers (pawns) is that they occasionally get promoted to the most powerful piece (the queen). This would be equivalent to an ascended loser. This does not happen often (maybe only 5 % of all games) but when it does, 90 % of the time it typically ends the game.


Also, much of opening and middle game strategy revolve around pawn structure. It is common for the formation of the pawns to determine which side of the board you will be attacking on. A pawn chain pointing in the direction of the opposing King typically facilitates an attack in that area, while a timely pawn break in the center can quickly put an end to a wing attack. It is these features which led Andres Philidor, the predominant French Grandmaster of the 19th century to quote “Pawns are the soul of chess”. So if you are a loser, perhaps that is something you can take comfort in.



Exnite (Jun 14, 2014 – 12:42 am)


You may not appreciate Clique Theory, but how else would you have had a chance to show off your deep knowledge of Chess on a Board like this?



Appendix 5 Using Clique Theory in Real Life

(Again presented in its entirety and in the same format as the ‘Dome)


At Jiffy Lube waiting room, using Clique Theory

Upperdecker (Sep 27, 2014 – 9:12 am)

Waiting room very clear: loser, loser, nerd, jock, prep. Employees all scumbags, but one (the guy doing air inflation of tires) probably just loser.

Diplolaw (Sep 27, 2014 – 9:15 am)

any hotties?

Upperdecker (Sep 27, 2014 – 9:18 am)

No females in sight, other than on the TV. And it’s Chelsea Clinton on (because she just popped out a kid), who was hideous as a kid and merely ugly now.

Karlfarbman (Sep 27, 2014 – 9:53 am)

I think jiffy lube tends to have a lot more Losers employed than out and out Scumbags cause it’s not a real mechanics shop. They don’t have to know as much. And a lot of them have horrible phenotypes, not at all imposing like a Scumbag might be.

Sparky (Sep 27, 2014 – 10:09 am)

Excellent post. Losers are not mechanics in the sense scumbags are. Losers could barely loosen the plug under the engine to let the oil drain out. Scumbags could over haul an engine, phuk the owner of the vehicle’s trophy wife, and fry a turkey in the parking lot on his cigarette breaks.

Danielplainview (Sep 27, 2014 – 11:26 am)

My uncle that still lives at home with my grandma worked at jiffy lube for years. I think he went to some trade school for small engine repair, but never finished. He’s 50ish, still lives at home, and works at a warehouse for $9.50/hr.. Best example of a big “L” Loser I know.

Alwayslowprices (Sep 27, 2014 – 11:44 am)

Wow. Flucking depressing.

What happened?

Exnite (Sep 27, 2014 – 11:55 am)

Why, nothing “happened”. Losers are born, not made. And this the fate of all born Losers, i.e. Losing.

Danielplainview (Sep 27, 2014 – 12:00 pm)

From what I hear, he got made fun of pretty bad growing up. Low self-esteem. Also, no desire to do anything in life. So its partially society and partially his fault for his failings.

He spends all his money going to strip clubs. Like fabio, he has never had a girlfriend. Rumor has it that he has possibly banged hookers at grandma’s house.

Appendix 6 Population Distribution by Clique

What Percent of each Clique is represented in the USA?


Based on hybridisation, you’re a Jock if you’re at least 50% Jock, same with Prep, over 50%  and you’re counted as one. Gunna go with a breakdown something like this:

Jock: 12-15% Prep: 8-10% Nerd: 10-12% Scumbag: 22-25% Loser: 48-52%

JDU / Qfora %: Prep: 2% Jock: 2% Nerd: 4% Scumbag: 1% Loser: 91%



Scumbag: 40%

Loser: 20%

URM: 25%

Jock: 9%

Prep: 6%


I think there’s a lot more Losers than Scumbags nowadays.

You forgot Nerds, dieter.

Wily (


Scumbag: 40% – most of the blue collars, URM’s (if we’re not counting them separately), white trash on “disability;” prisoners, criminals, and cops.

Losers: 30% – most service sector employees, most office monkeys, latte slingers. I think you need a bachelor’s to be a Loser proper.

Jocks: 15% – military officers, athletic i-bankers, some cops, some blue collar business owners

Preps: 7.5% – front-men politicians, trust fund kids who become art historians, partners in BigLaw, BigMedicine, and CorpGovMedia.

Nerds: 7.5% – true Nerds are rare. Hard science researchers, analysts who make the money for Preps on Wall St, STEM professors.

The trend is that Scumbags and Jocks are going down and Losers are going up.


Liberal Artists are No Good at Math and this proves it. Cut all your numbers in half because Women with Small Brains make up 50% of the population, explaining completely why society is so fucking neurotic and dysfunctional.

Women 50%; Preps 1% (by definition); Jocks 2% (Jocks become Scumbags or Losers when they get old and fat); Nerds 2%; Scumbags 25%; Losers 20% (Scumbags outnumber Losers).

URM’s don’t count in this survey or any other survey, haha


This is credited. Scumbags indeed outnumber Losers, probably by more than that to be fair. They’re fuckin’ everywhere.

Keithd:  An Introspective

keithd (Dec 15, 2016 – 8:25 am)

I wasn’t always so cynical. As a younger man, I thought the world was my oyster. Even in my Senior Year of university I had no fears of the real world. After all, I was a DUAL major in English and Political Science. Twice the job prospects. No one will care about my GPA. I have a TWO degrees from a prestigious university. What should I do? Perhaps I will become a famous sitcom writer, or should I just write movies? No need to decide yet, I’ll take the Summer to send out some applications and decide which offer to take.

Sending out my applications was a joy. The declining stock market was of no concern to me; people still watch television and Films. Little did I know that the Loser phenotype, which had plagued me in high school and college, would ooze off the ink in my CV. After bombing my few phone interviews, I knew it was time for an alternate plan. MFA? Masters in Political Science? Politics would be a good choice, since there are plenty of Losers behind the scenes. After research, I determined law school would be the best way for me worm my way into politics. A JD would put me ahead of all the other Losers, and I could finally ascend to my rightful place in the world.

Law School, of course, was as painful as High School and Undergraduate school. Despite knowing how to look and act like a Cool Kid, I was rarely invited to any parties. This even after I made sure to talk about how I liked Drinking, Sports and Pussy. I could not escape my 8 basically sexless years of schooling before, and carried my dry spell almost interrupted through law school.

Oh well, after passing the bar I’d find a job and be swimming in money and buxom redheads. As all the Films of yore told, one day the Nerd marries the Hot Girl and has 2.5 children. It would just take a little longer. I attempted to trick myself into believing it. But my cynicism was growing like a tumor. After failing to secure a job from OCI, and getting no Pussy, I knew I was sunk. This was when I finally realized I am a Loser and not a Nerd. I realized that you must stay in your lane, and Stop Caring if you want to get by.

So that’s what I did. I just Stopped Caring. I accepted that Women, with their small brains, would never be attracted to me. Even if I did drop the lawyer bomb any chance I could. Instead of sleeping with the Buxom Redhead, I’d be invited to her wedding. Now I just trust my Loser instincts, and try to find Loser Women I can trick into a night of debauchery. I’ll continue to collect my salary, and happily accept my COL increases. I’ll drink beer and creepily hit on Women. And one day, I’ll get laid and begin the cycle over again.

shellfish (Dec 15, 2016 – 8:51 am)

So you are fat and ugly. At least you gave up on getting Hot women.

And you believed everything you saw on TV and the movies until after law school you were in your late twenties before you realized everything you saw on TV isn’t real? That’s some excessive arrested development.

keithd (Dec 15, 2016 – 8:54 am)

I knew in undergrad, really. I just did not give up until after law school. I had hoped high school was just unkind to Nerds. I realized in College I was a Loser. Once I gave up, life was much easier. Now I just embrace my creepiness.

keithd (Dec 15, 2016 – 8:55 am)

Ask Greenday. I am also creepy. That might be the deal breaker.

fabio2 (Dec 15, 2016 – 9:15 am)

I’ve seen his pic. It’s everything you would expect.

unemployedalcoholic (Dec 15, 2016 – 11:50 am) Do you look like Michael Moore?

3lol (Dec 15, 2016 – 12:52 pm)

“my wonderful personality can trick semi hot women to have sex with me in exchange for drugs”

I think there’s a superfluous component in that sentence.




I extend my sincere apologies to any authors who remain unacknowledged. Please send complaints, claims of authorship, or other great thoughts to:



Exnite, Editor-in-Chief, Ancient Masoretic Hebrew Scribe, and Ageless Boomer

                                                                 NOT FOR RACHEL


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