Pleasure B4 Pain

I failed myself again. I wish I knew how to start a conversation with someone. I’m so tired of the same people same day same habits same routine. I wish I wasn’t such a narcissist. I wish I just didn’t care. I don’t care, really. I wish I would apply myself and not waste my time. Find a girlfriend so Mom will be happy. I wish my self control would work. I wish there wasn’t school tomorrow.

White girl and weed. Feel socialable. Energetic. Kinda slowed but up and out. Maybe paranoid. Won’t text people tell sober. Get work done. Read, game, music. I will not bother people. Caffeine

1:00 am

90 mg dxm, coke, cigarettes, a little weed, caffeine, empty stomach. Post masturbation. Music is nice and clear. Stomach is a mess. Can’t move or I’ll throw up. Double vision coming in. Laying down.

More. You need to use what your ashamed of and vulnerabilities to your advantage

Out of blow. Licked the bag. Face not dumb anymore. Two lattes and Newport’s until I cry.

Cocaine on a school night:

Jeruslem is desolate, what have I become!

Can’t stand sobriety these days.

Lsd 200mcg at 10:00

Oh god I’m fuckedcheribium

12:12

Some are less and some more

2am

😡

5:38